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Baby Shower Invite, Yes or No? Rss

Hi All,

I'm new to this forum and this is my first post and I wanted to ask for some advice in regards to my baby shower.

I'm having my baby shower in mid October and have recently created my invites to send out next month. I have a list of people of who I will invite, however, I have a friend on my list that I am unsure about if it's appropriate to invite based on a recent loss.

Last month she went into labour at 7 months and unfortunately, the baby didn't make it. I have wondered if it would be insensitive of me to invite her to my baby shower or is it in appropriate? By the shower date, it'll be 3 months since her loss, is that still too soon?

I have thought about bringing it up with her and obviously leaving it in the air for her to decide with whatever she's comfortable with but i would appreciate any advice anyone may have in regards to this?

Thanks in advance smile
I have a family member who experienced several miscarriages and a still birth quite a few years ago. When it comes to baby showers I have always given her the invitation in person and let her know that I had an invitation for her to my baby shower because she is someone that is very important to me and is someone that I wanted to invite but that I knew that a baby shower might be difficult for her to attend and that I understood if she wasn't able to come, the invitation was there simply because she was important not because I expected her attendance. She didn't come to the showers but at the same time she has commented since that she appreciated the invitation and knowing she was important enough to me that I wanted to invite her but accepted that she may not be able to attend. My family member's losses weren't as recent as your friend's but I think something similar would still be a nice way to approach it with your friend.

Leisa.
leisah wrote:
I have a family member who experienced several miscarriages and a still birth quite a few years ago. When it comes to baby showers I have always given her the invitation in person and let her know that I had an invitation for her to my baby shower because she is someone that is very important to me and is someone that I wanted to invite but that I knew that a baby shower might be difficult for her to attend and that I understood if she wasn't able to come, the invitation was there simply because she was important not because I expected her attendance. She didn't come to the showers but at the same time she has commented since that she appreciated the invitation and knowing she was important enough to me that I wanted to invite her but accepted that she may not be able to attend. My family member's losses weren't as recent as your friend's but I think something similar would still be a nice way to approach it with your friend.

Leisa.


Totally agree. I would invite her but give her the invitation in private and explain that you would like her to come but you understand if she feels she is unable to come.

Good luck.


Thank you both for your helpful reply, i appreciate it. Your suggestion is great and I shall try that smile
It's a sensitive issue. I believe that leisah has a very tactful approach and it's the best way to deal with this situation. You will show that you care about the person, both as a friend (that's why you're inviting her) and as a mother (you respect her loss and you will understand if she doesn't turn up).
What did you end up doing?
I spoke to her under the suggested advice from above comments and she really appreciated the fact that i had approached her personally first. She was happy that i had considered her for the invite but had to decline sadly as she stated that she wasn't ready yet to face it especially the fact that she didn't want to be sad on my day. I reassured her that i understood completely and respected her decision fully.

Thanks again all for your advice smile)
I would be really mindful and give her the invite in person, that way you can deal with any issues and emotions that may come up for her. Also, you would feel pretty bad and she may feel upset with you if you didn't invite her as she is your friend.

Just take some time out to have a chat with her smile
First of all hearty congratulations to you. It is very sensitive issues to tackle. You need to handle these issues in such way that your friend should not hurt because of your invitation. You need to invite them separately considering their situation. If she decides not to attend, don’t take it personally; it may be just that she feels like she can’t handle it. She can make the decision on coming or not, but do not leave her out considering her situation. Once again, congratulations to you for baby shower.

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