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Feeling overwhelmed Lock Rss

I am 33 weeks pregnant and having a tough time of it emotionally. I have a strained relationship with my family in which I feel I am the one that gets kicked when everyone else has a bad time, but there is a simultaneous expectation that I be hypervigilant to everyone elses feelings and make all the effort to maintain the relationships. Being pregnant has not changed this. But it has made me more resentful of it. I am still working and have another 3 weeks till I finish. I am exhausted and do not have the energy to monitor them as well. I don't really have friends I can talk to, and the girl who used to be my best friend is now in a relationship with my twin brother, who doesn't speak to me because he finds me too emotional.

The only person I can talk to is my husband, and while he does his best, there is lots that he can't understand. His whole familiy is overseas, so while they are excited there is not a lot they can help with.

I am feeling extremely alone, and am very quick to tears. I am struggling to sleep and am overwhelmed with worry about financially managing on maternity leave. I am living on next to nothing at the moment because we are saving like mad (just built our house too so very low on funds and no savings), so I can't do anything, go anywhere or join my friends at dinners out. I know this is our last oppurtunity to enjoy ourselves but we can't afford to. Every other pregnant person I have spoken to talks of their families excitement, their baby showers, and how much help (financially and practically) they have been getting from friends and family throughout their pregnancy. I don't have any of that. It hurts like mad.

I am scared I can't do this, because I am doing it alone - and if I can't cope now, how will I cope when this child arrives.

Is it normal to feel like this?
Just guessing (since it was one of the first things you said) that your family is stressing you out more than anything else. Do you contact your family very frequently? It would be best for you to limit your time with them considering the way you are feeling. Don't feel like you have to answer the phone or contact them. I have very emotional parents and I didn't learn to deal with them until my husband taught me! Basically, he taught me to change the subject when they are trying to guilt trip me, come up with excuses to end the phone call (pregnancy provides plenty of excellent excuses), and above all never provide too much information that they can use against me (don't get too personal - and never talk to them about how you're 'feeling'. Offer a couple of supportive words and then chane the subject when they start talking about how they are 'feeling'.) Your husband is your outlet for how you are feeling and it sounds like he is pretty supportive. My husband has so many friends and is very close to his family, yet he never talks about anything 'deep' with them at all. Sometimes, it drives me mad, other times, I understand exactly why. It makes him a happier person in the long run.

Financially - I was in your position (but without a baby) a couple of years ago, and since we sold our house and no longer have a mortgage I am much less stressed and happier. We also both have higher paying jobs now. Obviously I'm not saying you should do the same thing, but I guess I am saying that circumstances can change quickly and without warning - I never thought we would sell or move or change jobs - so tough it out and try to remember that it won't be forever, even if you had the money very soon leaving the house will not be an easy thing so at least that is one less thing you will suddenly have to get used to when the baby arrives.

Also, being 'supported' financially and otherwise from friends/family can actually get annoying. If no one is trying to help you, console yourself with the fact that you are allowed to do things your way without any resistance.

It sounds tough and it sounds like you are really wanting to have someone to talk to but I would actually recommend otherwise, I know what that feeling is like and honestly what I have learned from my husband is the less time you spend thinking about your feelings, the less you actually have them and that can be good for your emotional health. You don't have to make sense of everything you are feeling, it's ok to ignore your feelings sometimes and sometimes it is just better. Plus, if you are only talking to your husband, that's good, he'll give you one opinion and you won't be swayed by several different people's opinions (ie those of your family who think you are 'emotional').

Also, go and visit your husband's friends just at their houses or something, doesn't cost anything, gets you out of the house and keep yourself busy even if it's just with tasks around the house to stop you thinking about negative things!
hi there, firstly, i'm sorry that you are feeling like this sad

pregnancy hormones suck. the only advice i can give you is that you need to just take a deep breath and concentrate on yourself, your bub and dh. don't worry about what everyone else is thinking or feeling. it seems as you have taken on this burden to make everything alright with everyone. you are who you are and if your family can't accept you then i guess that is there problem not yours.

finacial stress is horrible but you are doing all you can do and babies don't really need much in the begining and remember you will be getting baby bonus money.

i found that when i fell lonely or stressed/upset a long walk helped clear my head or even window shopping.

good luck hun i hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

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