I dont know how to deal with it

I hope this makes sense and I'm sorry if I ramble on a bit, I'm upset as I'm typing this but just have to get it out. I found out I was pregnant on Mothers Day with our 2nd child. When I was 14 weeks we found out our dear little girl had downs and we made the agonising decision not to continue with the pregnancy. I know not everyone agrees with our decision but it was the best for our family for a number of reasons. Our little girl was born on the 26th of July. I got to see and hold her and spend some quality time with her which I cherish. I would've been 24 weeks this Thursday. I thought I was coping with things ok, but I am really struggling at the moment seeing and hearing about women that are pregnant. It seems everywhere around me are pregnant women and I am expected to be happy for them but I just can't. I have one friend who is about 19 weeks, another who is 12 weeks, and another who is about to embark on IVF to try to conceive their 2nd child. I can not cope with hearing about how their pregnancies are going and hearing how their bellies are growing and the baby is moving. I can't cope with hearig their excitement when they speak about their bundles of joy they have. It should be me. I know we made the decision not to continue but it was for the love of our daughter that we made that decision. It doesnt make it any easier. Sometimes I just think I am really losing the plot. No-one really understands how I am feeling, not even my partner. I get the comments like oh but you can try again, and you know you can have healthy children. My little girl should still be growing nice and strong and healthy inside my tummy not up in heaven with al the other precious little angels. I just don't know what to do. I know no-one can help, but I just had to get this all out, I hope it makes some kind of sense.

Hi there

We've spoken before, I lost my little girl on 14 August at 21 weeks. I'm feeling very much like you are, I'd be 27 weeks now and should be big and fat with her kicking inside me, instead I'm empty... in every sense of the word. Its hard and I feel alone with it. Everyone else has moved on now, its like it happened, they were sympathetic, she's gone now and life has moved on - only for us (you and I) it hasnt. I think for everyone else it wasnt really a baby as they never got to meet her, spend time with her, see her grow whereas we did and we gave birth and we lost all our dreams we had for their future. I'm not sure how to deal with it either, some days I feel ok, yesterday I cried alot. I would have done same as you had I been in your situation, I dont think you should feel bad for the decision you made and I know it doesnt make it any easier for you, you still lost your little girl. I dont have any answers for you, but totally understand how you feel.

xoxox

Hey Miss Trace....

Gee I want to fly to Adelaide right this minute and give you one big mighty hug....I know it won't take that pain away sweetie but boy I reckon we could both do with it.

Remember I am only a phone call away if you want to chat ok.. I promise I'll make you laugh..

Take care my sweet friend.
Joey.

Mum to twins Luke 13.05.04 & ~Rhiarna~ My sweet angel girl in heaven……and bubba Ryan 26.03.07

I lost my DD at 39 weeks she was stillborn and i'm like you she should be here im sorry your darling daughter was un well.I look at all the newborn in the shops and the beautiful baby girl clothes and think why cant i buy them.life is so un fair sometimes.i wish you well and a great big hug from me to you and your family.

I am so sorry for all your losses. I too lost my little boy at 39 weeks and wish everyday that he was here. You made the decision that was right for you and it doesn't matter if others don't understand. It must have been a really hard decision to make and I admire your strength. I know it must be hard to be around other pregnant people. I haven't had to do that yet but honestly am terrified of the thoguht. I work for an IVF company and have only been back at work for two days. But I am scared of walking past the waiting room or into the reception area and seeing a pregnant person or hearing or seeing a little baby. It is not that I am not happy for them, it will just remind me that my llittle boy isn't here.
I don't know what to say to make it any easier for your because I am still tying to deal with it myself (I only lost Lucas six weeks ago). I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and that while we can't imagine it getting any easier, I hope that it does get easier for you.