Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Newborn Nappies

Learn More

sorry i'm venting Rss

I'm so sorry. It is very hard, and the majority of women who are fertile just do not understand. Like you, I long for a child. Right now it is just DH and me. And every day we pray for children. I always say I would be so happy if I could just have one, but really I know I want 2. Ironically, I think my faith in God has actually gotten stronger in this whole ordeal. I also realize that the testing of my faith makes me a stronger person. Even though I have not gotten my BFP yet, I feel the peace and comfort. Some days may be hard. Sometimes people can make us feel miserable. They can take away our hope by just saying a few words. But we should be strong for us, for our husbands and for our future children.

I truly hope the above doesn't offend anyone who may not be religious whether it be because of infertility or not. It is totally normal to feel like God has forgotten about you when you are going through something like this that hurts so bad. It helps me to remember all of the blessings He has given me. And it also helps me to do something nice for someone else. Serving others gets my mind off of my infertility. Of course, it's easier said than done. I certainly don't always do the right thing, but I try anyway. My plans for the coming week are to send some flowers and good cheer to a friend who just had surgery and has NO family, no husband, no children, no parents, only one brother who lives very far away. Also I’ll bring some food and goodies to local animal shelter. It always makes me feel much better, especially when I have rough days.
God love you poor thing. I know what you're moving through. I'm so sorry to hear about your mc - very painful experience, surely. and the way you're feeling must be natural for those in the similar circumstances. I'm sorry, honey, your funding is almost up and that the following IVF shot is going to be your last one..I believe this contributes to even more stress, so you have to get distracted somehow. This all is very individual, see. Some find relief in walks out with friends. Others find it right to talk to more people sailing in the same boat..What helped me was my super supportive dh and all the family. They helped me to keep sane and move through. After failed rounds IUIs and IVFs with own eggs we turned to donor eggs. (as no other option, like mitochondrial donation was available then) and finally got luck with them..I've got some mixed feelings right now. This is because our clinic has recently introduced this mitochondria replacement therapy. It allows to use own eggs if you're in forties or/and with low AMH. The point is that they support own egg by placing active healthy mitochondria into it (it's taken from the donor's egg). All this makes own egg more energized and ready for the future fertilization. And now this dilemma is going on in my head - What if I could use own egg instead of donor egg?! What if I could to have genetically related to me kid?! I know this sounds selfish. We've been lucky and I should be 100% thankful for this. But this inner struggle confuses me..and all those ''what ifs?''..
You should take as much time as needed for you to heal well. Try to make your thought at peace first before moving onto another shot.
Did your dr tell you what was the possible reason for mc? Did he want you to pass more tests? Does he feel ok with your own eggs? How do you feel about staff at all? Do you trust and feel comfy with them?
Too many questions there might be now. But you shouldn't haste. Make sure the place/doctors/lab you're putting all your hopes in IS worthy.
Sending all my positive thoughts and strong warm hugs to you. Stay strong and take good care.
Tarabb677 wrote:
I'm so sorry to hear this, honey. This always pains to put all your strength into struggling and end up with loss. Hoping time will heal your wounds. I'm wishing you all luck in the world with your final IVF shot. I'm not here to advice or smth. Everyone's path is so much individual. So probably you'll need your dr as the only adviser here. From my own experience I know what an emotional and physical rollercoaster IVF might be. So it's very important you feel safe with the place you're in. This didn't happen to me at clinic#1 and #2. So we switched for overseas one. Also we opted for donor eggs as mine were of no use. The most difficult decision ever! I look back and am terrified how strong we all were! I'm amazed at how much the person's heart can endure! I've never imagined myself in those shoes - and here we are, it happened. So we had to go somehow through. I'd really love to hear some of the updates from you soon. At least saying you feel much better. Emotional health is also one of the priorities.

This journey can really grind one down. One should never be sorry for needing to get things off one's chest - Much worse bottling up! We've been through egg donation too. We used a reproductive clinic in Kiev. what about you?Anyway, that's great you found more relief with your new clinic than the previous one..So many terrifying stories are there on the internet about fertility centers! Some write they were literally robbed, because docs wanted them through unnecessary treatments. Others say things differed much for them after signing up the contracts. that is the set of services doesn't correspond the reality. Yet others experienced clinic wanted to loom out money from them, though THEIR lab team didn't work out properly. (When for example the lab spills the embryos on the floor and then makes you to pay for this!) All this is truly frustrating. I'm happy we experienced the process completely vice versa at bio tex com clinic. This was our clinic#2 just like in your case. After failed rounds IUIs and IVFs with own eggs we both lost trust in them, so switched. Our new clinic told us egg donation was going to be our plan B. It was a year ago. Since then I'm a day-two from delivery wub Moreover I'm sure when time comes we'll come back here again. Needless to say the place is investing much into new researches and treatment plans. They've recently introduced the unique method. It's called donation of mitochondria. Have you heard anything about it? In brief, they take some active healthy mitochondria from the donor's egg. Then they place them back to your won egg. This supplies own egg with more energy needed for the fertilization and perfect embryo growth. Though this is possible only if own egg is not genetically damaged. So this method is said to be the one for ladies in their forties with/or low AMH levels. What's important is that using this method you keep the genetic relation to the kid. Because mitochondia's DNA is not the same as the genome's DNA. It doesn't affect baby's DNA, but mitochondria only supplies your egg with vital energy. I believe if we can we'll try it out some day.
Share your experience with the clinic you've been with, please. Cons if any?
Hope this message finds you well.
I know this pain. I know how it is to have no possibility to give birth to a child without med help. We were trying to conceive naturally for two years. This doesn’t seem we haven’t done any tests. We simply hoped to the last moment. Finally, the desired pregnancy didn’t occur. We felt disappointed and embarrassed. That was not the way we planned the things to go. After visiting two clinics we made our choice in favor of IVF procedure. Of course, we could try less invasive treatment options before attempting IVF - intrauterine insemination or using fertility drugs. And actually we tried the last one, just to make sure. It is done to increase production of eggs. That wasn’t the best episode of the treatment. As a result my ovaries became swallen and painful. I couldn’t get rid of abdominal pain, vomiting and diarrhea for several weeks. But all those things became unimportant when at last we were announced to be parents in nine months! How do your stories continue??
Tarabb677 wrote:
I'm so sorry to hear this, honey. This always pains to put all your strength into struggling and end up with loss. Hoping time will heal your wounds. I'm wishing you all luck in the world with your final IVF shot. I'm not here to advice or smth. Everyone's path is so much individual. So probably you'll need your dr as the only adviser here. From my own experience I know what an emotional and physical rollercoaster IVF might be. So it's very important you feel safe with the place you're in. This didn't happen to me at clinic#1 and #2. So we switched for overseas one. Also we opted for donor eggs as mine were of no use. The most difficult decision ever! I look back and am terrified how strong we all were! I'm amazed at how much the person's heart can endure! I've never imagined myself in those shoes - and here we are, it happened. So we had to go somehow through. I'd really love to hear some of the updates from you soon. At least saying you feel much better. Emotional health is also one of the priorities.

Yes, dealing with the process demands strong nerves and patience. We’re so have to have our sweethearts to support us. As for me, I can’t imagine how I might cope without my husband’s soothing. So, coming back to what happened next. We were assured to try IUI first, and we followed the advice. It took us some time to get prepared for it and everything passed quite well. Everybody was satisfied and willing to state the success. Again – failure. Yet another disappointment. We spent some time thinking about other options. Finally, after weighing all pros and cons we made a conclusion that the procedure of harvesting and fertilizing eggs via IVF could be a win-win option. But when they told us about the risks each step of IVF cycle carries we were shocked! We didn’t know it was so complicated! The procedure itself increases the risk of multiple births. There is still the fact of miscarriage and it’s the same as for women who conceive naturally. Also ectopic pregnancy and possible birth defects. Were you told about it before passing IVF??
Sign in to follow this topic