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About time!! Lock Rss

Hi everyone....

Its about time we had a section like this. I'm glad they haven't been more specific in relation to what type of loss. ie m/c stillbirth neonatal death, or the death of an older child.

We lost DD1 to a heart problem that was related to a simple form of the gastro virus. We had no idea DD had a defect in her heart. They were only minor, and she was doing so well. She fed well, she was a great sleeper, and from all apperances she was a happy health bub. We saw a midwife the day before she died, and all was GREAT. What we didn't know was that she had some defects, and her patent ductus didn't close at all. So when she caught the virus, her heart had to work too hard. It enlarged, and she had a massive cardiac arrest just after the ambulance got us to the hospital. They tried so very hard to save her, but she was already gone. Her first birthday was last week.

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant with DD2, and the anxiety and stress is just out of control! I'm so glad we have a place now where we can vent, and chat and support each other, without feeling like we are freaking out all the mums who haven't been through a loss. There is a lot of sites out there, but its great to be able to chat in the huggies forum about this kind of stuff.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful little angel, its terrible to hear of their problems when you take it for granted that they are healthy, we found out at 34 weeks that our little man had numerous heart defects and were told that he may not survive the birth. Fortunatley they underestimated him and he is now a happy and healthy 3year old, but has to have regular checkups.
His patent ductus also doesn't close properly and the left side of his heart is enlarged so we have to be extra viligant if he gets sick, as he can sleep for days if he gets a bout of gastro or a cold.
Has your new bub had heart scans? Our DD had them while I was pregnant, not that it can put you at ease until you have your baby in your arms and you know the she will be OK.
I wish all the best with your new baby, am thinking of you.
Jess

I agree about this being a great section, I normally post in the Planning section but I feel sorry for all the first time mums having to read all our stories of M/C and problems, I know its the reality of it but its a stress they don't need.
Hey Jess,

Thanks for your kind words. I'm so very glad your little man was so much stronger than they thought! You must be so very proud of him!

We did have a fetal echo cardiogram at the childrens hospital, it came back all clear. So thats another hurdle over. There is some reassurance that if there is a problem it will be picked up. No one can give 100% statements that all will be okay, but such is life. I think I'll relax a lot more, when I know that her (we are having another girl) patent ductus has closed.

Its very strange going through a pregnancy after having a loss, I think it would be the same if it was a m/c or a full term bub. You lose that sence of innocence about how delicate the whole process really is. Its hard to be able to express yourself when you need to, but at the same time, not to stress out other mums, who haven't been in the same circumstances. This way, we can vent and support and if some people dont want to read it, then they have the choice not to come in to this section!

a story like yours brings tears to my eyes, it realy is your worst nightmare, i know it must be hard but try not to stress too much in your last weeks you need to enjoy it (easier said than done i know) i dont know what to say, im so sorry.
Linkage, I am so sorry to hear about your angel baby and I can totally empathise with how you've been feeling with this pregnancy.
I lost my wee girl in 2005, a stillbirth at 38 weeks. I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a wee boy and your right, its very strange being pregnant after a loss. Ultamitely for me nothing will be ok until I'm holding my wee baby in my arms and I'm sure it's the same for you too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Linkage, I so know its hasn't been easy for you and for that - big respects smile.

Regards

Bo

Hi Bo,

I'm sorry you lost your little girl! Do you think you will feel the weight of the world lift off your shoulders when you hear your little boy cry? I'm not quite sure how that will be for us. Everyone says, when you get past the point where your loss occurred, then you feel a lot better. Were they able to give you any answers in relation to why your loss happened? DD didn't have problems unitl she was 15 days old... so I think I wont breathe easy until after then, well after then I think.

Have you been doing kick counts? I've got a kick count chart this time around, and every day I record how long it takes bubs to kick/move ten times. I have found it very reasuring.
Jo

I keep trying to imagine the emotions I will feel when I finally get hear my wee boy cry for the first time and get to hold him in my arms. I almost cry just trying to think about it. For me, at that very moment, everything will be ok and I do feel that a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders.

We had no warning with my daughter Sharahn, and afterwards no explanation. I think it's probably one thing that I have come to terms with.. not having an answer. She was so peaceful we didn't want an autopsy, we didn't want to disturb her any further.

I do beleive that once we pass that long awaited milestone of getting passed the point of our previous loss that things will finally be ok. I also believe that afterwards, well for myself anyway, that I'll be an over anxious mother because of it.

I do have a kick chart too, but my baby moves so often I am constantly reassured. Everytime I think, "he hasn't moved much today" he will give me a good hard boot and keep it up for at least 2-3 minutes.. it's almost like he knows smile.

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Its the best feeling when you feel them move! I've really noticed it more this time around than I did last time. If I'm feeling extra paranoid and I haven't felt her move in a while, I always drink heaps of icey cold water and make her do a dance.

I know what you mean about being able to hear that cry! I'm so focused on holding her for the firt time, and having a warm cuddle, just to be able to look at her and hold her, and feel her little warm breath on my skin... Everyone needs one of those happy thoughts to drift off to when the paranoia gets too much...

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