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Recovery after caesar Rss

Hi ladies

Some advice needed smile

I'm booked for my Caesar on the 7th March my family and DHs family live interstate we were in debate whether to tell them the date because if i wasn't booked no one would know anyway, but in the end my husband wanted to tell them so we have & now they all arrive into town the day after the caesar.

I've requested I don't want them to visit the day they all arrive and that I would just like have a day to recover & time with my new baby and DH. My mother is fine with this but MIL seems to think it's all about her & can't seem to understand why I don't want a barrage of visitors the second they all arrive.

She has after a few days agreed and has said she would let me have a day to recover but now I'm now getting pressure already about what time should she come the following day! Originally she wasn't coming for 6-8 weeks which is what DH & I had discussed with her originally and she was fine with that but then she just booked a flight last week & told us she was coming without asking & without respecting our previous wishes.

She stresses me out with really silly comments all the time every time she visits I wind up feeling stressed out this is why I don't want her around. My sister in law feels the same and with her baby they didn't visit for 2 months and respected their wishes - I feel bad for my DH as obviously it's important for her to be here for him. I can't change the situation now she's coming but just wondered if anyone has any advice & how were your experiences with hospital visitors and your recovery and when did you feel comfortable after the Caesar and feel up to seeing people??
I personally had visitors the same day as my c sect. They pump you full of pain killers you aren't really in any discomfort.
Unfortunately people can kind of come and go as they please in my hospital. However you can ask the midwives to put a sign on your door that says mum sleeping please come back later or something.

With your MIL your DH will have to take charge of the situation, You'll have other things to think about. Let him know he will be being your 'bouncer'. I would tell MIL that he will call her on the morning that you are having visitors and let her know when she can come. Tell her the reason is you don't know what kind of care etc you will be needing throughout the day (Catheter removal, showers etc) so you don't know when you will be wanting to see people. She would have to be pretty disrespectful to come to the hospital against your wishes, in which case I would be kindly asking her to leave until I felt ready to see people.

They wont have your room number until you are ready to tell them. You can ask staff at reception not to give it out.
I had visitors straight after caesar, well just my parents (was born at night) and then dp's family in the morning and found no problems at all (even though they're horrifically annoying too smile just get midwife/nurses to put mum sleeping on the door when you feel like you need a break
I was comfortable having people visit the day after my c-section, once I had had a chance to get up and around my room on my own. I didn't tell anyone my dates (wouldn't of mattered seeing as how I went into labour early) just so I didn't have a host of people hanging around straight after my surgery.



I didn't want anyone waiting on me (I intended having a water birth).

My mum and sister came to house when I went to hospital to stay with dogs.

Finished up with emergency c- section 7:30pm. Hubby barely had time to ring my mum and tell her. My mum and sister came following day and hubby's mum and sister the day after that (went home later that evening).

If I (we) ever have another one, same rules will apply. NO ONE at hospital until after the birth. smile
I would just let everyone know that you will see how you are feeling after surgery, and tell them your DH will ring them 'when the midwives say you can see people' wink

I had my elective c section at about 8am, and i was in no state to see anyone during the day. My hubby stayed with me and bubs and the day was a complete blur.

Both my family and the inlaws all came to visit that night and i really regret letting it happen. I was full of painkillers, still had a drip, catheter and epidural in and was like a zombie. I don't remember much and it upsets me when i think back, I don't remember anyone meeting our dd for the first time, and people keep showing me photos they took of everyone passing her around(and putting them on facebook etc) and i have no memory of it...very sad sad

I have told hubby that it will be very different next time. I know it doesn't seem fair but i only want my parents to visit that first night, and everyone else when I am feeling up to it.

But you never know, you might be feeling fantastic after your surgery (i hope you are!), and may change your mind...take it as it comes and make your decisions as you go smile

This is such a special time for you, hubby and bubs, you can't get that time back, so spend it the way you want/planned smile

All the best smile
I had my C section at about 2pm, and my parents visited a couple of hours after. DH's father & partner visited the next night.
I think it's totally dependent on the type of people. I couldn't wait for my parents to visit. My mum is so helpful and knows when to leave and what to do to help. Dad's pretty placid and laid back so easy to have around in that situation.
DH's father and his partner are another story. FIL's partner talked at the top of her lungs, tipped the crib up, and they wouldn't leave. The spinal block had worn off by that stage and I had started to feel really uncomfortable and just totally overwhelmed by them. I also had BF difficulties and DD was due a feed and I felt like I couldn't ask them to leave. Our best friends drove 2 hours to see us the same day (the day after I had DD) and DH's father and partner wouldn't get the hint that it was time to leave and our friends could tell I was feeling a bit overwhelmed so they left instead. After their visit they rang us constantly over the next few days and when we stopped answering, they then rang my mum to say they were worried because they thought I seemed depressed when they visited.... I wasn't depressed, I was in pain and hoping they would freaking leave! They continued to hassle us constantly when we got home, wanting to come over all the time - even though we live 5 minutes from them and they have never shown any interest in seeing us much before DD came along.

I must say, I thought I would want anyone and everyone to visit, and I did kind of, but with trying to get feeding established, not being able to move much and having small hospital rooms, I felt totally overwhelmed by people in general (other than some special visitors that walked in and I had that "thank god" feeling wash over me).
I recovered really well from the c-section, but you do feel pretty tender and won't be getting around real easy for the first few days.
If I was you I'd lie and tell her the c-section has been pushed back a day to buy yourself a little more time!

I had my C section at about 2pm, and my parents visited a couple of hours after. DH's father & partner visited the next night.
I think it's totally dependent on the type of people. I couldn't wait for my parents to visit. My mum is so helpful and knows when to leave and what to do to help. Dad's pretty placid and laid back so easy to have around in that situation.
DH's father and his partner are another story. FIL's partner talked at the top of her lungs, tipped the crib up, and they wouldn't leave. The spinal block had worn off by that stage and I was started to feel really uncomfortable and just totally overwhelmed by them. I also had BF difficulties and DD was due a feed and I felt like I couldn't ask them to leave. Our best friends drove 2 hours to see the same day (the day after I had DD) and DH's father and partner wouldn't get the hint that it was time to leave. Then they rang us constantly over the next few days and when we stopped answering, they then rang my mum to say they were worried because they thought I seemed depressed when they visited.... I wasn't depressed, I was in pain and hoping they would freaking leave! They continued to hassle us constantly when we got home, wanting to come over all the time - even though we live 5 minutes from them and they have never shown any interest in seeing us much before DD came along.

I must say, I thought I would want anyone and everyone to visit, and I did kind of, but with trying to get feeding established, not being able to move much and having small hospital rooms, I felt totally overwhelmed by people in general (other than some special visitors that walked in and I had that "thank god" feeling wash over me).
I recovered really well from the c-section, but you do feel pretty tender and won't be getting around real easy for the first few days.
If I was you I'd lie and tell her the c-section has been pushed back a day to buy yourself a little more time!


Spot on!...I couldn't have worded it better smile
For all 3 of our births, my husband and I agreed the same thing. We had no visitors at all for the first 24 hours... We wanted to share this very special time together being with our newborn. It is just the most amazing thing ever and we wanted to enjoy every second of it without feeling pressured from anyone. We then allowed the grandparents to come up and then the next day after that we had our closest friends. We know everyone was bursting to meet out new baby/ies, but they all respected our wishes.

When we had baby 2 and (also 3), our 24 hour rule was still there... but what we did was, DH went and picked up the toddler and brought him up to meet the baby first in the morning. Grandparents were then allowed to come up after the rest time in the afternoon. Our kids are close in age
16 month between the first 2 and the 3rd is 22 months after that and they thought it was very special to be the first ones to meet their new sibling and spend time getting to know them... we also enjoyed that they got to do that with out the interuptions that extra visitors bring.

anita

DD was an emergency c/s at 6.30pm. My parents and brother and DH's parents and sister came up that night to meet her. Yes I was a bit drugged up, but it didn't bother me. I actually felt a million times worse the next day, the pethidine and morphine really messed me up and I have very hazy memories of who visited/called on day two.

DS was a planned c/s at 9.30am. I was back in my room by 10am feeling really good. DH went and got DD late after she'd had her nap (she was with my parents), then my parents and brother and DH's parents, sister and her DH can up at 6.30pm that night (MIL was actually easier to ignore the 1st time when I was all drugged up, lol!). We had our two best friends come the next day and everyone else came on day 3 and 4 and when we were home.
I have had two ceasars. The most disappointing thing after my first ceaser was that, I was held up in recovery and everyone else go to hold my Baby before I did. Both my parents and my parents in law all got to hold the baby first.

When you have had the Baby, tell the Midwives your MIL is not supportive and request you will only have visitors when you are ready. You may be happy to have visitors within a couple of hours, or u may not.

Just because they have traveled and came to see you, doesn't mean you are up for visitors. U have already advised your wished, and bullying u is not going to work.

Good luck.
i had an emergency cesear first time round, and as i was getting wheeled out of recovery room, i saw my Mil waiting. i was furiuos in the inside, however, i was so excited and proud of my new arrival baby girl, that nothing was going to ruin it. what i am saying is maybe tell them that you don't want visits till the following day, but if by some reason they suprise you, just think about how happy your bub will make you feel, and no one can take that away from you.

goodluck smile
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