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  5. Need advice on 4 year old behaviour please

Need advice on 4 year old behaviour please Lock Rss

My dd is about to turn 4 and has turned into an uncooperative, head strong, argumentative, tantrum throwing monster! She used to be good but at the moment argues with EVERYTHING! I can't tell her anything -she knows better! When she doesn't get her own way she starts screaming then gets really angry -she has hit me, hit my washing machine, kicked the door etc. She was NEVER like this. Of course, I give her immediate consequences and lots of counselling at a later, calm time. She says she'll be good but this only lasts until she doesn't get her own way again. Oh, and she is talking like a baby with this silly baby tone. I don't even think I can recognise her normal voice anymore! She has recently dropped her day sleep on most days of the week. She still sleeps 1 -2 days a week. I know she is very tired. However, she can't sleep 4 days a week as she is at preschool and also she won't get tired enough to sleep until about 4pm. At the moment I put her to bed at 6:30 and she sleeps to 6:30. What I really want to know is if this is normal behaviour for a 4 year old or have I done something wrong? How long do they take to adjust to the no sleep routine? If it counts, she has been "diagnosed" as gifted. I have read that these kids can be very difficult at times. Any advice or encouragement gratefully received. Thanks!


Hi Sharyn,

Reading your post was like I was reading about my 3 (turning 4 in August)DD. Mine has always been a reasonably good girl, but lately she is telling me NO - when I ask her to do something. She trashes her room on a daily basis (I put her in for a sleep but she doesn't have one) and our lounge room (where her toys are). I have confiscated nearly all her toys if she won't pick them up and this doesn't seem to have worried her. I am at wits end. I am 7 weeks pregnant, got bad morning sickness (that lasts all day and is worse in the afternoon) She also cries at the drop of a hat if something doesn't go her way or if she gets into trouble or if we tell her no. She also tells lies (don't know if really lies or just her imagination).

Sorry I can't help you, but i am glad to know there is someone else out there experiencing the same as me. Just one question though, how did you find out she was gifted? I believe my daughter is quite bright , so just wondering.

Thanks and sorry I can't help.

Thanks Anam for your reply. I am really upset by her behaviour at the moment and wondering where I went wrong but hoping that maybe this is normal for this age. Its so good to hear someone else is having similar issues. I think also it may be to do with independence - she is caught between being a baby and being a big girl and hates it when I stop her doing what she wants.


Re the gifted question...My dd is reading at a level higher than the current Kinder kids (I am a teacher so am privy to this info), she writes her whole name and her 3 step sisters names, write sentences, counts to 100, tells me the number after any number in the range 0-100, can write any number up to 100, is very socially mature (plays with the older preschool kids, learns very quickly etc. She also rolled, sat, walked, talked early.Because of all of this I spoke to the preschool teacher who said she forgets she's only 3 as she fits in with all the 4 and 5 year olds so well. Then I spoke to the school counsellor because I was concerned about her starting school so young next year. She advised against an IQ test as she said its unreliable at this age (eg if they decide they don't want to be cooperative or are tired) but from what I discussed with her she is gifted, so we need to keep her stimulated or she'll lose interest and misbehave. Bright children do often have stronger wills because they have their own ideas and want to be able to implement them!


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