Huggies Forum

Disappointed... Lock Rss

Hi girls I'm a regular poster in the forum, however I have made another profile just to post this topic for some understanding and advice. I am not a troll, just very embarrassed and upset with my DP and didn't want my personal life splashed on the net, so I have gone anonymous.

Today DP worked early and when he come home my best friend was over. He went and grabbed our son and had a little cuddle while I attempted to burn my bf a cd on my laptop.

I had no idea what I was doing so I asked him if he could help me...he huffed and complained about it and said to me, "I don't even know why the eff (censored) I even bought you an effing laptop if you can't even use it I should've just bought you a stone and a stick."

I was gobsmacked, besides the fact that I paid for the computer my darn self, he never swears at me, EVER.

So he comes over and does a few things and I lightly tap him on the thigh and say to him, "babe you didn't need to speak to me like that, I just asked for your help!"

He then balls his fist and slams it down on my shoulder, somehow making it click out of place, all while holding our son.

I scream in pain and my bf looks away clearly horrified by what's happened.

I then sit there at the computer, with tears in my eyes. DP hands DS to my bf and goes and gets ready for the gym.

I manage to compose myself enough to finish the CD and DP comes out and goes to give me a kiss goodbye and tells me he loves me. I lean away from him and remain silent.

He then says to me, "it wouldn't have effing happened if you weren't so bloody stupid."

My bf passes DS to me and tells me she has to leave as DP is storming out the house, clearly distressed by the whole situation. I quickly feed, change and put DS to sleep while crying the whole time.

After DS is asleep I end up vomiting...I don't know whether it's from the physical or emotional pain.

I am like a zombie. DP has never ever been anything but a loving partner and doting dad and I can't believe what he's done. I am completely and utterly against any violence at all...our relationship has been nothing but perfect and now im shattered. I'm always the girl that shakes her head and can't believe that women let their partners abuse them.

I don't know what to do...It's been over 5 hours and he's still not home.

Thanks for reading if you have got this far.
He isn't doing drugs is he to help with body building? Maybe after he has had something to eat when he gets home sit him down and tell him your scared and your friend was scared and whats going on.

Also your friend did see him do this. you may want to point out if she wanted to she could report him to child welfare as he was in the arms at the time.

have there been other times that you haven't mentioned... name calling etc.... if your arm is bad you may need to see a doctor, and tell them what happend...... its hard sometime to see that things arn't going well or they do something... maybe its a one off but maybe he is dealing with some anger issues or other issues at the moment... can you go stay somewhere else with baby tonight>? if you are scared? you don't need to say what happened just that he is working away and you are lonely or something/
I'm so sorry. If this has come out of nowhere, it must be a horrible shock as well as a terrible thing to happen. I felt a bit sick reading it.
I think in this situation, I'd go to somewhere I felt safe (a family or friend's place). You don't need to discuss it with them, unless you need/want to.
But whatever happens, he had no right to do that.

I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling right now sad

If this is out of the blue then it must be such a big shock to you right now.

I think you need to go somewhere else for a while. Take your DS with you and have some time to think. Can you stay with a friend of family? What your DP did was so very wrong and the fact that he was holding your DS at the time is even worse! Also the fact that it's so out of character makes it worse.

Is your shoulder/arm ok? How are you feeling right now?

Your best friend should have stayed to make sure you were ok sad
Wow.... Thats sad reading your post.

I dont know what the other comments are. You should leave now. As they say its Only the beginning. Maybe it'll happen again? But then again maybe not?

I guess its easy for a reader (like myself) to say leave him, but its hard, i know it would be.

My opinion like i said is leave now know your partner than what we do. You do what you feel is best. Maybe go away to family/or friends house for a week or so?

I dont know how you feel cos ive never been in your situation but i hope things get better.

Good luck with everything.
wow op that is horrible!! If my DH ever did something like that i would be packing up my son and be out the door before he got home. You should never be treated like that by anyone especially in front of your child. As pp said is he taking any drugs for body building etc? it sounds highly strange to me i hope you go and stay with some family or friends and i would also have a talk to your friend that was there and explain to her that he has never done anything like this before and that you won't stand for violence in front of your son or at all for that matter so she doesn't report it to docs. Im so sorry for you op i hope you can work this out GBH

wow, i feel quite sick after reading that. you should definately talk to him about it but i think you should have some back up there when you do. i am sorry mate but the whole incident is scary as all hell imo, especially as you were also holding your son. do you have family that you can go to for a bit?
Awwww hun, That sounds scary as sh!t.

Are you scared if he comes home he will do the same if you try and talk about it?

Seeing as it was a completely unprovoked attack i would be worried there is an underlying issue (drugs, alcohol, mental etc) which would trigger an 'episode' like this.

The only way to find out is to talk to him about it but if i was you i would feel safer with someone else there. Or maybe if you leave for the night, leave him a letter stating how you feel. I know i explain things better in a letter than speaking coz i always stuff up what im trying to say.

At the end of the day you need to do whats best for YOU and your son. So if your scared, leave.

Im so sorry this has happened to you. I just hope you get the answers your looking for and he comes back grovelling (sp) and apologises and not be a b@stard.

Huge hugs hun, dont feel scared to talk to us about it. We will help you as much as possible.

Disappointed, I would be livid (I am livid for you). Not only did he treat you badly but in front of your bf. I would be embarassed and ashamed of him too. Maybe you should leave. Even if it's just for the night until you can talk without the babe around. Take a stand and let him know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that kind of behaviour is not acceptable and will result in you walking out the door permenantly.

Why did your bf leave when he did? No way I would leave my best girl alone after that when you obviously need a shoulder. Are you close with anybody else that you can turn to.

Sending you all my best wishes
My advice would be go out for the night and stay at a friends / family with DS and then speak to him at a cafe or something the next day (child free) and try and sort it out.

How long does he normally work out for? If he's been gone for hours perhaps he's gone to the pub or to a mates place. If he's gone to the pub.... get out now.... right now. It wont end well.

I really feel for you. If there is anything i can do please do not hesitate to ask. Big hugs and stay safe. XXXXX
Get out of the house now before he comes home. Pack a bag and go even just for the night. Not pointing the finger sounds like steriods to me. If you know he is on them you need to get it sorted. But first you need to protect your baby. And you. Go to a motel or anything. Womens refuge or similar will help you pay if you have no money. Go now.

I am also worried that you have not replied to this post that you have posted. Can you let us know you are ok.
The one thing I think you need to ask yourself is, "Am I scared what he will be like when he gets home?"

If your answer is yes or even maybe, you need to get out of there now. You need to look after yourself and your child.

Even if you have to stay at a motel or something. Although it would probably be better if you were with family or a friend. Just to let him cool down overnight!

I can't believe your friend left you there!!!

Take care.

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