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  5. Ladies, i need ur advice in regards to engagement party!

Ladies, i need ur advice in regards to engagement party! Lock Rss

My Fiance and i got engaged in early May this year smile and we plan to have our wedding in December 2011. We have picked a venue but it only seats 36 people so the wedding will be tiny. I dont think my parents will throw us an engagement party because my father is a little funny about the wedding traditions atm eg. tradition that the brides parents pay for the wedding, because my DP and i had a baby before we were married. Which i find very funny because times have changed and a lot of couples have a baby and then marry. anyways, i was thinking that my dp and i could host one at the start of next year, which will be 8 months after our engagement. I read online that its suppost to be within 3 months of the engagement but my MIL said her and her husband had theirs ages after. What do u think?

the wedding will only consist of our imediate family and grandparents so the rest of the family, eg auntys and uncles will miss out, so i thought an engagement party would smooth over any hard feelings and it gives our extended family a chance to celebrate with us. But i also read that they engagement party should consist of the people being invited to the wedding. I dont mind inviting my other family members who wont be going to the wedding even though we arent very close, i just dont want to invite my dp's aunties and uncles. I know that sounds bitchy but one doesnt like me and the other has a partner that i just get the "creepy" vibe from and i really dont feel comfortable around, let alone have my family around. Im confused and new to this stuff lol is it rude to ask my parents if they could host one? Thanks ladies, i really need your advice.

I really need to know the "rules" of throwing a party.
I'd have an engagement party and organise for there to be a celebrant there - suprise wedding! That sorts out the guest list problem... they'll all be there. Then you're not forking out for 2 events.
Well, in this day and age, you can do whatever you like! BUT...

As for the actual "rules" of an engagement party and the etiquette for it - yes, engagement parties are traditionally held very shortly after the engagement or not at all. Those who are invited to the engagement party are those who would be invited to the wedding (traditionally). I know one couple who had a large engagement party and then a small wedding and quite a lot of people were very offended by it sad You would need to make sure that the guests are completely aware who will and will not be invited to the wedding so that the expectation of a wedding invite will not be there on their part.

Just a thought, instead of an engagement party, would it be possible for you to have a second reception after your wedding? This is fairly common for people who have destination weddings or small weddings on boats etc. Basically, you have your ceremony and a small reception with your intended wedding guests then, when you return from your honeymoon, you have a second reception with the extended guest list where you share your wedding photos and the guests get to "experience" the wedding day. It isn't everyone's cup of tea but, thought I'd throw it out there in case it's something you may be interested in.

The most important thing is that you and your fiance are happy with the plans smile
honestly i wouldnt feel right about inviting people to an engagent and not a wedding...kinda they are good enough to come to the enagement, but not the wedding type thing.... i dunno, but id be offended if i was invited to an engagement and bought a gift, to be left out of the wedding, just doesnt sit right with me

but have fun with what ever you choose
I don't think there is any need (these days anyways) to follow 'traditions' as everything happens all over the place ie: Baby then marriage, Buy house then Marriage, House, Baby then marriage IYKWIM?

I say do things the way you want and when you can afford it, invite who you want and don't invite those that you don't!

Yes people may get iffy if they are invited to engagement and not wedding but you can explain to them that you cannot afford/no room to have a huge wedding but still wanted them to celebrate this with you IYKWIM? You could call it something else instead of 'Engagement Party' that may take the stress away!
Thanks so much for your advice ladies. I see that people that are invited to the party and not to the wedding may get offended but i also saw that it gives the other rellies a chance to celebrate with us. Im thinking that we might just have a party inviting people who are invited. Obviously i would have to speak to df but he is really letting me do the organising. i was originally thinking to include the other rellies because my father is going to have a micky flip when he finds out only his father, mother and step father are invited so i thought this would smooth the waters with him...but i guess, if we are hosting the party, we should invite who WE want.
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