Hi Kim, well in reading the original post as of what to do next........NOTHING!!!!!
YOu do exactly what it is you want to do.. My story, (long version cut short) I am now pregnant with baby no6. This is my 14th pregnancy and I have lost 8 babies thru m/c some have been the ealrier stages, 2 have been at 12 weeks, in which i hada D&C done. I have never waited for a period and have never been advised to , except by a female gp who said it is better for dating if you have aperiod first...
I had lost 4 babies in a row and i can tell you the last one absolutely did my head in, iwas a mess, I never bled and my stomach was still fgrowing as the placenta was still nce and healthy, but the baby was just doing nothing, floating, on the scan it just looked like any formed 12 week old baby , i had no bleeding no pain, nothing, i was inconsolable, also had my 9yoDD with me to celebrate the moment with me (didn't she get a fright).ANYway had the D&C and was dertermined that i wasnrt going to let it happen again so i asked to have my tubes ties at the same time. I got into theatre and was speaking to my OB (who for the first time i had gone privately, thinking he could keep my baby alive)and chickened out of the procedure, everything was waiting for me to be done, all the tools etc.and i backed out at the very last second!! I had no bleeding for 6 weeks after the op , then i had the most horrendous period for a week, the first 3 days i could not leave the house i was using tampons and pads and still had to change every 15 mins, it was painful and clots wer coming out, but i tell you, i have never felt so clean and fresh after it was all over... There is not reason medically why i m/c and they say that statistically i am just one of the unlucky ones!! doesn't really help much..
Now emotionally: there is no way to act, to prepare yourself for each minute of the day, to stop the feelings you are feeling, it is lioke a rollercoater and will be so for some time, i went thru sadness anger and i thought i had started on the guilt but was told by the OB on checkup that no i was still very angry and there were emotions that go in a line, he said sad, anger guilt then start to come thru, i didin't get past angrt, and boy was i angry!!! besides still crying at everything, i did not and could not speak to people who wanted to see me, in the end i was just honest and told them when they rang or wanted to visit that i just could not do it, i feel like death and i don't want to see anybody and i can't stop crying, they understood but were sad for me. The anger, boy, i was angry with drug addicts, smokers, people driving down the road with baby seats in their cars, i could not even walk into a shop which sold any kind of baby clothing or accessory, I even walked into a shop, (i thought gettingout of the house on my own for an hour or so may help)and just completely broke down, thankfully they understood, it was a crystal shop and sat me down and we had a chat. i was a bloody mess. and i make no apologies for it, as it was my way of grieving, i had started to look into councilling for myself, i knew iwasn't getting any better and i hated that feeling, especially having other kids at home to look after, when i really didn't feel like doing that either, when i found out i was pregnant again! that is what got me thru, i had that massive blood loss and was pregnant the month after, so then there came the whole lot of other issues that come with that, worrying about everything,making sure you have a gurad up until 20 weeks or so before you even look at baby sections, etc, that pregnancy was the longest , time of my life i think, My DD is now just turned 9 months old. When i got her home from the hospital, i was waiting for another period, and it didn't come so i am now 29 -30 weeks regnant (i forget!) with bub no 6!!!.... so things work out in the end.......eventually. But my advise is to go with every emotion that comes your way, you may sob for hours, then laugh about why you have done so, you may clean evrything down, i did that, i just felt so dirty and guilty for some reason i had to have eveything scrubbed, It is not a day by day thing at this stage, it is to get thru 5 mins at a time, even 1 minute if you have to(as Lukes mum has said). I know i was adamant i wasnt going to let myself go thru this kind of emotional pain again so i said no more kids, and somehow i fell pregnant. I suggest you do nothing about birth control at this stage and see how you go you are going thru turmoil at the moment so thats when i think you should do nothing, when you have a bit of clarity in the next few months you will be able to make a clearer decision.
Oh and try as best you can to ignore the comments Well at least you have other children, some people aren't that lucky, and It was for the best" i lashed out a few times at those comments, because of course you are not that nieve to KNOW that, but you need time to let it all sink in, and a few months later you will be like, well of course thats true, but your heart is just not int he place to deal wiith those comments right now, i loved each and every one of the kids i have lost, and yes i still had other kids at home that i loved and was lucky yto have them, but these kids wer individuals and deserved my love also, and to lose them was devasting... i know you will know what i mean, even if it takes a few weeks.. Anyway, that was my story, well one of them!and you will have your own journey to go on thru this , but letting you know i am thinking of you at this time and that is how i got thru....just barely! will keep cjheckingin and seeing how you are doing, I don't usually come on these threads as now that i am pregnant i think anything i do will curse me iby looking at these sites or thinking about them, which is totally my issue, but your story just hit a nerve.... there is no time limit on grief!!! big hugs xoxox