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  5. DH changed his Internet banking password

DH changed his Internet banking password Lock Rss

For some reason DH has refused to get any sort of joint bank account with me. I'm not bad with money so its not because I overspend...he's never really been good at understanding that he works to support his family and pay our bills, not to support his car and fishing hobbies.

Anyway money is tight at the moment post wedding. Because we don't have a joint bank account I have his Internet banking password so I can pay the rent when it is due and check how much is left for shopping, etc. DH is forgetful so it's easier for me to do it. The small amount I get from centrelink is used to pay our bills.

Today I went to log on and he has changed the password on warning or reason.

I'm a little offended. I haven't done anything wrong or spent money I shouldn't have. I KNOW it's his account but we have been together for 5 years, have a 1 year old and are married. I know I don't work but I do all the housework and stay at home to look after our son. He doesn't want me to go back to work so I really have no extra money to spend as the bills, shopping and DS comes first an there is a pittance left after that. He still manages to buy things for his car and fishing tackle each week. I never ever complain about this to him and I feel like he is spitting in my face by taking away my access to the family money.

Wow I didn't realize how hurt I was til I wrote this down.

Whats everyone's opinion?
I'd be offended too. Just call him and tell him you need the password. If he says no, I'd question as to why he doesn't trust you... If my DH did that, I'd take it as he doesn't trust me! He may be the one who goes to work to make the money but you are married and that means it's FAMILY money, not just HIS money.

Yeah, no I thought that too but I messaged him to ask him for the new password and he messaged back;

'I changed it myself, you don't need access to my money'

Clearly he's in a mood, probably had a bad day at work but that's no excuse for being rude.

Yeah, no I thought that too but I messaged him to ask him for the new password and he messaged back;

'I changed it myself, you don't need access to my money'

Clearly he's in a mood, probably had a bad day at work but that's no excuse for being rude.

I'd be p*ssed if my DH said that to me! Luckily for my DH, he values his life!

I really don't get it, he married you & you have a child together and yet, he doesn't trust you with what is apparently HIS money???

I would be completely offended. Espescially after he said 'you don't need access to my money'.

You are a family. He may earn it but it is your money too. It is for your son too.

What if you need to pay something. That is just rediculous

I would not be happy. DH does not have my internet banking passwords, but we have joint accounts, so he has full access to all our money anyway.
DH never buys anything for himself (tools/fishing gear etc) without letting me know. Its not that he is asking permission, he just wants to make sure there is enough left in the account incase we have a direct debit due to come out. This is only cause all our savings sits in on our mortgage & (we have redraw available if needed) we only ever keep enough in our savings account for bills etc (we have a credit card for emergencies)

Sorry to say this but I think he is being an arse!!

I would be very offended if it were me.

Uggghh don't be sorry...he is being an arse.

Yeah I'm a little more than offended at the moment especially after that text.

We've been married for 2 months...great start to our married life hey?
You poor thing. I would be extremely offended and wonder what he's trying to hide. Unless you have to pay the rent today, I would discuss it face to face so you can see if he is being honest with you. Just explain to him that you need to pay the rent.
i would be utterly offended and he would get an earfull.

by doing that he is basically saying i don't care about you or our son. i don't care if you go without or if there is an emergency.

he is a childish, selfish ar$e and if i was you i would open up an account in my name only and have the centrelink payments go in that.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

If he is being like that maybe he needs to transfer pay into your account every pay to cover the rent, bills food and let him pay the whole lot. then use your money you get for yoruself and anything extra you need to get like fishing tackle for yourself or chocolate after today!!!!!!!! lol

that way in the end the money needed wouldnt be in his account and you would have it to pay the bills othewise hand them all over to him and say you pay them im not doing it anymore. and ask him to either go do groceries himself or put the grocery money only into your account.

We have had joint accounts since before got married, when you are married was his is yours and whats yours is his. Seems pretty childish and nasty to me, I wish you luck in getting this sorted but I would really try and put the responsiblity back on him if hes taking it away then he will need to buy everything, my husband hates the supermarket going every now and then is enough to put him off lol

take care
OMG isnt being married about being a partnership? patnerships should be equals. I would super mad if that was my husband.
Thankfully from the moment my husband & I met we have had joint accounts I do have my own account but he has complet access to it if needed not that there is ever $ in it.

im still in shock reading that a man could treat his wife & child like this sad how does he expect u to pay bills & put food on the table ?
Jerk. You could be spiteful and a smart ass but really you guys need to have a serious talk when he has calmed down from whatever 'mood' he is in.

If he insists on keeping his own account I agree that a certain amount should be transfered automatically every pay for you to sort out bills/rent. Otherwise I'd be telling him he can manage it all and your money is yours and your sons only. When he's hungry tell him your not spending YOUR money on food and bills anymore
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