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Where do I go from here Lock Rss

Hi I am supposed to be 19weeks this monday... but of course I'm not am I. We went to our morphology scan just yesterday thinking we were 18weeks and 4days. We went to find out if we were having a girl or a boy. We even planned it to take my husbands kids who live in NSW and are down for the week. BUT of course it didnt go to plan did it. Instead of finding out what sex our baby was we found out our baby had no heartbeat and was smaller than 18w4days. Apparently our baby died at approx 14-15weeks. So what do I do now. I am supposed to call the hospital today and book for next week for an induced labour. Then what??? I am in tears as I type not knowing how I am supposed to bloody feel. What happens to my baby? Yeah, I know we can try again but that doesnt stop the hurt right now. I wanted this baby so much.

I'm so sorry this has happened. I lost my 2nd daughter on 14 August at 21 weeks, went into early labour and she died as a result as was way too young to survive. I had started bleeding so was admitted to hospital, 3 days later they discharged me (after having an ultrasound and all was ok), that afternoon I went into labour and lost her and we dont know why. When our little girl was born we held her afterwards, the hospital staff took photos and her hand and foot prints and gave us those and the blanket she lay on. We named her Heidi and because she was over 20 weeks we had to have a funeral and we chose cremation and have her ashes with us at home in an urn. I'm not sure what they do under 20 weeks but you could try the maternity unit where you are going and they should have a social worker who can help you.

They took a lot of blood tests after I had Heidi and are also doing a post mortem on Heidi to see if they can find out why, my blood tests showed nothing and we have to wait another 2 weeks for the post mortem. A post mortem is something you can choose to do or not.

It is the most horrific thing to go through and I am so sorry this has happened to you. Its nearly 8 weeks since I lost Heidi and I've had counselling which is helping me but I still want my baby back.

[Edited on 06/10/2007]
Hi Jodi
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I just want to come over and give you a big hug and have a cry with you. I was going to write some stuff in here but I'll send you an email instead regarding what happens afterwards. I'm not sure if its different at each hospital but I can tell you what happened with us at the Lyell Mac and what they did for us. You are constantly in my thoughts, and please know you don't have to go through this alone. We are all here to help in anyway we can. I will be thinking of you everyday and especailly on Tuesday.

Beautiful RoCa Mummy, I hear your heart right now. I gave birth to my angel just 2 days ago by induced labour.

Nothing will stop your tears right now, let them flow down your cheeks. Be sad, be angry, be depressed be anything you want to be. But remember that when you are ready, you can be joyous too.

You are a beautiful mum to an angel baby. A baby who loves you, grew from you, tasted what you ate, felt your warmth and your love and shared every single smile with you.

When my angel was born I held him/her and saw the face of my fiance in the face of our child. I touched them and kissed them and held them and felt love so overwhelming.

This is not the end for you or your child. Your love is just at a distance for a while: you will meet again.

I understand that some dreams have ended for you, make new dreams with the memory of your baby. You are richer now.

If you want to talk or have any questions about what will happen next, please pm me or add me to msn: happi_allie.

Accept the kindness offered by the face of a stranger and let the world grieve alongside you. You are not alone.

Mum to angel Wesley or Grace, Oct 4th, born sleeping

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and that you have to go through this. This link had a book written by SIDS and KIDS that might help you know what to do during the next few weeks. I hope it helps a little. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
i dont know where you go from here i'm lost to.i went for my check up at 39 weeks and was told leah we are sorry there is no heart beat.i yelled i screamed i didn't understand why.she was perfect.i went home that night and had to give birth to my beautiful daughter on June the 3rd this year.i found out i lost her on the 1st of June which was my birthday.i wanted a c section but they said if you want more children its best for us to break your waters and go into was a long day but my DD was born we named her Tiana lea.she was perfect in every way there was nothing wrong with her and could'nt tell me why she passed away.when we buried our daughter i gave her a mother and daughter necklace i have half and Tiana has the other.they say time does heal but it will take a while.My thoughts and prays are with you and your family.
P.S im here if you want to talk it does help a little to talk to people who have gone through it.i know you will not be on here for a while but everyones here when your ready to talk.
[Edited on 07/10/2007]
hello, i also understand and know your grief. I lost my precious baby boy at 38wks gestation, 2yrs ago. Obviously the shock of it all will take over right now, but the best advice i can offer is to take comfort in talking to others that have gone through a similar tragedy, (when you feel up to it of course). It will seem that Nobody can help you, or say anything thats gonna help you right now. Although everyone will despereately want to ! The main thing for you to focus on, is yourself, & giving yourself the time you need. Time will be your closest friend whilst trying to adjust to this nightmare you are going through...
i know your heart feels as though its physically tearing at the moment, i never thought id get through it, but eventually here i am with the ability to smile again after a lot of grief, sadness, tears & courage to live well for my children.

my heart goes out to you.. keep in touch with everyone here, im sure youll find comfort in talking to these lovely people..


I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious baby and so sorry for the pain that you are feeling.I believe there is no greater pain than the loss of a child.
There is nothing I can say to ease your pain and hurt but know that there are so many mummies of angels here that will not hesitate to send comforting words and a listening ear. Unfortunately for many of us there will never be an answer as to why and it is something that we have to carry with us forever.Sending you love and strength to help you get through

Thank you so much to all of you wonderful ladies. I really appreciate your kind words and reading your stories (although they are so very sad). We made the appointment to deliver the baby for today (tues) but my body had different ideas and I had to be taken into the hospital on Sunday. Unfortunately my husband was in Mildura at the time but he did manage to get back before I had our baby. Our beautiful angel was delivered at 8:05pm Sunday, 7th Oct. We named the baby Ashley as the hospital was unable to determine the gender at that stage. I was able to hold my precious Ashley in my hand. My heart still aches thinking about it all. Leaving the hospital was so very hard, having to say goodbye to Ashley was harder. Today I have to make arrangements for Ashley to be cremated. I want to have my babies ashes at home with me. My emotions are like a rollercoaster... sometimes I seem ok and other times I am a blubbering mess. I keep trying to work out why this happened. Was it something I did? Was it something I didnt do? Im searching for answers and keep coming up blank.
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