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Emotions after D&C Lock Rss

Hi ladies,

I had a d&c on Friday. I was 11 weeks along but found out when I was around 7 weeks through ultrasounds and repeat HCG bloods that we'd most likely miscarry, but originally we were advised to wait a few weeks to see if it would happen on its own. It didn't - so finally went in to hospital on Friday.

I had been coming to terms with it over the last four weeks, but for the last couple of days since my d&c, even the slightest things are setting me off. Last night, I got angry at DH for not putting away the groceries (!) and burst in to tears. I called my doctor's office just now to make my post-op appointment and his receptionist asked me how I was, I started getting choked up. I don't feel like I have any control over my emotions at the moment, and everything just seems so difficult.

Originally I thought I'd go back to work today, and then I thought I'd take today off and go back tomorrow. My boss and workmates have all been very supportive, but my work can be a bit high pressure and I'm just conscious of not bursting in to tears if things start getting a bit stressful.

My doctor and a friend who recently had a m/c told me I could expect a 'mood rush/slump' which can happen when your body recognises that it's not pregnant anymore. I just feel very sad and empty, which I wasn't really expecting since I'd had some time to come to terms with the outcome.

I know everyone is different, but I thought I'd come on here and get some experiences and advice. When did you start feeling better?

Hugs to all others who have just been through, or are going through a loss. It might sound naive, but I had no idea how sad it could be until it happened to us.

It really does depend. I have just had my 3rd mc. My 2nd was similar to you. Found out at 7 weeks there were only sacs. But my hcgs were rising and sacs were growing with no bubbas inside (there were 3). I had to wait until nearly 10 weeks to be sure before having my d&c. I took the friday off for the surgery and the Monday off and returned on the Tuesday. I think I might of left work early for a few days when I coudlnt cope anymore. I found work a good distraction. Plus felt guilty I had had a lot of time off with ultrasounds and doctors appointments after finding out thing were bad. I should have taken a week off in hindsight.
This time I took medication to induce the baby at 9 weeks. It happened a week before xmas so I took a day off work while I was in hospital and then I had a couple of weeks off work anyway because our office was shut. I returned 2 weeks ago and was a complete mess. First day I cried 5 times. I am a bit embarrassed now as everyone could tell I was really upset and I would burst into tears if someone asked if I was ok. I should have taken at least an extra week. Still struggling this week but not so teary, so it is probably a good distraction for me now.
The other two times I felt really sad for about 3 weeks to a month. I still felt sad after but could function normally. This time is a lot worse. Not sure if it is because I was further along and saw a heartbeat, because I had the baby two days after the due date from my first mc or because I hadnt dealt with the feelings properly from the other 2 so now I am dealing with all of them.
If you are still feeling teary if someone asks how you are, might be best to take a bit more time off.
And I am the same as you, had no idea how bad it would be or how much pain I could feel.
xxxxx
I'm really sorry for your loss sad I think everything you're feeling is normal and I reckon be kind to yourself and just allow yourself to feel what you feel. It's a hard time and a process too, I am not sure you get to a place where you just feel better, but more you get better at understanding and managing how you feel. If that makes any sense. Big hugs x
Sorry to hear Chops30. Sounds like you have had a hard few weeks. sad

I had a D&C in Oct at 11wks also. I cried everyday for the first two weeks. It was my first pregnancy and I didn't knw how much it would hurt till it happened. It also seemed everwhere I looked people were pregnant or falling pregant. 3 months on I still have bad days, but trying to remain poitive. I now only get upset when people remind me about it (not that I could ever forget) and when friends talk about MC ect as most don't know what happened.

It will take time, and there will be tears. I'm sure your DH will be able to support you & yes he prob will cop the most of mood changes, I know my DH did when it happened. smile Wishing you all the best!
Both my m/c I found out at the 12wk scan.

My 1st m/c was natural I was sad/emotional etc for a few weeks and noticed everyone else who was pregnant etc. I was also my first pregnancy.

The 2nd m/c I was a mess for months and had to have a d&c. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but ended up having to tell my parents as I fainted and my partner called the ambo's, so someone had pickup my DD from daycare.
Hi Chops30, sorry for your loss. I have had 2 d&c's, one I found out at 20 weeks, the latest at 12 weeks. I had my d&c the very next day both times tho. For both of mine, It's taken me about a week or so to feel back to some sort of normal, but I've found both times, around 6-7 weeks later, I have another slump and get down about it again, (I'm there now, my last was about 6 weeks ago).

I think everyone reacts to everything differently and you've certainly had a rough month waiting for it all to happen too. Don't expect too much, too soon and just let you body ride the emotional wave it needs to. I've found having people to talk to about it helps also.

Be good to yourself and take the time you need. As for work, it will still be there when you're ready for it.
Thanks so much ladies - it really sucks that there are so many of us that have been through, or are still going through this.

It helps to know that what I am feeling is normal. I had thought that after the d&c I'd be free to move on with life and be fine, but I am still an emotional mess and not sleeping very well. I'm walking around like a zombie. Like you've all said, hormones are all over the place. It's been a very long drawn out process over the last four weeks, which I think has also affected me, and a close friend also just announced her first pregnancy on the day I booked my d&c, due around the same time I would have been. I'm happy for her of course, but a mixture of emotions.

I also find myself worrying about what other people think, like I've been stressing about taking time off work, even though I hardly ever take sick days. When I spoke to my doctor's receptionist yesterday and told her how I was feeling, she said they'd send me a certificate for today as well and suggested that I go and get a massage and just be kind to myself.

My DH has been really great, and yes, he has been copping the brunt of the tears and seen all the moods. I think it took him a little bit of time to understand that the crying and sadness would hang around and sometimes would happen even without a trigger. He's very positive and forward thinking and talks about trying again, which I want to do as soon as we can too, once I've dealt with the here and now.

I've been quite open about what is happening and lucky to have a lot of support, including a few friends who have been there previously. I've also been talking to a counsellor who has been really helpful to talk to a professional, and get a perspective from someone outside of my family and friends group.

Thanks again for the support, wishing those of you who have had recent losses all the very best. Here's hoping 2014 brings us rainbow babies. x

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