Sorry this is so long, despite me editing it!
I can understand the frustration over treatment from elective caesareans. My first was elective due to her being a transverse breech. This was after a pregnancy where she was also suffering from IUGR. When I was on the table it was discovered that I have a bicornuate uterus, which, being my first pregnancy, apparently explained her size and her position. Despite this, I was still judged negatively. While in hospital I had a very rude med student ask me why I had a planned caesarean. When I told her why, and that it was strongly recommended by the OB due to the high potential of both maternal death and still birth if I went into labour the response I got was her rolling her eyes, shaking her head, and snorting as she walked away.
With my next I went to a far better hospital, and was originally with the VBAC mothers. However, when the VBAC specialist heard that I had a bicornuate he also told me that he would never recommend natural to me due to the risk of the scar splitting - planned caesarean is far safer than emergency.
To make matters worse I 'failed' at breastfeeding as well. With my first I tried hand expressing due to the difficulties. I discovered blood mixed with the milk - which I have only recently found out is perfectly normal - and the midwife said "Ew, I didn't need to know that. I guess you're just going to have to formula feed then". With my 2nd I went to classes, and got the attachment right, but when I felt intense pain I was told again to just start formula feeding - I believed the midwives when they said there should be no pain. I know now that that was wrong too, but that's thanks to my new GP and my improved research skills!
As for it being easier - no, it's not. The average labour won't be allowed to progress beyond 28hrs (I know there's exceptions). So that's 28hrs of pain, followed by a lifetime of sympathy and approval by pretty much all of society, not to mention the lack of risk with future pregnancies and childbirth. Washing yourself becomes very painful if you do not have a waterproof cover, which I was not given for my 2nd - I got so angry at the natural birth mothers who complained of the stinging from soap on their small amount of stitches!!
For both of my girls I was also given beds which had less room available than the others surrounding, as well as sinks. This led to not only having mothers and staff constantly disturbing me at all hours to use the sink, but also to me having a great deal of difficulty moving due to lack of space - I couldn't even fit one chair next to my bed with the curtains shut, despite my bag being under my bed! I know I'm only petite, but still!
With a caesarean though, emergency or planned, there's technically more than 6 weeks recovery.I think my GP said it's the lymph glands, but anyway, there's something that is sliced open that has to heal to allow the proper flow of fluid. There's also the risks associated with future pregnacies/childbirth, which increases each time you have one. This is all in addition to the fact that the glands that produce breastmilk are supposedly stimulated by hormones released during labour, which can lead to a delay in the production of breastmilk. So, first we are judged for not pushing, then we are judged for not breastfeeding!
I have also heard of some mothers who experience pain in their scars permanently, or at certain times. I'll admit, I'm starting to feel some tenderness now, but I have been very fortunate with this so far.
The stigma is far worse for those of us who have had planned. Those who have had emergency are still viewed by most as at least having tried - those of us who didn't are the "too posh to push". But that is based solely on my own experience, and I am sure there are some idiots out there who still don't view even that as good enough. But seriously, there are valid reasons why less women die in childbirth now than even a century ago!!! In fact, caesareans originally only occurred if it was evident that maternal death would occur but there was a possibility of saving the baby - we've come a long way!
Personally I feel there is not only a lack of support, but also a lack of information offered to mothers who must go down this path. We should not have to research this stuff ourselves. If our taxes are not paying for these professionals to use their expertise to inform us of everything that could happen to us, then what is it covering? And the changes regarding the stigma of cildbirth really needs to also start in the hospitals and the uni's. There's too many who work in hospitals who are prepared to propel this stigma - I believe most people in society see this as evidence to support their negative beliefs.
I'm now 20 wks pregnant with my 3rd, and as was expected, my uterus has finally stretched enough to have allowed him to grow properly - so far. I'm not considering VBAC this time. The risks for me are far greater, and I have no right to risk my children losing their mother just because of narrow minded fools. To choose a caesarean for non-medical or non-psychological (not including snobbery) reasons is an unneccesarily dangerous decision to make. But to choose it for medical or psychological reasons based on advice from medical professionals is a very responsible thing that takes courage and should be praised - regardless of it being planned or emergency.