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Long Term TTC/Fertility treatment Rss

Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to get pregnant and I'm just wondering if anyone feels/has felt the way I'm starting to feel about "long term" TTC and having to have fertility treatment... Have you ever "stopped trying" for a while, and if so, how did you cope/did it make things easier to deal with for a while? How do/did you cope with long term TTC?

Even though my DH works away half the time, we never really considered it would have any impact on how long it would take us to conceive, as we're technically "in our prime" (I'm now 24, my DH is 27)

It's been 13 months off the pill for me, and things never went back to the way the were when I wasn't on the pill, IYKWIM, but by the time we moved and I talked to my new GP, he just blew me off saying if I was having regular-ish periods, our age, and DH away, there was nothing to worry about and we could expect it to take maybe 2 years before we got pregnant without intervention. In 13 months we've been together at the right time 6 times, so technically only been trying for 6 months.

Finding out that I don't ovulate properly even though I have normal hormone levels, DH has good counts, and I have "regular" periods, and having symptoms of endometriosis was just a kick in the guts. And with missing out on this first Clomid cycle, plus my DH's tour dates going all over the place over the next 3-4 months, I'm just getting really disheartened. I have to take the pill to line us back up again for when DH is home in November, but then if we miss that too, his next two tours home won't match either, and I can't keep taking the pill to move my cycle, I might as well wait until his tours are where they're supposed to be..

I've got to the point now, where if we miss out in November, I just don't want to try for a while. Because the FS thinks I may have endo, I've had a referral accepted by Gyno at the Hospital to see a Consultant about having a laprascopy done, to investigate and clear anything in there or have a flush anyway. The FS wants to move to Clomid + IUI after having that done. But I can't imagine not trying, and whether it will make my stress worse, as I know it's really starting to stress me out, especially as I have to travel for parts of my fertility treatment on short notice (3 hours there for scans).

On top of all that, I have been unemployed since Feb, and if we have to move to IUI, it get's more expensive, esp if we use frozen sperm every other month, and right now, we have no way of funding that, we can only pay for the monitored Clomid cycles coz it's every other month.

I'm just feeling so over the monthly reminder that I'm not going to be a Mum for at least another 9 months, and I have no-one IRL who has any idea of what I'm going through..



Sorry your going through this hun. I havent been through all of this personally but have a friend that has. The had been trying for 3 years and finally got preg with IUI and then had a miscarriage. After almost another 3 years trying they decided to take a break for atleast 6 months to focus on other things besides the constant battle of TTC. They went on holiday to some some island for a week and a half and relaxed alot. Then she found out she was preg a few weeks after coming back. They now have a gorgeous 18 month old boy. After 6 years of trying they finally got their baby. Her doc said that stress can affect conceiving. So i know its hard but try to relax a bit and not to stress too much. Easier said than done right. Sending you positivd baby making vibes and lots of hugs. wub





I can't imagine trying for 6 years.. Even 3 would be heartbreaking.. I'm glad it worked out well for your friends in the end smile

Yea not stressing is definitely easier said than done, and not trying to a horrible concept too, for me I can't imagine it being less stressful, esp as we get half the chances most others get. I feel like it would be a bit easier if I had a job, instead of being home all the time where I have all the time in the world to dwell on it. But then even getting a job here atm is stressful and difficult!

Becaful i hear you loud and clear!

We are really lucky as we have got a beautiful daughter but have also lost 2 babys before 7 weeks in the past 7 years. We have been ttc on and off since our DD was 1, she is now almost 5 and a half. The latest round of ttc will be 2 years in Jan!

My DH works away as well but random shifts, some weeks he will be away for up to 3 weeks other weeks he works in our home town. We used to follow him around the country when DD was young but now school and work make it too hard.

I have honestly nearly lost the plot with all the stresses of ttc, after the last miscarrage, I got quite depressed and have only really now starting to get past it. I keep saying that i want to give up ttc but my heart aches for another baby and I just cant give up yet.

If you want to pm me so you can privately moan, feel free too as I know how hard it is to keep silent about being so stressed.

I really hope your time comes soon xoxo



Hey hun, you know from the TTC that it was a long journey for me and DH too. We are also only 24 and expected things would happen quickly but it took 12 months of active fertility treatment and back to back cycles to finally get pregnant and we're not out of the woods yet. We were reluctant to do an IUI cycle because it felt so much more "unnatural" but after time, we realised that sex for us was never natural or enjoyable anymore. I work shifts and we have a 2 yr old, so finding the right opportunity was a challenge almost every month, so it was never spontaneous, more of a forced event to try and get pregnant. Doing IUI was actually far less stressful for us as we didn't have to wonder if we'd done it the right day, didn't have to "plan" it and instead we continued to just have sex as we wanted around that time - so we'll never know if this baby was conceived through IUI or naturally, but I was more relaxed knowing that we hadn't missed the boat. Yes, it's very expensive but doing months and months of hormones treatments and ultrasounds etc also becomes costly and if IUI does not work for you, you would rather know sooner than later if you need further assistance like IVF. All the things you are thinking and feeling are normal, and 13 months is a long long time when you desperately want to be pregnant and have a baby. You're welcome to PM me if you need some moral support or have questions and good luck for your next cycle




Follow my blog "Bed Rest for Baby" at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com

Blessedwithone wrote:
Becaful i hear you loud and clear!

We are really lucky as we have got a beautiful daughter but have also lost 2 babys before 7 weeks in the past 7 years. We have been ttc on and off since our DD was 1, she is now almost 5 and a half. The latest round of ttc will be 2 years in Jan!

My DH works away as well but random shifts, some weeks he will be away for up to 3 weeks other weeks he works in our home town. We used to follow him around the country when DD was young but now school and work make it too hard.

Big hugs I've got everything crossed for you too hun xx
I have honestly nearly lost the plot with all the stresses of ttc, after the last miscarrage, I got quite depressed and have only really now starting to get past it. I keep saying that i want to give up ttc but my heart aches for another baby and I just cant give up yet.

If you want to pm me so you can privately moan, feel free too as I know how hard it is to keep silent about being so stressed.

I really hope your time comes soon xoxo




Follow my blog "Bed Rest for Baby" at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com

I know exactly how your feeling we have been TTC for 2 and 1/2 years now for #1 and it's hard. I have been on fertility treatment for 1 year already and had 1 MC in that time. It's hard when people around you are pregnant or have babies, i struggle everyday with TTC and it doesn't go out of your thoughts ever,

Just keep thinking that it will happen but our babies are just been stubborn already and don't want to show there little faces yet. But once they do they will be amazing.

On top of everything i was made redundant last year and have been off work for 1 year now and i just try and keep myself busy. I started my own homemade candle business from home so that is keeping me busy.

Stay positive we are all here for you.
Blessedwithone - The working away really makes it hard, ae. I'm grateful my DH's tours are evenly scheduled (for the most part, getting a new job position in the rotation and a friends wedding puts our dates out of whack from now for a bit until he settles into where he's meant to be roster wise), but I still hate that we "waste" every other month. Sometimes I really feel like our lack of "constant exposure" of continuous cycles/TTC is part of the problem, especially if I don't ovulate regularly anyway. Did you need fertility treatment for your DD? TTC stresses me enough without suffering a loss, so I really feel for you. I really appreciate your words x

Skubala - It's good to hear positive experience with the IUI, I am like you were, really worried about the "unnatural" part of it.. When I had my appt with the FS, I had asked if we could do OI only when DH is home, then OI + IUI when he's away, but from what you've said, maybe if we could afford it, IUI the whole way would be better. I do know that fresh IUI has better success than from frozen. I certainly know about the lack of enjoyable sex.. This cycle just gone was so difficult having to DTD 5 nights in a row. I'm just so over not being able to have sex however we want whenever we want, without worrying about killing sperm, not having enough, the right time.. blah blah blah.. I will certainly PM you with any questions if we head down that track! It also really concerns me for additional kids.. we had dreamed for 3-4, but now I think it will just be 1-2 for us. I couldn't bare to go through this once, iI think twice would be my limit if it didn't happen naturally quickly. So much kudos to you for your perseverance..

Lana_J - I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks about TTC every day! I honestly have no idea how to turn it off, it's all I have ever wanted. It's a bit compounded by the fact my SIL had an unplanned pregnancy, and my other SIL is pregnant. The pregnant SIL took around a year, but she is in her early 30's and needed no treatment - but she's not really the type of person you could talk to about even if I wanted to, she's quite private and reserved about things like that I feel. A few of my friends have kids, who i am very close with and it's just everywhere. Even today the lady at the quilt shop asked if I had kids after I said i'd been making baby quilts.. I said no, she says "Well you're married, you're halfway there!" If only she knew sad I nearly cried. I like the stubborn baby thought, definitely means they'll be like me, hah. I'm glad your home business keeps you busy! I quilt, so it passes the time, but spends more money much to my DH disgust sometimes lol. And I'm so sorry for your loss, I can imagine it only adds to the TTC pain, especially when you don't have a child at all. I hope your baby comes soon too x

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it really means a lot xx

I hate when people ask if you have kids when you are out and about, it does make it harder. I would have had a 2 week old baby now and each day that passes hurts.

There are people out there that are not compassionate or don't know how to be. I get comments all the time from not just friends but family to saying. Don't think about it and it will happen, don't stress oh easy for them to say. Not to mention the doctors saying i have unexplained infertility. I just want to say well explain it then, then i would understand what is happening.

I go to IVF in January if nothing has happened, hoping not to though the cost is crazy. We are only 28 so we should find it easy to fall pregnant but it doesn't seem to happen like that.

i wish you so much luck we all deserve to have what others only explain as the best things in there lives.
Hi ladies I do know how hard the long term TTC is, we had given up when I finally fell pregnant as before fertility treatment that the doctor reckoned we needed I had to loose some weight. So I was supposedly not ovulating and DH has a low sperm count
It is hard every day no to think about it but I had come to the conclusion that it wasn't going to happen for us naturally, luckily it did but I think the fact that I wasn't putting the pressure on myself helped my stress levels.
I hope I see all you ladies get some good news in the near future it is a hard road when I don't think it sould be.
Best wishes to you all xx


Yes, my mum says "oh just stop trying, are you making sure you're ovulating, have sex like rabbits" Yes mum, I know how they're made, and how do you stop trying when you barely get a chance anyway? One lady said to me as I talked to a workmate my age who is pregnant "Oh I'm so lucky I didn't have any problems" I was like WTF? Why would you even say that?

One person I know had a MC after getting pregnant after 6months, (at around 33) then took 7 years to get pregnant with her little boy.. I don't know how she did it.. Another friend who's the same age now (43) has had 3 MC and never had a baby, and I know how much she wants to be a Mum. I just can't imagine going that long or having to "give up" on being a parent..

While it seems our journey is harder, I can only imagine our victories will be a bit sweeter. I hope you don't have to move to IVF, Clomid is bad enough sad

Kumeroa good to see you, I can't believe you're 24 weeks already! it's flying by. I definitely think I need to take some of the pressure off myself and just accept/come to terms with the fact that this time around we need a bit of help. It's definitely hard when Dr's say things that aren't helpful to the cause. I think it's time you updated your bump pic too, isn't it? Thanks for the wishes, I'm so glad you got your turn smile

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