Yvonne Dawson wrote:
Hey, Anna here. How are you doing? I want a piece of advice from here. As I am infertile I go for IVF to fulfil my desire of becoming a mother. But unluckily my first 2 cycles failed miserably. And now I am thinking of changing my mind towards surrogacy because my husband is persuading me towards it. Should I go for surrogacy or try it a bit more.
I guess opting for surrogacy is not like ''well I want a surro this time to carry the baby for me''. The process is much complicated. And there must be the reasons your dr will advice you this very treatment plan. Such as medical problems with your uterus. You had a hysterectomy that removed your uterus. Or conditions that make pregnancy impossible or risky for you, such as severe heart disease. Or when you've tried at least 5 ivf shots with no luck. Of course the latter may vary within clinics, but the forner two ARE the reasons. Then if you're planning for surrogacy you'd better do a huge research work and self educating on the point. As surrogacy law varies tremendously throughout the world. You should be aware of all possible risks which might be hidden. I've just shared some of the thoughts on another thread. I think I can paste here.
I personally did a huge research work on surrogacy in the US and the UK first. And the situation there turned out to be not that simple. Taking for ex. US frst, surrogacy there is overwhelmingly expensive. Costs vary from $60 to 150k! Unless you have a kind friend willing to carry the baby for you. If things go wrong (A surrogate backing out or a miscarriage) you will have to pay at least $5k to match with another surrogate. Also you'll have to do their health workup through the agency. Seems there are so many costs that could be added at any time! Furthermore, it seems so unreasonable that most of that cost goes to the agency or lawyer. (Rather than the surrogate, who receives on average of $20k for the pregnancy in the US.) Moreover in some states, surrogate mothers retain a parental right to the child. They can even pursue custody. Even though the embryos placed in the surrogate have both of your DNA, the surrogate mother’s name is on the birth certificate! Then you have to go through the process of adopting the baby in court.
Moving further, the woman who gives birth is always treated as the mother in UK law. She has the right to keep the child. Even if they’re not genetically related!! However, parenthood can be transferred by parental order or adoption. Surrogacy contracts aren’t enforced by UK law. Even if you’ve a signed deal with your surrogate and have paid for her expenses!! It’s illegal to pay a surrogate in the UK. (Except for their reasonable expenses.) The child’s legal father or ‘second parent’ will be the surrogate’s husband or partner unless: Legal rights are given to someone else through a parental order or adoption;
The surrogate’s husband or civil partner didn’t give their permission to their wife or partner.
If your surrogate has no partner (Or they’re unmarried and not in a civil partnership) the child will have no legal father or second parent unless the partner actively consents.
After much gleaning in forums it becomes clear that Ukraine has some useful options to offer. First, surrogacy there is relatively affordable. With all-inclusive plans starting at 32k up to 50k, which covers absolutely everything outside of your plane tickets! Among services transportation, food, accommodations. All things that involve IVF for you if you are using your own eggs, surrogate screening and medical costs, birth at the hospital. It is also the same price if you choose to use donor eggs instead. It is a nice back-up plan to have if things don’t work out with your own-- at no additional cost!! This blews away. It's a rare thing to see this kind of all-inclusive plan anywhere else. The best part about it is that they guarantee you a baby. If the first surrogate doesn’t work out, they will try again with another using your frozen embryos until they are successful. We have encountered other couples who chose Ukraine purely for the guarantee factor of a baby at biotexcom. Also ukrainian law favors the intended parents rather than the surrogate. Under it the baby is yours from the moment of conception. Once the baby is born, the birth certificate is issued with your names. The surrogate cannot claim any rights. Lastly, the procedure is time-wise there. IP don't have to put in yrs before actual start of the program.
This choice is always individual for every couple. I just wanted to say if it's surrogacy for you, don't expect it to be ''easier'' for you. Good luck!!