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I never knew it was a competition.. Lock Rss

Hi all mumma's!
<<this isnt aimed at anyone BTW>>

Ive only recently had my baby (shes 6weeks old) and before that i never had, well, anything to do with babies or was around anyone that had babies really...
But since having my little girl ive noticed how some mum's (and some dad's) seem to act like its a big competition on things your babies do.. ive seen mum's be belittled on the sillest things! From where they chose to have their bub to how fast (or slow) their bubs is developing and when they reach milestones. every baby is different and no-one should have the right to judge or comment in a negative way.
This has made me so nervous about talking about my bub to ANYONE, i dont want someone judging me or looking down their noses at my baby.

I thought having a baby is meant to be about learning together and enjoying our babies.. not comparing to everyone else.

---WE SHOULD ALL BE SUPPORTING ONE ANOTHER!!---

Just needed to get that out!!

xx
It can seem like that but I'm not sure if it's always meant that way- sometimes I say to friends what's bubba up to these days cos I love to hear it but then they answer and ask me the same thing and dd might be doing something their bub isn't yet (or vice versa) and I've always worried that's how I was coming across sad

And then you have the weird ones that are actually comparing which is just annoying and such a strange thing to do as all our bubs are beautiful and have talents all of their own wub

I know what you mean though, fellow mothers aren't always as supportive but we need to be as its such a tough road and none of us will ever do it perfectly! Pay no attention to those ones wink







Hun welcome to motherhood!!
Sadly there will always be a competitive mother or father, I don't mind sharing milestones with friends and family in a way that isn't competitive but in a way your just updating what there up to, try not to let it get to you hun though some mothers may come over as bragging or comparing but some times there just super excited there child has made another milestone smile
But when you get upset sweetie I know I did with ds as it felt like sil lil girl was always compared to my twins I just took it in my stride and said meh my kids are different they will do things in there time smile

I'm sorry sweetie but unfortunately there are plenty of years of this I still put up with it in my dd1s preschool! But your baby girl is the smartest poppet in your eyes just as mine in my eyes and that's all that counts really is that we as there parents know there special smile
I'm the same I believe babies reach their milestones when they want and yes mothers do tend to compare some just to see if their bub is we're their ment to be others to brag Or cos they are so proud
I don't like asking personally I can see what their babies can do if their family or friends
But I will add I have had some below the belt comments about my 25 month old not talking
At first I used to let it slide but not anymore I'm my little ones voice for her so I speak back
And she also had a strawberry mark on the left hand which you can still see and I always get asked what's that or what's wrong with her arm
but all the other stuff when they rolled over when they had their first tooth started crawling walking etc what ever any 1 says I just shrug it of and give em a half disinterested answer
laugh
I LOVE talking about my baby and hearing about other peoples bubba's, it warms my heart.. but some women (girls) can be increadably harsh. I even got criticised about having a drug free birth.. since when is THAT a bad thing?!
when i told another mummy that my lil one smiled for the first time at 3 1/2 weeks she responded with "oohh.. my one smiled at 2 weeks, which is the NORMAL time... i didnt realize your baby was a little slow.. sorry hun". my baby isnt slow!! i was so taken back. i didnt even respond.

I love this site, the other mummies and daddies (the mojority anyway) are so nice and offer GENUINE advice and care.

xx

I'm the same I believe babies reach their milestones when they want and yes mothers do tend to compare some just to see if their bub is we're their ment to be others to brag Or cos they are so proud
I don't like asking personally I can see what their babies can do if their family or friends
But I will add I have had some below the belt comments about my 25 month old not talking
At first I used to let it slide but not anymore I'm my little ones voice for her so I speak back
And she also had a strawberry mark on the left hand which you can still see and I always get asked what's that or what's wrong with her arm
but all the other stuff when they rolled over when they had their first tooth started crawling walking etc what ever any 1 says I just shrug it of and give em a half disinterested answer
laugh

I use to cop crap for dd2s birth mark on her lip it was a stork mark and has eventually faided I got what is that or your daughter or she shouldn't have a dummy look at the mark it's causing angry it's a birth mark who cares!! Dd2 still has a prominent one on her neck as does ds on his chest and all they are is a kiss mark from a angel before they were sent down to mummy and daddy wink

I LOVE talking about my baby and hearing about other peoples bubba's, it warms my heart.. but some women (girls) can be increadably harsh. I even got criticised about having a drug free birth.. since when is THAT a bad thing?!
when i told another mummy that my lil one smiled for the first time at 3 1/2 weeks she responded with "oohh.. my one smiled at 2 weeks, which is the NORMAL time... i didnt realize your baby was a little slow.. sorry hun". my baby isnt slow!! i was so taken back. i didnt even respond.

I love this site, the other mummies and daddies (the mojority anyway) are so nice and offer GENUINE advice and care.

xx

Wth a drug free birth is a courageous thing hun well done!!
Omg what planet is that mother on with smiling I can't recall when my bubbas smiled and I don't think it was that early and my kids aren't slow strange at times hell yeah laugh
I'm glad you enjoy this forum you will
Make some beautiful friendships here hun I adore these ladies there awesome for support and help smile
i find it worse when it's family.

My sil maded a big thing because my oldest son who 3 weeks younger than her son started walking before hers. I just kept saying oh he just wants to keep up with his nanna's cat ( which he did). Then she said mine just lazy but at least mine eats by himself. I said i like his food to go in his mouth and not on the floor which he would do with the food.

We don't talk anymore so i don't have to hear her complain about her kids not doing what mine are doing.

I getting pretty good at tuning out after having 2 boys in the space of 3 years and i've learnt that every child does things at a different place.

Don't worry about what others are saying just cherish every single thing your little one does and if someone says something just smile at them.

Plus some parents like to say their kids have done something when in fact their child may not have.




[quote name='Love my lil bugs' date='19 April 2012 - 09:44 PM' timestamp='1334832264' post='3172685'] I use to cop crap for dd2s birth mark on her lip it was a stork mark and has eventually faided I got what is that or your daughter or she shouldn't have a dummy look at the mark it's causing angry it's a birth mark who cares!! Dd2 still has a prominent one on her neck as does ds on his chest and all they are is a kiss mark from a angel before they were sent down to mummy and daddy wink [/ So true I like that a kiss from a angel I'm gonna use it next time Iv noticed that when my little ones are playing with other little kids that they do not judge each other they are so innocent Some times I prefer hanging out with them than the adults ( don't get me wrong I like company of adults ) just the innocence of little ones we could learn so much from them They don't care bout color race looking different or anything
So true I like that a kiss from a angel I'm gonna use it next time
Iv noticed that when my little ones are playing with other little kids that they do not judge each other they are so innocent
Some times I prefer hanging out with them than the adults ( don't get me wrong I like company of adults ) just the innocence of little ones we could learn so much from them
They don't care bout color race looking different or anything
[/quote]
Ha ha me to Hun I don't get my god what are you wearing mum it still has my (dds) boogers from me this morning on it like I would from a adult laugh
Kids innocence is a gift I think dd1 came home the other day and said mummy the black boy and I played together in preschool ok dd his Indian not black but that was her way of explaining him and it was sweet like she doesn't care what color he was she just described him like that grin

Eta what's with the replies I couldn't reply then it ended up looking like this huh

my DS had one on his eye and he still has a birthmark on his shoulder
but you remined me of what my mum used to say with my freckles she used to say angel kisses well that means they really love me as they sent me down with heaps of angel kisses

I was told by someone when DS was 8wks old to stop using the dummy or he won't talk

Aw that's sweet of your mum wub
Yep dd1 got rid of her dummy at about 2.5 years old and I copped it big time for her having it she will have a speech impediment she won't talk blah blah blah well she has a fantastic volcabulary she even said today "mummy my curtains look just wonderful hanging thank you oh so much" ah melted my heart laugh so stick that in your pipes nasty rude people laugh
Birth marks are special as not every one has one smile and hey it's how my parents told the twins apart in the early days laugh

I find it is usually the ones you don't know that say things like my little man is born in DEC and he had only turned one when we were visiting santa and they asked how oldI responded and they go is he walking yet and I replied around furniture but not unaided (very proudly) and they ohhh I see and stopped talking that insant and looked at us funny



See that's just like what the hell like come on his only 1 he is doing what he is happy to do
I got that with my first I was over friends place I sat her down and just sat their I got asked does she walk yet I said no not then she picked her up and started talking to her and said now if you were mine you would be walking by now she was only 13 months
And when my Secound started walking I got oh she is walking already I'm like um yes as you can see
So iv found you can't win grin
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