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  5. How do you cope after a miscarriage?

How do you cope after a miscarriage? Lock Rss

Can you identify exactly what it is that you're feeling?

I had
- sadness about what wouldn't be.
- guilt that I had been given this life to take care of but failed to do so.
- anger that the medical staff involved were so determined to be positive that it took days before anyone was upfront that it would most likely end in a loss. False hope is cruelty.

Didn't help me to get over it any quicker but at least I knew what I was dealing with. This helped identify when I was being irrational/frustrated and when I was genuinely mourning my loss.
I am feeling a lot of things....

Lost - Cause i don't know how i should be feeling or why its happened to me
Sad - I just wanted it so bad and was so excited about it all
Guilt - Cause this was my baby and i should have protected it ( even though i didn't do anything physical)
failure - I feel like im a failure and feel like i let my husband down.... and disappointed him

I hate feeling all these things, but i am sure that things will work out for me.
Yep, the husband part was the worst. He really isn't upset with you and you didn't let him down but your head isn't yet in a place where you can accept that. And he won't talk about it because he doesn't want to upset you further but the lack of communication just adds to your paranoia. This is where I had to be really strict with myself about what was genuine mourning and what was just my mind playing tricks on me.

In my innocence, I thought having to tell my husband that his boys needed more than one shot to get me pregnant was the hardest news I'd ever have to break to him....
Yeah i think the hardest part is the husband, he has been so good with me and i can understand that he will be feeling heart break too. Thanks for your comments means a lot to know i can talk about it with people that have been through it.
Hi Lana J I too am new to forums and I too had my first miscarriage 16 March 2013 I have a 9yr old daughter. I still don't think I am fully over my mc and to make things worse 10days after my mc I found out my 18yr old step daughter is pregnant while I am really happy for her it has taken me until today to be able to call her and talk to her about it I text her to tell her I am happy and that things were just still raw for me and that I would call her when I was a little better with it all. Thankfully she was ok and we had an awesome chat about it all today. I agree with Little Miss's idea of her angel pendant/s I have a tattoo in mind that I want to get and intend on incorporating our babies nickname into it as we were moving house the weekend after I found out I was pregnant and a few other things that had happened we had nick named our baby "KAOS". I was always extremely keen to have a baby with my husband and like you have found after our mc I am more determined. Good luck and I hope to keep chatting with you on here.
smile
Sanman, sorry to hear about your MC, how are you doing??, it's hard when other people around you are pregnant for just had a baby. My sister in law just had her baby and it was hard i couldn't look at the baby or even hold her till i was ready.... I hate going to the shopping centers cause all you see is pregnant people and babies, even on TV everything seems to be babies or the like.... I feel like the world is rubbing in that i had a MC.

I have been looking for a pendant or something of the same meaning as mentioned by Little Miss's yet to find the perfect thing.

Hope we can chat further.... Great to feel the comfort i have from been on these forums...
Hey, Lana I hope you're feeling better. I am extremely sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand how hard it must have been for you. I would suggest you to TTC. This will help you a lot. Other than this keep yourself busy. Read books and watch movies. All my prayers are with you.
I am extremely sorry to hear about your loss. This must have been extremely hard for you. However, the way you can deal with it is by being busy. When a fertility treatment used to fail for me this is what I did. I used to open my computer and started searching. It is through this research I learned so much. Today, my process is going really well because of this. I started searching for better clinics. Once I was able to find one I quickly contacted them. I am hoping for the best. I would suggest you do the same. Just don't give up. Good luck to you. If you need help let me know. Sending baby dust.
Fortunately nowadays we've got lots of options to beat infertility. And there ARE methods that allow the majority to become parents. Even in the most hopeless cases!! Mitochondrial donation is one of unique methods to beat infertility. I usually write about it because the method is really amazing. It allows a woman who couldn’t conceive a baby for years to get pregnant and carry a healthy child. The correct work of egg mitochondria, that is their active functionality contributes to the successful conception. Consequently, if there's the issue with this activity, then it is necessary to implant healthy donor mitochondria. Donor mitochondria allow the eggs of the infertile patient to work as it is necessary for successful conception. At the same time, a donor egg cell is not needed. Only mitochondria with high functional activity. This method is highly effective for 40+ women to become pregnant, who aren't willing to conceive through ivf with donor egg. It is also designated for patients who have faced numerous IVF failures. Thanks to the new method, the chances of a successful pregnancy increase significantly. It is much easier to achieve the desired pregnancy with functionally active mitochondria.
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