We had the same issues with family being in the same place (my parents are divorced and make joint things painful) and as far as money goes, this was a second marriage for both of us and my first wedding cost well over $45,000, was a constant source of stress and I swore I would never do it again hahaha.
We "eloped" to Bali, howver we did tell everyone before hand, we told them we were happy for them to come along and the dates (food is increadibly reasonable over there, so we had no issue paying for dinner for anyone who made the trip - least we could do smile ), however we only told them 3 months before and none of them could make it.
We were married in a villa with just DH my stepson and myself, our witnesses were the wedding planners and it was the most beautiful intimate ceremony that included my stepson and had everyone in tears (happy ones!!).
After the ceremony we had photos on the beach and then we went to Metis for a wonderful dinner, and because we had saved so much on the wedding we drank fabulous champagne and had every dessert on the menu. Other diners also sent glasses of champagne over to the table to congratulate us - it was lovely.
The wedding itself was so cheap, flowers and villa decorations, photographer, minister, civil official etc and planning was just over $2000 from memory, no costs for reception decorations etc and dinner was around $1000 (but we REALLY splashed on the champers etc). With all the money we saved we were able to spend almost a month there at fab hotels for US, not all the hangers on.
It is up to you but I would not change a thing - the day was perfect and personal, just for us.
As far as family goes, even though they were not there we gave them the option so they were not too upset and for Xmas that year I gave them all hardcover photo books with all the beautiful photos from the wedding and they all loved it.
One day if they all get along and if we have the resources we may renew our vows and invite them all, that option is always there if you feel like you missed out.
But remember, one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage is money issues - the last thing you want to do is start married life in debt up to your eyeballs thanks to a big wedding!
Good Luck smile