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what to do? Lock Rss

sunday morning SIL brother committed suicide. the funeral is today. DH went and saw SIL and her partner (his brother) that day. I couldnt go because DD was being a pain and i didnt think it was the time for them to put up with a grumpy 11 month old.
Anyway last night i sent other SIL a message asking for SIL's mobile number coz i had lost it. then 2 hours later she rings DH. After the phone call i sent her another msg asking why she couldnt reply to my msg.
She has just sent me a msg asking where iv been all week n how come i havent supported SIL.
The fneral is today im not sure weatherr to go or not. DH is going but i swear if SIL even looks at me side wides ill give her a mouth full.
I cant stand this womann, she is 2 faced and interfering.
Sorry to hear about your family's loss.

Personally I would go in support of your SIL, and I would try not to let your other SIL get to you- try and STEER CLEAR. Drama at a funeral is the worst kind of drama.

Good luck and all the best

NSW


Sorry to hear about your family's loss.

Personally I would go in support of your SIL, and I would try not to let your other SIL get to you- try and STEER CLEAR. Drama at a funeral is the worst kind of drama.

Good luck and all the best


yea thats what i think to. dont worry i have more respect than to start any drama at the funerl
Is she a person that would be likely to approach you though? It can be extremely difficult to bite your tongue in those situations, especially when it is someone you don't like.

NSW


sunday morning SIL brother committed suicide. the funeral is today. DH went and saw SIL and her partner (his brother) that day. I couldnt go because DD was being a pain and i didnt think it was the time for them to put up with a grumpy 11 month old.
Anyway last night i sent other SIL a message asking for SIL's mobile number coz i had lost it. then 2 hours later she rings DH. After the phone call i sent her another msg asking why she couldnt reply to my msg.
She has just sent me a msg asking where iv been all week n how come i havent supported SIL.
The fneral is today im not sure weatherr to go or not. DH is going but i swear if SIL even looks at me side wides ill give her a mouth full.
I cant stand this womann, she is 2 faced and interfering.

I got a little confused at who it was who passed away (I think your SIL's partner's brother?) but, that's beside the point. I'm so sorry for their loss. Suicide is such a heart-wrenching thing for families left behind to go through.

If it were me, I'd absolutely go to the funeral regardless of what your other SIL has to say. It's about the other SIL and her partner and showing that you care. I know some people can be absolutely infuriating and it can be near impossible to be in the same room as those people but (this is just my opinion) today is one day where you really need to ignore any other issues.

If SIL (the one you don't like - sorry if this is hard to follow!) says anything you don't like, just say "Today isn't about you or I. We'll talk about it later." If you give her a serve today, it will only make you look bad and play into her hands. Same as if you don't go at all - I think it would give the impression that you don't care (I understand that you do care, that is just the impression it may give if you weren't to go). BUT, if you feel that you wouldn't be able to contain your emotions if SIL says anything to you, maybe you should stay away as it is the last thing your other SIL and her partner's family will want to see.

I'm sure your other SIL will understand that you felt giving her some space this week was best with your little one not being in the most cooperative of moods. But, I think not going to the funeral would be a little bit harder to explain your way out of. Even if you have to take a grumpy 11 month old out half way through, I think making an appearance is important.

Again, I'm so sorry for the tragic loss and I hope your SIL and her partner are holding up ok.
I personally think you should go.

Life is full of people that we do not get along with and would love to give a serving to and that's fine, but at times like this you need to put how you feel to the back of your mind the funeral is not about you or the nastySIL it's about niceSIL and her family who have just lost a one of their own.

Whatever is going on between you 2, niceSIL should be put above that and be shown love and support from her family. Do the right thing and bite your tongue out of respect for the family that are going through something so terrible. Steer clear of nastySIL and if she tries to start anything simply state that now is not the time nor place, you guys can't get into an argument if YOU don't bite back or acknowledge her 'looking at you side wides' and remind yourself why you are there.

Very sorry for your families loss.
as the last 2 posts say, go to support the nice sil, ignore the other.

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

so sorry for your adn your families loss. i would go to the funeral.

and seriously if u cant hold your tongue and be a grown up at a funeral then well .... i dunno how to say it cos i dont want to offend u but really if u cant controll yourself then maybe its time to grow up.

i agree with what everyone else has said if u cant avoid the other SIL to support your nice SIL then if she confronts u its really time to act your age and say its not the place. if she doesnt back down DONT RESPOND TO HER she's the one that will look like a d!ck for yelling at u. dont stoop to her level. if u really feel the need to retaliate then do it after the funeral... like the next day not at the wake. but personally i would just ignore all the crap. take a deep breath and ignore it.

sorry to be so blunt but i think it is very pompous of you!

There has been a tragic death in the family and all you can think of is if the sil will look at you wrong so you will give her a mouthful at a funeral.

Maybe this is a good time to learn some compassion and self constraint!
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