Am I doing it right?

Hi everyone.

On the 6th of August 2007 I lost my beautiful daughter Rori Elaine, stillborn at 36weeks.

She was buried on the 13th of august, and so far I have been to visit her everyday - until today. I haven't cried yet today, or yesterday, or last friday. But I feel bad for not crying. And that I didn't visit her today. Its only been 2 weeks. Shouldn't I be doing more mourning? I don't understand why I'm like this...

Well, typing this has made me cry... Even though I haven't cried, I've still been sad... why can't I cry... I feel like I should be crying all the time, I feel like I'm donig this all wrong.

I mean, my 21month old daughter helps to keep me busy, but surely I should still be doing more. Does it mean I didn't love my Rori enough?

Emma
[Edited on 21/08/2007]

no, no, no please dont think that, you loved her enough of course you did. people grieve differently this is just your way. my friend lost her little girl at 36 weeks on the 8th of august and from when ive seen her she seems sad but ok. your not doing anything wrong, please believe that.

my sister lost her little girl on the 3rd of june at 39 weeks she has a 3 year old little boy thaty keeps her going.she has her moments as i think she will for the rest of her life but when her friends see her they say i cant beleive how well your taking it she hate it when they say that.she feels like they dont think she has been crying.but she being strong for her son.you are doing everything right,and when my sister cant go to the grave she lights her a candle at home.its really hit her hard this week but last week she was good.so you will have good days and worse days.i wish you well and your family.

Hi Emma,

Everyone deals with grief at different stages and in their own way. You will mourn at your own pace... some days will be more than others. Its a very unique journey. Don't feel bad for not crying. Like you said its only been two weeks. I know you have loved Rori with all your heart, and you will continue to love her with everything you have for the rest of your life.

Hi Emma
I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful daugther Rori.
Please don't think you are doing anything wrong. Everything you have been thinking and feeling is totally normal.
I had the same feelings when I didnt cry. Why can't I cry? I had feelings of guilt when I had a happy moment or hour or day, thinking I shouldn't be happy I should be sad.
We all deal with the different stages of grief in different ways and you will have you good, bad and indifferent days where you cry a lot, a little bit or not at all. Just because you have a day (or a few) where you don't cry doesn't mean you love your precious daughter any less.
Take care
Tracy