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Single, 18 and 23 weeks. Advice? Lock Rss

Well I'm 18 yo, expecting a beautiful little girl in June.

I've been feeling really confused about a few things lately... I'm not sure about these things...

1- Is there a way to feel a little more attractive while pregnant and am I going to be single for a long time?
My self-esteem has raised a lot since being pregnant strangely enough but I can't seem to think that I will be single for a long time because I have a kid. I know my body isn't going to be the same as before and I'm worried that having a child will scare people away. Especially, having a child so young. I'm also really worried that I will find the "wrong guy" and it will take a toll on my little girl over time. I want something committed but I know it's a lot to ask at such a young age.

2- Should I move out with friends or stay at home where I don't need to pay rent?
I'm staying at my Dad's house (he's only here 3/4 days a week) with my little sister (15) and best friend. I pretty much run the house (cook, clean, do groceries ect), which I don't mind because I've always been quite independent. This house needs a lot of work, and is hard to maintain but it can be done. I don't pay rent and Dad pays for the bills, I help out with groceries.
My friends mum is offering to pay bond and sign a lease so my friend and I can get a place and a fresh start.
I like the idea of having our own place but I'm only on Centrelink and don't think I can afford much when living out of home, I'm a bit worried about leaving my little sister behind too sad I am considering waiting until I can get a government housing place to move out from Dad's.
I'm just not sure of which is the better option at the moment? Is it easier living with parents the first few months?


Thoughts?

Thanks happy
1- Is there a way to feel a little more attractive while pregnant and am I going to be single for a long time?
Just because your pregnant/going to have a baby doesnt mean that you will be single for a long time, i think though you need to be honest straight up and if people run away because you have a baby than they werent worth your time in the first place. My DH had a son when i got with him and it didnt make me want to run away. As for self esteem and body issues, i think we all go through these when pregnant and after your baby is born. Being pregnant and having a baby is magical, enjoy it for what it is. Its hard to say what your body is going to be like, its only now after baby number 3 that my body isnt what it used to be, it bounced back really well after baby 1 &2.


2- Should I move out with friends or stay at home where I don't need to pay rent?
I would stay with your dad until you work out your finances and get all of your baby things. Just remember when you move out you need to factor in rent, gas, power, furniture and it will be hard for you to know if you can afford it until you know exactly what your going to get off centrelink. There is the online estimator that will give you a guide, but doenst mean that you will get that amount. I think being a first time mum your going to need some support, whether that is your dad or your friend its up to you. Is your friend someone you can rely on, will she want parties/friends over when your trying to get your baby to sleep and in a good routine?
Oh and i forgot to say congrats on the pregnancy!!


2- Should I move out with friends or stay at home where I don't need to pay rent?
I would stay with your dad until you work out your finances and get all of your baby things. Just remember when you move out you need to factor in rent, gas, power, furniture and it will be hard for you to know if you can afford it until you know exactly what your going to get off centrelink. There is the online estimator that will give you a guide, but doenst mean that you will get that amount. I think being a first time mum your going to need some support, whether that is your dad or your friend its up to you. Is your friend someone you can rely on, will she want parties/friends over when your trying to get your baby to sleep and in a good routine?


Thanks, well my friend and I aren't the party type at all. She's really respectful and does try to help out when she can. She's quiet and generally prefers being out of the house than having people over smile Which is what I prefer too.
I'm pretty good with finances and have lived out of home independently before but this is my first child and I guess I can never be completely prepared for what is to come smile

I think I might just stay at home until I can work things out. I really don't like the idea of moving either, so much effort! haha smile

I just am having trouble weighing the good and bad aspects of each situation :/
I had my first just after I turned 18.

My best advice is:
To your first question, you will meet men and it's up to you to sift through the dead weight. It's found it hard dating not because of the guys that ran the other direction but the ones that were still interested. You have to be so selective and I would recommend that you don't introduce your child to a prospective partner for a while until things are serious. Plus trust plays a big part. I had a massive concern about the impact of introducing someone new that may not last and the attachment plus picking someone that was a good person. But it's not impossible to date and find someone great. There's even single parent gatherings. I googled it one time.

Your second question, personally I wouldn't move out just yet. I would stay where you are for now until you get settled with baby. I don't thinks it's a great idea that you move out with a friend. I would worry about them bringing people over that I don't know or didn't like, not to mention if they bring dates over. As well your friend will be dealing a crying baby and then when they get mobile they get into everything.

But that's just my opinion. you need to do what feels right for you.
STAY AT HOME!!! friends can only help you so much...your family can help you more than anyone else will. Babies can be very expensive and you will cherish the free rent. I am 19 and pregnant....I feel fat, ugly, and hungry. I dont think that will change much over the course of the pregnancy. all i can say is family and friends are who you need right now. Relationships will come later. Just focus on your baby girl cause in the end thats all that matters smile
My answer to question one:
Unfortunately pregnancy does effect your body permanently and things are 'never' the same. However, I disagree with women who say it's impossible to return to your original size and blame having children as the reason they've never lost their baby weight. I have a friend who has popped out 2 children in the past couple of years and is back to her original size 6 figure. My SiL had a baby 7 months ago and she is thinner, fitter and healthier NOW and she was looking mighty fine before she fell pregnant.

I feel like a beached whale 80% of the time and I find that spending an hour or two on my hair once a week makes a huge difference. I make sure that I shampoo and condition my hair followed immediately by blow-drying and straightening. I add a little product just because I'm overdue for a hair-cut and my ends look pretty bad! Shave armpits daily and make sure you don't forget deodorant... I know that might sound stupid but I seem to forget these small things now my head is swarming with pregnancy stuff. Apply your cream to your belly, breasts and bum daily in an attempt to avoid stretch marks. People say it doesn't work but I'm yet to see a stretch mark and I'm 34 weeks pregnant.

Having a child early will no doubt scare a lot of potential partners away but think of it as a means of shortlisting. From now on everything is about your beautiful baby girl and you will no doubt find that in time this means that your wants and needs will be pushed to the side because all you want is the best for your child. You might find that being a single mother without a partner is what's best for you and your daughter... I wouldn't focus on it too much, sadly, you aren't the first, nor the last mother to find herself in this position. You will eventually meet someone and when you do, remember to keep your daughter's best interests ahead of your own.

My advice for question 2:
I would suggest that living at home is the better option. You'll be surprised at just how many expenses can pop up moving out of home let alone adding a baby to the equation can bring. Yes it's fantastic to have a place of your own but there is so much you need and sadly it all costs money. I think you should concentrate on having the baby, getting everything you need for bubs out of the way and focus on saving for a place of your own. Remember that you need 4 weeks rent as bond plus an additional 2 weeks minimum. You also need to buy furniture, pay for groceries, utilities and it requires a LOT of budgetting. I nearly cried when I saw my first power bill for $680... I never touched the air-conditioner again!

I wish you the best of luck and remind you not to feel like a failure. Remain positive in your way of thinking and it will honestly make the world of difference. Remember to eat healthy and keep fit and active! Congratulations on your baby girl! I'm sure you will make a marvelous mother!
Hi, I am 18 years and have a 10 month old. Honestly having a kid doesnt scared away the good guys. I still get hit on. I got chatted up by a guy at the supermarket whilst my son was in the trolley

Hmmm the second one is a tough one. Personally I would move out but it really depend on how much rent is where you are, if you will cope (not saying you wont) & is your friend really ready to live ful time in a house with a newbore

Well I'm 18 yo, expecting a beautiful little girl in June.

I've been feeling really confused about a few things lately... I'm not sure about these things...

1- Is there a way to feel a little more attractive while pregnant and am I going to be single for a long time?
My self-esteem has raised a lot since being pregnant strangely enough but I can't seem to think that I will be single for a long time because I have a kid. I know my body isn't going to be the same as before and I'm worried that having a child will scare people away. Especially, having a child so young. I'm also really worried that I will find the "wrong guy" and it will take a toll on my little girl over time. I want something committed but I know it's a lot to ask at such a young age.

2- Should I move out with friends or stay at home where I don't need to pay rent?
I'm staying at my Dad's house (he's only here 3/4 days a week) with my little sister (15) and best friend. I pretty much run the house (cook, clean, do groceries ect), which I don't mind because I've always been quite independent. This house needs a lot of work, and is hard to maintain but it can be done. I don't pay rent and Dad pays for the bills, I help out with groceries.
My friends mum is offering to pay bond and sign a lease so my friend and I can get a place and a fresh start.
I like the idea of having our own place but I'm only on Centrelink and don't think I can afford much when living out of home, I'm a bit worried about leaving my little sister behind too sad I am considering waiting until I can get a government housing place to move out from Dad's.
I'm just not sure of which is the better option at the moment? Is it easier living with parents the first few months?


Thoughts?

Thanks happy
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