I lost my baby

My baby was stillborn at 21 weeks last Tuesday 14 August.

I was posting in Xmas babies as she was due on 25 December but its not right posting there anymore, I feel lost and alone.

My milk came in today and am dealing with the physical as well as emotional turmoil.

I just feel so black at the moment.

Hi Avas Mummy
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. Although I have not experienced a stillbirth, I have lost a baby recently. We found out at 14w5d that our beatiful daughter had downs syndrome and make the agonising decision not to continue with our pregnancy. I can understand your grief and the range of emotions that you must be feeling right now. There are a wonderful bunch of mummies on here that will listen and support you as much as they can through this terrible period. If you want to talk more, just pm me your email address. Take care and look after yourself.
Tracy

HI Avas Mummy,
First of all I am so very sorry for you loss. Losing a baby is one of the worst things ever I could not image your loss as each one is diffrent. My heart goes out to you and your family,

First of all, if I can help with something it is the milk issue, cabbages leaves are wonderful you also can get some tablest from you doc, they work pretty much right away.

as the pain your feeling I could not imange your pain, and I am so sorry that you have this to go though, Feel In your heart she knew she was loved and still is, and they can feel emotions from 15 weeks so every time you rubed your tummy she knew she was loved. I really dont know what to say but if you ever need a chat PM me or i will reply on hear i know a lady who went though the same thing so if you need some support I can get you some web sights how ever it might just be to early.

Did you know sids and kids also do still born babies maybe you can contact your local sids and kids and they can help you along.

Hun I wish you all the best on this tough road and please dont let anyone hurry you, you take all the time in the world and as for not posting in the xmas babies I totaly understand that i was in the april babies and then started the Aughurts ones so I will not be going in there any time soon. people will understand and they know you have to greave, take each day as itcomes hun and my thoughts are with you

best wishes
Nikki

Your story is heartbreaking. Nothing I can say will help but I am sorry for your loss.

What was her name?

im so sorry, no one should have to deal with something like this.'
my sister in law lost her first baby too at 26 weeks, he died a few days after birth when her milk came in she bound her breasts with bandages to help with the discomfort until her milk dried up.

Hello

Thank you so much for your replies, we named her Heidi Rose and had her funeral this morning, now I just feel numb - like this is happening to someone else not me. I just want my baby back so much.

They set up a table with tulle & pink satin, candles, butterflies and flowers with her tiny white coffin in the middle. The coffin had a glass plaque on one end with her name and the date engraved on it and a tiny bunch of pink & white miniature roses on top. It was so pretty but so hard to see. It was just me, my husband and daughter Ava whose 16 months and they played baby lullabys while we sat with Heidi and said our goodbyes, before we left Ava blew out the candles - it was very sweet, and she waved bye bye to her little sister.

We are going away for a few days tomorrow and will pick up her ashes on Friday.
xox

what a very hard day for you,one that you never expect to attend.my name is belinda my thoughts are with you an your family today tomorrow an beyond.i lossed my baby girl maddison in april of 1998 ,it is not fair that we have to have the emtional strain as well as the phyiscal after losing a baby. do you have any close friend or family to talk to.it sound like a lovely little service you had for heidi.please take care pm if you ever need a shoulder to listen .

Hi Ava'smummy, sorry to hear of your sad loss, thats such a pretty name. I too had a stillbirth 6wks ago and i was 37wks gestation. Sounds like you had a lovely funeral for your wee daughter. Hope you have a lovely break away. If you ever want to talk i'm here for you.

omg ava'smummy, i am so sorry. Im stunned, im so sorry i just dont know what to say. I just want you to know i'm thinking of you and hope your daughter is watching over you. xxx

Hi and thank you to everyone whose replied.

I'm trying to get back into the world but its hard, at the moment I have the phone off the hook and havent faced many people. It feels so wierd, I feel guilty that I somehow failed her, empty and a bit lost. Today I went to the local shop and one of the ladies who works there, who I usually have a bit of a chat too, looked at my tummy (or lack thereof now) and then looked at me and said an awkward hello and moved on... guess I'll have to deal with a bit of that.

We picked up Heidi's ashes today and have to wait another six weeks for the post mortem results but may not get any answers, so far they couldnt find anything with all the blood tests they did on me so will have to see if they can find anything with Heidi as to why this happened.

At the moment things are a battle but thank god for my little Ava, she has learnt to say baa, moo and woof woof - I dont know what I'd do without her and at the same time having her makes me realise all the more what I have lost.

xox