Huggies Forum

Darn DH Lock Rss

First of all please no debates about breast or bottle feeding just having a vent.

Well after not being able to breastfeed my first 2DD for very long i have now been successfully breastfeeding DD3 for nearly 10 weeks. I am so proud of the fact that it seems to be going right this time.

DH hates the fact that i am breastfeeding and is very negative about about it. I can be sitting giving her a feed and he will throw a blanket over us....we ar ethe only ones here!!

He says he wants her on formula as then we know how much she is getting and i dont have to watch what i eat (she gets wind from alot of food). He also thinks she will be more settled on formula (she has slept no less than 9 hours a night for the last nearly two weeks).

She has had a tough time of it since birth and we still dont know for sure whether she will need skull surgery so he doesnt beleive me when i say it is best for her health.

I just cant understand why he cant be supportive....screw him though i am going to continue on - but what happens if it starts to affect our relationship???Do i stop?
jealousy?

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

hmmm sad

glad you have been able to BF this long this time smile it feels great aye!!

what is his reason for not wanting you to BF other than that you dont know how much she is getting? she is obviously getting enough if she is sleeping that well.

if you still want her to get breast milk and he is so worried about the amount maybe express a feed a day so he can see how much it is?? and then he can bottle feed her and he might like to help??

not sure but good luck smile

jealousy?

I was going to say that, too. Is he feeling left out? If your previous 2 children have been formula fed from an early age, maybe he's feeling left out that he can't participate in the feeding?

He has the right to not like it but he does not have the right to disrespect your wishes and treat you with animosity over it.

It is his issue, not yours, so he is the one who needs to deal with his feelings rather than you succumbing to him.

I would be trying to find out why he's so against it exactly. Maybe try expressing occasionally so he can get involved with feeding too. If your daughter is thriving and you're enjoying it, that's great!

He doesn't need to love it but, he does need to respect it.

hmmm sad

glad you have been able to BF this long this time smile it feels great aye!!

what is his reason for not wanting you to BF other than that you dont know how much she is getting? she is obviously getting enough if she is sleeping that well.

if you still want her to get breast milk and he is so worried about the amount maybe express a feed a day so he can see how much it is?? and then he can bottle feed her and he might like to help??

not sure but good luck smile


Well if it were my DH he would get a bloody kick up the bum.

Don't stop. It is something he needs to come to terms with himself. Take him with you when you next go to the CHN and have a chat about all the benefits of BF. Remind him how wonderful it is for him that you do all the night feeds. It's free. It won't cost him a cent. It's fantastic for you and for your baby. It sounds like he is jealous, or very uneducated. Congratulations on feeding this far, you've done a great job! I hope your DH can come to see BF for the beautiful thing it is.
I think he is definately a bit jealous. And i know he really wants to help and do what he thinks is best but i just really want to be able to do this.

When i express i get about 150ml. And i do this once a day so he is able to help out with a feed.

He is starting to make me feel like i should be ashamed rather than happy about breastfeeding. Everyone talks about being forced to breastfeed but has anyone else ever felt forced to stop??
You do whatever works for you. Can you get him to come to the next check up with you, and ring and give the nurse a heads up beforehand? This is the number for your local breastfeeding support group phone

Hope it gets better, PM me any time. xx

I think he is definately a bit jealous. And i know he really wants to help and do what he thinks is best but i just really want to be able to do this.

When i express i get about 150ml. And i do this once a day so he is able to help out with a feed.

He is starting to make me feel like i should be ashamed rather than happy about breastfeeding. Everyone talks about being forced to breastfeed but has anyone else ever felt forced to stop??

In all honesty, I hated breastfeeding. I hated the sensation of it. I felt sick the entire time. I would dread every feed. It wasn't painful after the first 6 or so weeks but, I just didn't like it. I fed DS1 for 12 months because I pressured myself into it.

With DS2, I felt pressured to stop for my own health and sanity and I did at 5.5 months. BUT, that was a good kind of pressure. I needed to stop for my own health and it was the right decision for me. If you stop for anyone's reasons but your own, you'll resent the decision and, in turn, resent your hubby.

Has he seen the info on breastfeeding? Is he maybe mistaking weight gain for healthy growth? If your older 2 grew faster on formula than your DD3 is on breastmilk, he may be confusing it for her not thriving? Although, I had two baby elephants who were off the charts when breastfed so, that may well be the case with you too. I just thought I'd throw it out there to check.
To the OP - just tried to PM you about my own personal experience with this (sorry a bit TMI to put on here) - but it says you can't accept any PM's...........
Has he seen the info on breastfeeding? Is he maybe mistaking weight gain for healthy growth? If your older 2 grew faster on formula than your DD3 is on breastmilk, he may be confusing it for her not thriving? Although, I had two baby elephants who were off the charts when breastfed so, that may well be the case with you too. I just thought I'd throw it out there to check.
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I never really thought about that. I guess you could be right. DD3 is alot smaller and not growing as fast. She is only in the 25centile. But she has spent a bit of time in hossi as she was sick. I think i am just going to sit him down and ask him about all of his concerns. Then explain to him why i want to continue and let him know i am going to continue and would really like his support.

Thankyou so much for allowing me to vent and for all your great advice and help.

To the OP - just tried to PM you about my own personal experience with this (sorry a bit TMI to put on here) - but it says you can't accept any PM's...........


sorry my mailbox was full - i just emptied it out a bit. Would love to hear your experience.. thanks

I never really thought about that. I guess you could be right. DD3 is alot smaller and not growing as fast. She is only in the 25centile. But she has spent a bit of time in hossi as she was sick. I think i am just going to sit him down and ask him about all of his concerns. Then explain to him why i want to continue and let him know i am going to continue and would really like his support.

Thankyou so much for allowing me to vent and for all your great advice and help.

That sounds like a very good plan smile

Good luck! I hope the chat goes well and that you both reach a happy understanding smile
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