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Very shy 3.6mth old

I have a wee boy who is very shy around other children, even to the point where he wont get out of the car to play on the swings at the park, he's fine around adults and quite chatty, I've made more of an effort to take him to music and playgroups to try and help him get used to other children but to no avail, I'm not sure what to do, please can you give me some advice?? he starts Kindy soon and I'd love him to be excited about it

Jane ...
Answer: I'm unsure from your email if your boy is 3 1/2 years old or 3 and 1/2 months. But from your question I'm guessing he's 3 1/2 years old. Shyness can be genetic, run in families and is unique to some kids. Management is generally based around reassurance and not quarantining the child so they learn that the world and its people are almost always fine and safe. If he sees you being matter of fact about getting out and about and greeting people normally, then he'll learn that this is the way to be. It may help to have him generally checked by your GP and possibly his paediatrician if he has one. A hearing and vision check may also be useful, just to start at the beginning and work your way up from there. Learning to be social can take longer for some kids than others and perhaps he is just going to be one of life's gentler and quieter people. But all the same, he still needs to learn what it means to be a social being and so your positive management of this is crucial. Try not to "feed into" his anxiety by offering him constant and unwarranted reassurance, some kids then perceive this as there really being something to be worried about and it all backfires! Best Jane
Answered: 04 May 2013