15 months TTC and counting

Anyone else out there been on the TTC road for WAY too long?

Would love to hear from you, or from anyone who's been there done that!

I'm past the breaking down into tears each month, and moving on into the 'lost all hope' phase ha ha.

This sucks!

Yeh, I have 'slight' PCOS but O on my own each month still with a 36 day cycle (and don't really have other symptoms). Hubby tested ok. Did clomid for 3 months, and it worked but still no bubba for us. Doc wanted me to continue clomid and go for HSG, but I feel like a just need a break and go it natural.

I have a 7 year old, so this is secondary.

I see you have PCOS too - are you on Clomid?

Have you seen a specialist? I'm assuming you chart BBT each month?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time!!

Rosie Mumma wrote:
Have you seen a specialist? I'm assuming you chart BBT each month?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time!!

Thanks - yeh I saw a specialist last month who mentioned IVF, IUI and all the things I am so not ready to hear yet!! So I've freaked out and we're taking a break and will see them again in the New Year if we need to.

I'm doing acupuncture and charting BBT. I'm young, healthy, active - every thing they say I should be.

Keep thinking it will happen when it's meant to, I've done it before and I can do it agian, not sure whether I'm positive or just thick - ha ha smile

Duckie.M.B wrote:
JLL22 wrote:
Yeh, I have 'slight' PCOS but O on my own each month still with a 36 day cycle (and don't really have other symptoms). Hubby tested ok. Did clomid for 3 months, and it worked but still no bubba for us. Doc wanted me to continue clomid and go for HSG, but I feel like a just need a break and go it natural.

I have a 7 year old, so this is secondary.

I see you have PCOS too - are you on Clomid?

nope no clomid here, we are currently just on the see if my body does anything eventually pathway, (i dont o at all currently, well not in the past 10 months anyway grr) we will love our bubba when they arive, but currently finances are imed at wedding plans etc, so knowing this whilst we are still trying and will be overtheemoon if we do fall, its not 1st prioirity untill after the wedding, if that makes sense.......

well thats our collective decission as a couple, lol the personal decision would have had me on clomid 6 months ago, but we are a couple and do this together...

Good on you - it's great to not let it consume you. That must be hard to not O at all - if/when you do decide to go with Clomid I hope it's your miracle drug.

I was a mess a couple of months ago, but lately have kind of learnt to accept it as I'm not prepared to take drastic measures just yet. So I can't complain about things I'm not yet willing to change. I'm more scared of the drastic measures failing than anything else. Hurts too much.

Yay weddings are a great thing to look forward - how exciting.

Ha ha no not tragic at all. I get excited about positive OPK's too - not that it makes any difference at the end of the month!! - but there is that hope because you've at least had a chance.

Yeh the failure feeling is terrible. I had no idea how hard infertility is, geez. I go from feeling like a failure, to being angry with my body, to being confident in my body all in the space of a day sometimes. Talk about crazy! smile

Acupuncture has really helped me - more to relax, and she really gets what I'm going through and gives me confidence in my body to do what it needs to when it needs to. I leave the doctors feeling hopeless and no better off, but I leave her feeling calm about however long it takes. So for now I'll invest in that and in the feeling good.

Are you doing any natural therapies to help you O? Taking vitamins etc?

not ttc atm but I have experienced the heart break of repeated cycles with negative tests. It took us 15 months to fall pregnant with my DS (probably more like only 10 "cycles" though). We'd actually made the decision to stop ttc after that cycle because I wasn't coping with constantly getting negative results. That month was actually the only time I've ever identified o so that was another factor in deciding we'd stop ttc if it hadn't worked that month.

Before we got married we'd talked about my medical issues and the fact that at 15 I'd been told it would be highly unlikely for me to fall pregnant due to them. We decided then that we wouldn't do any tests or anything medical to fall pregnant, we'd just ttc and accept what happened. The reality of that wasn't quite so easy to deal with when we were ttc#2 though, especially since I fell pregnant with my dd in our first cycle of ttc (admittedly, a "cycle" was 3 months at that time) which had absolutely stunned us.

I love the idea of having another child, and don't feel that our family is complete yet, but I'm just not sure I can go through the heartbreak of extended ttc again. I'm also struggling with PND (was managing it ok when we started to ttc#2 but the constant negative tests really impacted on how I coped with it) so need to get my head in the right space where I'll be able to deal with the probability of repeated negatives before we seriously consider ttc for a third child and even then I'm thinking we'll just ttc for a few cycles, take a break for a bit, ttc again etc just to take off some of the pressure I put on myself when ttc.

Leisa.

Hey Leisa, thanks for posting. I totally understand not feeling ready to do it all over again, because it is something that totally drains you.

It's nice to hear you say you'd decided not to go through tests docs etc... I honestly never thought I would go the natural way, but it just feels right for us. I hear of so many stories about people who went through IVF only to conceive naturally on their own later. If there was a really good medical reason I would obviously deal with it, but I'm starting to believe in the old saying 'whatever will be will be' a lot more.

There doesn't appear to be anything really wrong with us, I've had a baby before, so I hope that it is just a waiting game (although it's a really sucky game smile)

I really hope that when you so decide to go for again it happens quickly! You've done your time I think smile We should never have to go through this twice - it is way too cruel.

Yay - you've given me a bit more hope - thanks!

Hey, sorry to hear what you are going through.

My story:
I was TTC for 2.5 years before my BFP. I thought I had PCOS (thanks Dr. Google), the doctor said "although you have some of the symptoms, I dont think you have PCOS". It wasnt until my 12 week ultrasound that the sonographer said "you have PCOS dont you?". I told her what the doctor said and she said "actually, see here, they are little cysts in your ovaries". So more than likely I had/have undiagnosed PCOS. My cycles were 40 days to 200+ days. I tried 1 round of Clomid which failed, then at then end of that cycle, I had a UTI and the doctor suggested I take a break while on the antibiotics just in case. So the next cycle without any Clomid I waited and waited for CD 36 (when the doctor suggested to take the provera to start AF), but then I gave myself until CD 39 to try and get AF by itself. I took a pregnancy test of CD 39 and it was negative. So I started taking the provera, waited for my period which didnt come. I took a pregnancy test and low and behold it was positive. At my dating scan, I found out I ovulated on CD 39. The doctor who prescribed the Clomid, his instructions were to DTD on CD 14... I knew people ovulated at different times and ignored that part of the instructions, but I really didnt think I could ovulate THAT late in the cycle. I had also given up at the time on the cycle and was waiting for AF. I was actually looking forward to the next cycle and starting Clomid again.

During my TTC journey, I have seen people on huggies, TTC, fall pregnant, have their baby, then TTC for #2 and fall pregnant again. Its really hard to watch really. I always hoped I would get pregnant, but I thought Id be one of those people who couldnt get pregnant, or tried for years and years and then gave up. Now that I am pregnant, I think I am still in shock (at 33 weeks!) and most of the time I say to myself "I cant believe I am pregnant, I cant believe there is a baby in there".

My advice:
All I can say is that every time I failed, I let myself grieve and then I looked forward to the next cycle (mind you this was quite hard with long cycles). If you put the focus on the next cycle, rather than the failure, you have something to focus on and look forward to. Well thats what I found anyway.

I really believe it was just pure luck and perhaps the Clomid in the other cycle stimulated something in my body.

You will get there, you just need to keep plodding along. Others have tried herbs and swear by acupuncture but thats not for me, but it may be for you?

I wish you all the best.

~*~ Baby Dust ~*~

I hear ya! If I didn't have my ticker I would have lost count by now, its been WAY too long. When I was pregnant with my DS a friend of mine was also. She has now had 2 more kids in the time that i've been TTC sad

I've been trying the "natural" thing for this entire time, Starting clomid in a month when i've finished my Provera.

Baby dust to all of you stll TTC xo

Thanks Loveheart, I love to hear success stories. I have to be honest as I wait for AF to arrive (CD37) my natural approach seems less attractive and I'm eyeing up the clomid smile - so who knows what I'll do. Clomid shortens my cycles but that's about the only advantage as I already O on my own. My husband was glad to hear your story too smile

TJK Mum, I hope clomid works for you! Two and half years is way too long - it has to be your turn next surely.

I hate to hear that others are struggling too, but it does make me feel a little less lost in all this.

Thanks again

Hiya,

I know exactly how you're feeling. It took us 2 years to fall pregnant... I've also got PCOS and my cycle was about 35 days. I didn't go the route of Clomid, but my doctor did put me on Metformin, as PCOS and insulin resistance have some sort of relationship. I was taking that for nearly a year plus all sorts of herbal things that I got from Nichola John's Pharmacy in GI.

Eventually, like you, I couldn't take the monthly disappointment and we decided to stop for a while. My sister-in-law was moving in with us and it was all a bit too painful. Once we (I) came to terms with it possibly not happening... we actually did the deed because we wanted to and felt like it, not because my temperature and computer programme told me we had to! Then it happened. I'd HATE it when people would tell me "Just relax and it will happen." Easy for them to say, so that's the LAST thing I'll say to you!

Allow yourself time to grieve, sob, sniffle, grumble and cry. It does help. Lean on your friends - you'll be surprised at how many women you know that have gone through this. My doc also told me that it takes a lot of women up to 2 years to conceive. Roughly 70% fall pregnant in the first 3 months, they try, another 15% in the next year and another 15% take another year.

Sending you hugs and baby dust... you're not alone.

xox