Hi there, i havnt been on this site for about 1 yr and thought i wanted to read tonight if anyone had similar problems of an unhappy marraige, well unhappy partner's....I will be using this as my motivation now to go to the dr's. Few more other issues with my situ, but all the same, this topic could save my 10 yr marraige. im knocking on divorce's doors. I have a non cancerous tumour sitting on my pituatory gland which didn't make me ovulate naturally for 2 of my pregnancies, the tumour was picked up, pills to shrink it and couldn't believe it, fell naturally with our last child. For many years now though, I have not felt the way a wife should feel towards her husband. I love him dearly, he's my best mate, but dont feel in love wth him...
We just moved for financial reasons from my home in Bris to Perth. We were scraping through just every week. FIL (a very controlling manipulative man) dangled a big home cash deposit with the condition we live in Perth and no-where else. We have always been renters. You dont get offers like that every day so was desperate, and we lived in Perth previously for 4 yrs and I enjoyed it. The difference then was, it was planned our future was in Brisbane so I knew i would come home to Bris. We did the current move 6mths ago.
I ignored the fact that my DH is an alcoholic.
A Non-abusive, non-voilent hard working bricklayer, full of energy with the kids when not on his 4th beer but does drink 4-7 beers, 5 out of 7, nights of the week. He is a quiet/mellow drinker but all the same, when we go to the park so does that 6 pack. Makes him lazy with his interactions with the kids. Kids love him, he adores them. He is a very kind husband.
I now miss my only living relative, my hearing impaired mum..I say deaf bec i have a strong desire to look out for her, she too, is my best friend. Going home whenever I want and her here, costs money and the mortgage is hitting us hard, bec FIL altered the amount he gave us AFTER we already moved to Perth. I know, very deceitful person.
Today I told DH Im leaving when we're cashed up again, bec my move for the family isn't what's right for me to be a good parent and gulp, i wasnt in love with him anymore. He took it on the chin and said he was saddened but not surprised by the conversation. He already stipulated about 6 mths ago he would not follow me back if this was to happen bec we always bickered over money.
To summerise why ive posted on this site, Reading this has given me motivatation to perhaps not throw in the towel so quickly and to check my hormone levels and if the tumour is causing this...If I can help him and me in the bedroom, he may be willing to chuck in the daily booze for his family. He has always brought up the non passionate sex life we have when i say he his a drink prob, so he's gotta do something that makes him feel relaxed, I can see his point... Problem, all the males in his family who live here, 3 of them whom he's close with are also alcoholics..Could I be defeated already with them around, dont know?!I knew this before the move but we needed a lifeline. Never been a home owner so it was so exciting to dream of paying off our own bit of Aussie land.
Sorry to go off track but i guess i wanted to express woman can be at the brink of ending their marriage to then read posts like this and to then get a tad of hope....thank you and that was good to get that off my chest, no-one knows of this except for me and my hubby, mum thinks everyings hunky dory, what a pickle Im in!!!!... And yes I started seeing a counseller 4 sessions ago, and it does feel good every time i walk out!! smile