pregnant after a loss

hi this is the first time that i have written and think i am in the right area! I have had a misscarrage then 4 1/2 years of trying for my first. Then 2 1/2 yrs of trying with the last 18 months of that taking fertility drugs for my ssecond. Then three months ago a mircale happened and i got pregnant by suprise. At 7 weeks it was found to be eptopic and they had to remove my tube and had to cut me open to do it. Last week i found out that i am once again pregnant and am terrified. I have been for a scan, and they cant find it yet, as only 5 weeks and have had pain on the side that the tube is on, i am having blood tests every 48 hours and am so stressed by the whole thing, have lots of concerns and mostly that i am too scarred to even think about this as a baby is this normal. I have read and read on the net and cant find anything on 'lightning striking twice' can you get 2 eptopics in a row? Also feeling ashamed that if i lose this baby that there is something wrong with me, any advice would be greatly appreciated

Firstly, please don't feel ashamed or feel guilty for what you've been through - if we had any ability to control these kind of circumstances we all know we would do so without a hesitation.

I had 2 m/c and 2 yrs TTC (incl fert treatment) before i fell pg with DD, now 9mths. I didn't speak to anyone about what I'd gone thru (except DH and close family) and found it very hard to deal with the emotions. I was sure it was my fault, and i didn't understand how common m/c and fertility problems were. I didn't deal with my grief properly and it resurfaced once DD was born. Now I'm pg again but it happened so easily this time I'm worried about another m/c. I don't think the fear and pain of losing a baby ever really leave you.

It sounds like you are doing all you can medically to monitor this pregnancy. I would have thought the odds of 2 ectopics in a row was very low...but to reassure yourself can they redo the scan in another week just to check baby is healthy and growing in the right spot?

In the meantime, try not to worry too much - I know its so easy to say and so hard to do. And it is natural for you to be scared and to not want to think of this as a baby yet, so don't feel any pressure or expectations...just look after yourself for now. I didn't allow myself to bond with DD until well into the pregnancy, and we didn't buy anything til i was 20 weeks along.

Feel free to vent here - there are lots of very supportive ladies who have had similar experiences.

Take care, and let us know how you go over the next week or so...
Claire

hey well am still hanging in there am now 8 weeks and hav had a scan it seems to be in the right place and am going for another next week to see if they can see the heart beat and that its still all ok... by the horrid morning lunch afternoon and evening sicness that i have i am guessing so
thanx for the reply makes me feel not so alone

A big congrats and just stay positive, I know first hand how hard it can be.

I've had 2 Ectopics - both tubes, i had one, then i had my beautiful son (who's 2 1/2), then i had another, and now i am 24weeks pregnant again, with another boy.

I was lucky not to lose my tubes, but i had a 75% chance of having another ectopic next time round. But i defeated the odds and fell pregnant.

My husband and i are one of the lucky ones and now so are you.

In the first trimester i remember getting some sharp pains on the sides, i worried so much i had to have 5 scans total, just to put my mind at ease.

Make sure you let us know how your next scan goes.

Take good care of yourself.