I hope this makes sense and I'm sorry if I ramble on a bit, I'm upset as I'm typing this but just have to get it out. I found out I was pregnant on Mothers Day with our 2nd child. When I was 14 weeks we found out our dear little girl had downs and we made the agonising decision not to continue with the pregnancy. I know not everyone agrees with our decision but it was the best for our family for a number of reasons. Our little girl was born on the 26th of July. I got to see and hold her and spend some quality time with her which I cherish. I would've been 24 weeks this Thursday. I thought I was coping with things ok, but I am really struggling at the moment seeing and hearing about women that are pregnant. It seems everywhere around me are pregnant women and I am expected to be happy for them but I just can't. I have one friend who is about 19 weeks, another who is 12 weeks, and another who is about to embark on IVF to try to conceive their 2nd child. I can not cope with hearing about how their pregnancies are going and hearing how their bellies are growing and the baby is moving. I can't cope with hearig their excitement when they speak about their bundles of joy they have. It should be me. I know we made the decision not to continue but it was for the love of our daughter that we made that decision. It doesnt make it any easier. Sometimes I just think I am really losing the plot. No-one really understands how I am feeling, not even my partner. I get the comments like oh but you can try again, and you know you can have healthy children. My little girl should still be growing nice and strong and healthy inside my tummy not up in heaven with al the other precious little angels. I just don't know what to do. I know no-one can help, but I just had to get this all out, I hope it makes some kind of sense.