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i H*TE my MIL, what to do??? Lock Rss

hi everybody

im having a really hard time with my MIL... a few years ago she was a cronic gambler and used to take her problems out on my DP, once she even said she was going to kill herself and it would be all his fault if he didnt give her money and co-sign a bank loan for her (i had a parent commit suicide and she knows this), in the past shes called me names and cr@p and i just cant bring myself to like her!

when i was pregant i told her on several occasions not to visit me in hospital when i had my son till i said i was ready, so what does she do..turn up anyway.. with a camera.. after calling my mum who told her not to go, i had asked the nurses and midwives not to let any visitors in but somehow she managed to get my room number

when she came my DP quicky left with her and she had a tantrum crying and asking why i didnt like her (im not entirely sure why she doesnt know why)

now that my son is born she constantly says his name wrong despite my DP correcting her on several occasions

ive also overheard her telling DP the family assistance money i get is actually his! among other (petty bit*hy things)

im just not sure how to deal with this, my mum says i need to put her in her place and correct her but i know she will turn it around on me as she usually does, i dont want to make my DP uncomfortable as he NEVER stands up to her

what would you do???
What a piece of work! It's no wonder you can't bring yourself to like her - I wouldn't either.

First thing is first - is she still gambling? I have to say that it sounds like she is, given the fact she's told your DP that the family assistance money you get (from Centrelink I presume?) is actually his.... It's not true, and even if it was, it should not be of any concern to her unless she is either going to try and hit him up for money or has a legitimate reason to believe her son was being taken for a ride by someone she didn't approve of (you).

The only thing I can suggest is that you and your DP seek assistance from counsellors who specialise in addiction - they're not just for the people who are addicted, but the families and friends who are affected by it too. You don't have to get you MIL in on the sessions, for you and your DP to go would be as a means of finding support and obtaining guidance about what is going on.

Sorry I can't be of more help, but GBH to you, and I hope things look up soon!
Oh i feel your pain.

My mil has put us threw the ringer. I had to get hubby to stand up for us because it was causes us more problems.

You need to tell your DP what the go is because now that you have a son it's his place to say something. You could even tell your DP that if you say anything you will be putting her in her place and you & your ds are his family now.

MIL never think their dil are good enough for their sons.

Hope everything gets better for you.

im a hater too.. lol. my MIL is INSANE!!!

first off.. she smokes ALOT of pot. and i mean, she spends something like $300 on it every few days. when i met my partner he smoked too (they used to get high together) and i told him how i felt about the habit (my dad's a skitzofrenic because of it and is now in jail for life). he tried to quit but she kept getting him to smoke with her..
i had words to her about it and she flipped!! shes had nothing to do with me since. i couldnt even wait out the front of her house in the car! she would flip out n call me names.
when i was pregnant she called my lil girl a mistake n that she would have nothing to do with her simply because i was the mum.. she even said my daughter would be ugly!!
i tried to mend bridges with her before bub came along so that she could be in her life, and she told my DP that the only way she would agree is if i would get on hands n knees n apologize (she was DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT THIS) and then she would think about it.
now that we have bub she calls me names because i dont take my daughter to see her .. she lives 1000km's away! its not like i can just "pop over".
she would also constantly puts my family down because we were not well off like her.. calling my mum a "derro" etc. SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW HER!

i feel better getting that out =)
i feel your pain honey
mel_evie; sounds like our situations are very similar except my MIL is into pills

aaand she says my son looks like an alien (bit*h)

orchalia; shes in counselling! im sure shes a secret gambler still but not to the degree she used to be

ive decided nxt time she gets our sons name wrong to make me mad i will have to say something, DP knows it will make her cry but tbh i dont thnk he cares anymore

My mil has put us threw the ringer. I had to get hubby to stand up for us because it was causes us more problems.

your lucky your DH has the guts, idk why mine doesnt, only child maybe he doenst want to hurt her as she has said ive taken him away from her in the past
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