Rosie Mumma wrote:
Hi Clax, so sorry for your losses hun. I lost my girl at 20 weeks 6 months ago. I also have a MC angel I lost at 9 weeks. I'm not really sure what you mean by move on? My goal is to be able to function without being on the verge of tears, to be able to think about my girl without breaking down and to be able to remember her without losing my mind smile
I have a photo of her name in the sand and her footprints framed on our wall but I won't ever remove them, I hope that for me, moving forward is just feeling more accepting of the way my cards have been dealt.
You can only do what feels right for you and if you feel the time is right to put things away you should do that. I wish you peace Mama xxx
I probably didn't articulate that very well. I think I have moved beyond the overbearing grief that I felt for the first year or so of my first childs death. I still think about her and the other babies I lost everyday, but I can now do that without bursting into tears. Sometimes i wonder if by looking back too much I am stopping myself moving forward and focussing on the family I have.
A friend of mine told me that in her culture miscarriages are souls (soulmates) looking for you that aren't quite strong enough yet to survive in the world. She believes that my first babies' soul rejoined me in the form of my DD1 and my subsequent miscarriages were the same soul trying to join me and my family. Now that my beautiful baby has been born that soul has found me in my DD2. I take great solice in this sentiment and it has lessened by grief a lot. It probably sounds strange to most people, but she really believes it with all her heart, and I find the thought very comforting. It somehow makes the losses more bearable, more rational.
i wonder if now that soul has found me it is time to put the past behind me and move forward. I will always acknowledge the loss and grief that my DH and i have endured, but now it's time for us to enjoy the next phase of our lives as a family.
Thanks for you input ladies, I will talk to my DH tonight about how we are going to go about it.