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what do you do Lock Rss

What do you do when you want another bub but your partner is finished with having kids??
we have 3 boys and i really want to have 1 more bub (i dont care if its another boy or a girl) but dh is dead against the idea. he has various reasons but his main one is that he wants me to go back to work and there is no child care for 85km. I have tried talking him into it so many times and he still has the same answer sad would you just give up and be happy that you have 3 healthy beautiful kidlets??





80sbaby wrote:
If you can't get him to change his mind then I guess your hands are tied and you can't do much sad have you looked into working from home and then he might feel differently if he knew that having another baby wouldn't prevent you from working? Family daycare might be a good option and seeing there is no childcare near where you live then it sounds like there is a market for that. Other wise you could do an internet based job like data entry? If you can work on te reasons why he is against it then maybe he will agree.


i have looked into working from home but i cant seem to find a job that sounds legit.

We are in a good place financially. we are able to extra on our mortgage every fortnight and we have plenty of savings. We have done the maths and can afford to have another baby so i really dont understand where his reason (me returning to work) is coming from except that he has admitted that he is a little jelous of the fact i can stay with our kids all day and i get the fun bits more than he does. he has said to me that if i could find myself a job that pays equally as well as his does then he would stay at home and enjoy some time with our kids.





I know everyone is saying oh if thats what he wants you are going to have to give up your wants, WHY??? why are his wants any more important than yours? I totally get how its a very hard issue to deal with, and there is no easy solution. All i can suggest is give him some time and maybe he will come around to the idea? I dont know what else to say, but my friend always told me you always know in your heart if you are finished having your children.
While family planning is a decision you make as a couple, unfortunately it's not one that you will always agree on. I certainly don't think you should be trying to pressure him, but I suppose all you can do is strongly express your desire for another child but maybe be willing to compromise on timing? As in say yes I understand you don't want another right now because of money and childcare, would you consider in a couple of years once I've gone back to work for awhile and managed to save a bit of money etc. I imagine going from 3 to 4 would be a bit of a jump financially (thinking bigger car, possible bigger house etc).




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Thanks for your replies ladies. I think you got it there skubala with the bigger car etc. Hopefully we can come to an agreement sometime. i dont want to have another bub just yet but sometime in the next 10 years would be nice lol





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