Posted by: Sarah_****Ugh!!! Why is so much focused on the birth itself? You go to have a baby, not a beautiful birthing experience you can share with your nearest and dearest. And if you disagree and say it is about your experience, then please forgive me, but its not always just about you! Honestly, your babies aren't going to grow up and say how disappointed they were that they weren't "gently birthed" into the world. They don't give a $hit!
They may not "give a ****" as you put it, but how a woman gives birth CAN impact on how she parents. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but I have heard time and time again women saying that they couldn't bond with their babies because they had a very traumatic birth experience. I am all for minimising this, so if a woman feels that she had a beautiful experience maybe she will bond/not suffer from PND. I never for one minute thought my birth experience was just about me, I want what is best for my boys so in that vein, what is good for me is good for them. Would having a mum who felt they couldn't love them because she had every intervention under the sun that she did NOT want be good for them? Now I'm not saying that every woman who has had interventions feels that way, but some do. Yes, birth is a small part of the whole parenting picture, but every woman is different and deals with this differently. Should girlbunny have been told it was her fault that her son was still born because she didn't cry? I sure hope not, because it certainly wasn't her fault, sometimes things just happen.
You guys are the ones with the hang ups and you are pushing them onto to everyone else. If you can't handle a bad experience in a hospital without becoming post natally depressed or whatever, then how and the hell are you going to deal with the real problems in life?
Where in this post where we "pushing our hangups" onto anyone else? Kandied Heart posted a message about why she didn't want to give birth in a hospital, which then turned into, as far as I could tell, why she shouldn't be afraid and should just suck it up and do it. I supported her RIGHT to give birth how and where she chose, didn't try and "talk her round" to a homebirth that she didn't want. I don't think she stated anywhere in her post that she wanted one, just that she didn't want to give birth in a regular hospital instead of a birth unit.
Do you know anything about post natal depression and why it occurs? Just because a woman has PND doesn't mean she can't cope with life, just that she his having problems adjusting to parenthood. This quote indicates that birth trauma can be a risk factor for PND so in my not so humble opinion the better experience you have, the less likely you are to suffer from PND.
" Risk factors related to the birth
* Birth complications, such as caesarean delivery.
* The birth did not live up to expectations (e.g. birth in hospital or with intervention when the woman wanted a home or natural birth).
* Birth of a brain-damaged or ill baby."
Stop carrying your grudges and enjoy what you have to be thankful for in this world. Perhaps if you took the focus off yourself for a while, you will actually get to experience how truly great life can be!
I experience how great life can be everyday, my hospital birth with ds1 wasn't bad, just not what I wanted. I had no problems bonding with him and didn't suffer from PND. I gave birth to ds2 how I wanted and no I don't love him more or feel that he had a better entry into this world.....just a different one. The focus has always been and will always be what is best for my children and part of being a mother is doing things for yourself sometimes. It doesn't make you selfish, just a happier mum, and at the end of the day, that is what is best for my boys. I am thankful everyday that I have 2 beautiful, happy, healthy boys; I am also thankful that I had good experiences giving birth to them.
[Edited on 18/02/2008 by Huggies Moderator]