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  5. dont know how to control near 3 year old

dont know how to control near 3 year old Lock Rss

i have a gorgeous near 3 year old from a previous relationship, he doesnt know his father. hes always been very dependant on me, and very full on, loves teh attention and loves males. but hes always been a great kid, so much fun.

Ive recently had a new baby with a new partner, and ever since then, hes been very bad. i know all kids go through this jealousy stage, but i think its something more.my partner never used to play with him and atend to him as such ie feeding, bathing, but he would always chat to him and have a laugh with him. Now our new ones here, he doesnt ever talk to josh or spend time with him, he sees josh as a nuisance,Josh is picking up on this, and hits charlie (4 weeks old). hell be fine really if itsjust us at home, he gets a bit repetative and just wants to see charlie, so i let him, inbvolved him in nappy changes and bathing etc. but when other people are here, hes screaming for attention, and hes so naughty, smashes toys up, hits people, constantly charges at charlie, and although hem ay not even be hurting him, DP likes to jump at josh and tel him off for his every move..

Josh has now begun waking at night screaming, slep walking and is utterly exhausted, he cut out day naps a few months ago when he moved into a big boys bed.. hes just feral by 10am.. so if im out the car i make sure he naps about lunch time for at least an hour but even still, he wakes up just as bad.. i dont know what to do anymore. when dp is off work on the weekend, if ind im inviting friends over so were not all alone here, as im frightened of josh getting in trouble again. i dont want to begin taking josh out for the day on my own.. as i dont want the kids seperated (yet dp is never interested in things i do and will hapily go off with the boys on the weekend whenever he wishes)

We cant go to any of my partneres friends houses for dinner dos.. as josh cantbe out past 7.. so is putting a strain on us, as people dont like coming here and everyone who sees josh ends up shouting at him, glaring at him , and its making me so defensive of him. i just dont know what to do to fix it
anyone??
HI, just read your post and was wondering if you have sat down and talked to your partner about the possibility of him spending more time with your son. I have 2 little ones and my 2yr old son just beams eveytime my husband even so much as looks at him (mind you, tho I do have to remind him and he may roll his eyes at me, but laughs when our son jumps up and down with so little attention). It is important that your son has a male figure in his life, but maybe just remind your partner what it used to be like with just the three of you (keeping in mind that this is a civil chat, not a defence court about your son, hehe).
I know its hard not to get defensive, but communication is the key to all relationships. Hope this helps.
(It will probably take a few weeks of mild attention changes, but it will happen. Your son is just scared that he will loose your man!!)
Hugs to you.
This is a hard thing for you. Your partner needs to spend one on one time with your 3 year old, it might be going to the park for half an hour or just running an errand to get bread or milk. He feels left out because he knows his little brother is the centre of attention. Things will get better, but you and your partner need to be going to same things and both giving your 3 year old as much attention as you can, especially when the baby is asleep. My DD was nearly 3 when my youngest was born and I used to get her to help me with the baby even when I was so tired and everything took twice as long but she felt needed. We also make sure that once a month we have one on one time with all the kids. Get your partner to sit down and talk to you about the relationship he wants with both kids, have a list so that you stay on track and try not get into a screaming match. Hope this helps and things get sorted for you soon.
Take care

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