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'Elective' Caesarean Lock Rss

My son is now 4.5 months old and i have been judged from the word go. Today i snapped.
I was induced, laboured for 9 hours, my sons heartrate dropped and i was taken in for an emergency caesar. I was also only about 1cm dilated. What did they expect me to do? Continue with labour and lose my son or consent to the caesar? To me it wasn't a question!
I had someone tell me that i didn't give birth to him, another say she is electing to have a caesar for her next one because it is soooo much easier than a natural.
Deep down i am a little cut up that i may never experience the "natural" childbirth but it really does all end in the same result. Stuff what everyone says, their judgement and smartarse remarks. Sure i dreamt of my ideal labour and birth experience but i gave that all up for my son just like any real mother would!
Hi there,

I too had an emergency ceaser with my first due to an extended labour and sever fatigue which resulted into me going into shock. I too felt I had 'Missed out' on experiencing a natural birth and felt judged by other mothers. I was then cautioned to consider not having any more children due to internal damage. 2 years later I had my second child. I was booked in for an 'elective' ceaser. I ended up having my baby daughter naturally though ended up in surgery for two hours due to internal damage. I have experienced both ways and I tell you what I barely remember anything about them other then overwhelming feeling of love when my baby was placed into my arms. How your baby comes into the world does not define what kind of mother you are... It is what you do after that moment and for the rest of your life that defines you. Whether ceaser or natural Your an amazing mother for creating a beautiful little human life.
You did the right thing for you and your baby!

I have only ever had vaginal deliveries myself, so I cant speak from experience on a section.. my sister had a section as her second son was breach and to be honest I dont know how women think you got out of it easy? She couldn't drive for ages, needed help at home because of the staples and had to have physio for sometime after due to separation of her stomach muscles.

At the end of the day the way your child came into the world doesnt matter and I would'nt let others upset you. They probably would've chosen the same outcome as you in your position!
When you look at your child and that of a woman that had a vd can you tell the difference? You had a healthy child and that's all that counts.

I had a vaginal delivery and was very lucky, but as longs as she came out safely I was at peace with however she had to be born.

My SIL had elective CC because she was scared of pain. Initially I was very judgemental, but she actually was having to take anxiety medication during pregnancy to deal with her fears and was seeing a psychologist. Her little girls are perfect and I don't see how they were delivered is relevant to how they are now.

'Elective' should be a term used for those who consider themselves 'too posh to push'. 'Medically Necessary' should be the term used.

Sorry this is so long, despite me editing it!

I can understand the frustration over treatment from elective caesareans. My first was elective due to her being a transverse breech. This was after a pregnancy where she was also suffering from IUGR. When I was on the table it was discovered that I have a bicornuate uterus, which, being my first pregnancy, apparently explained her size and her position. Despite this, I was still judged negatively. While in hospital I had a very rude med student ask me why I had a planned caesarean. When I told her why, and that it was strongly recommended by the OB due to the high potential of both maternal death and still birth if I went into labour the response I got was her rolling her eyes, shaking her head, and snorting as she walked away.
With my next I went to a far better hospital, and was originally with the VBAC mothers. However, when the VBAC specialist heard that I had a bicornuate he also told me that he would never recommend natural to me due to the risk of the scar splitting - planned caesarean is far safer than emergency.

To make matters worse I 'failed' at breastfeeding as well. With my first I tried hand expressing due to the difficulties. I discovered blood mixed with the milk - which I have only recently found out is perfectly normal - and the midwife said "Ew, I didn't need to know that. I guess you're just going to have to formula feed then". With my 2nd I went to classes, and got the attachment right, but when I felt intense pain I was told again to just start formula feeding - I believed the midwives when they said there should be no pain. I know now that that was wrong too, but that's thanks to my new GP and my improved research skills!

As for it being easier - no, it's not. The average labour won't be allowed to progress beyond 28hrs (I know there's exceptions). So that's 28hrs of pain, followed by a lifetime of sympathy and approval by pretty much all of society, not to mention the lack of risk with future pregnancies and childbirth. Washing yourself becomes very painful if you do not have a waterproof cover, which I was not given for my 2nd - I got so angry at the natural birth mothers who complained of the stinging from soap on their small amount of stitches!!

For both of my girls I was also given beds which had less room available than the others surrounding, as well as sinks. This led to not only having mothers and staff constantly disturbing me at all hours to use the sink, but also to me having a great deal of difficulty moving due to lack of space - I couldn't even fit one chair next to my bed with the curtains shut, despite my bag being under my bed! I know I'm only petite, but still!

With a caesarean though, emergency or planned, there's technically more than 6 weeks recovery.I think my GP said it's the lymph glands, but anyway, there's something that is sliced open that has to heal to allow the proper flow of fluid. There's also the risks associated with future pregnacies/childbirth, which increases each time you have one. This is all in addition to the fact that the glands that produce breastmilk are supposedly stimulated by hormones released during labour, which can lead to a delay in the production of breastmilk. So, first we are judged for not pushing, then we are judged for not breastfeeding!

I have also heard of some mothers who experience pain in their scars permanently, or at certain times. I'll admit, I'm starting to feel some tenderness now, but I have been very fortunate with this so far.

The stigma is far worse for those of us who have had planned. Those who have had emergency are still viewed by most as at least having tried - those of us who didn't are the "too posh to push". But that is based solely on my own experience, and I am sure there are some idiots out there who still don't view even that as good enough. But seriously, there are valid reasons why less women die in childbirth now than even a century ago!!! In fact, caesareans originally only occurred if it was evident that maternal death would occur but there was a possibility of saving the baby - we've come a long way!

Personally I feel there is not only a lack of support, but also a lack of information offered to mothers who must go down this path. We should not have to research this stuff ourselves. If our taxes are not paying for these professionals to use their expertise to inform us of everything that could happen to us, then what is it covering? And the changes regarding the stigma of cildbirth really needs to also start in the hospitals and the uni's. There's too many who work in hospitals who are prepared to propel this stigma - I believe most people in society see this as evidence to support their negative beliefs.

I'm now 20 wks pregnant with my 3rd, and as was expected, my uterus has finally stretched enough to have allowed him to grow properly - so far. I'm not considering VBAC this time. The risks for me are far greater, and I have no right to risk my children losing their mother just because of narrow minded fools. To choose a caesarean for non-medical or non-psychological (not including snobbery) reasons is an unneccesarily dangerous decision to make. But to choose it for medical or psychological reasons based on advice from medical professionals is a very responsible thing that takes courage and should be praised - regardless of it being planned or emergency.
I have had both my children naturally so I feel I am lucky however my sister has had to have all 3 of hers by caesarean as she has a small pelvis that won't allow her to give birth naturally and if she did she risks brain damage to her babies. Based on what I have seen her go through in no way is a caesarean the easy option. At least when I had my babies I could walk and have a shower afterwards and care for my baby even with the stitches. I believe if there is a medical reason for a caesarean in no way should you feel you failed at all your road to recovery afterwards was a lot harder than mine so don't listen to the people that want to judge you they obviously have no clue.

I had an emergency caesarean with my DD and I am booked in for an elective caesarean in 4 weeks time. Both my GP Ob and my Ob Surgeon are supportive of my decision and believe I am doing the right and best thing for myself and my child. The midwives are a bit pushier about a VBAC, but I have made up my mind and it is an informed decision.

I don't believe I "missed out" by having a CS with DD, we are both alive and healthy because of it. I am fully aware that a CS is no walk in the park, but there are also risks with a VBAC and if I were to try I could well end up in exactly the same predicament again. I am not ashamed of my decision "not to push", and whilst I haven't come up against any negativity (aside from the midwives)in regards to my choice, I couldn't give a flying fig what anyone else thinks anyway! My baby, my body, my choice!
Im having an 'elective ceaser' soon due to having had surgery, also turns out my baby is breech so even if I planned to have a natural birth, bub has other ideas!
I dont understand why people are so focussed on natural births, People should be more focused on having a healthy baby, and if this means having a ceaser then so be it! Your OB is the expert here not them!
People can have their opinions but in the end who is the one having the baby? not them! Some people are just to ignorant and set in their ways to understand.

Good luck with everything! Your still giving birth to your beautiful baby, just doing it the safest way for you smile
I've had 2 c'sections and i have two very beautiful girls as a result!. My first was an emergency after 16 hours of labour, my baby going into distress and her heart rate dropping and me going into shock. As I am of small structure and bub had a rather big head she was stuck and going no where fast. If it wasn't for the c'section my daughter and possibly myself might not be here today.
I chose to have the second c'section, as i did not want a repeat of what happen the last time. Yes maybe I could have gone for a VBAC, But I did not want to take the chance, and why would I?
I myself was born via c'section as my own mother is also of small structure

So without this wonderful procedure, I wouldn't have two of the prettiest girls you've ever seen that every day fill my heart with pride, and I might have never been born myself.
So I say HOORAY! sor the c'section and to hell with everyone closed minded and over rated opinions!

I had an emergency c-section and have no regrets. I have a healthy toddler, and I'm still here.
My DH's mother died whilst giving birth to his younger brother and it had a devastating effect on their lives.

If someone even implies that I had it "easy" I just tell them that maybe they should try not sleeping for 2 days, being in extreme pain for 8 hours, having major abdominal surgery and then throwing up non-stop for 6 hours (after major abdominal surgery) and see how "easy" it is.
Just like to say as I have not had a c-section two natural births but I feel I had the easy option
I'm amazed by women who have a c- section with my Secound I was in the same room with a lady who had a c-section she was up and walking looking after her bub bathing
I think women should relise that it is surgery far more risks associated and recovery time and not mention the pain after surgery pain and after pains
So even when I hear other women say its the easy way out I always say how you are aware it's surgery and carries risks and vaginal get to get up and shower walk around we're as women who have had c-section are restricted in diet and getting up or showering for what remember 24hrs if (I'm wrong sorry) I'm just remembering the lady next to me

Big deal you didn't feel a contraction trust me your not missing out on much it's a hole bunch of pain

I wouldn't have any regrets when your gurls do have their own from my own experience just being their supporting made me feel better I listened to the midwives not my mum or hubby

I wouldn't worry bout some women's ignorance to be honest
It's the same when it's vaginal you get asked
Was it natural
If you say no I had a epidural your looked at different like you took the easy way out also

I think women are their own worst enemies we are so judgemental with everything
And doesnt stop their it continues after with bubs

Like to add not all women

May I add that althought I dont personally agree with choosing to have a caesarean for no medical reason, I do believe that every woman has the right to make an informed decision on how they deliver their baby. After all its their body and no one elses.

We are all entitled to our opinion but no one should ever be made feel like they're less of a woman for not delivering their baby naturally. After all regarless of how the bay is brought into the world the result is the same- the miracle of life smile

I couldnt agree more!

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