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had miscarriage 2 weeks ago Lock Rss

hi everyone,
i havent been on for a while as ive just been busy and trying to keep busy so i dont think about everything too much.
for those that have gone through this, how long were you feeling emotional and all that stuff.
I know people say it gets easier, but this has never happened to me, so i diddnt really know what to expect let alone expect it to happen.
at the moment i just feel empty, sad and disappointed all rolled into one. im lucky i can go to work everyday which takes my mind off how im feeling, but i still have to focus on my son and stay positive for him.
it just sux , cause i was just starting to get excited aobut being pregnant again, after getting over the shock of finding out that i was, but then everything happened so fast physically , one minute i was pregnant the next minute i wasnt. i guess im still trying to get my head around that.
i know we can try again , and we will but i cant even think about that yet, cause im still dealing with all these emotions. the ultrasound people said that i wsnt even 6 weeks cause they couldnt see anything in my uterus, let alone a heartbeat.even though it was early miscarriage , I still feel like i have lost something. Im glad we had only told a few of our friends, and other people because it would have been hard to tell them all what had happened.
anyway this is just a let out for me cause im feeling really emotional about it all and dont know how long im going to feel like it. i also have one other question for anyone who can answer it for me, when i had the ultrasounds they told me they could see some kind of cyst on one of my ovaries, has anyone else had this and what did it turn out to be if you dont mind me asking. i have been referred to see a Gynea for further investigation.
anyway thanks for listening, , rant over.... hope everyone else is doing ok.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.
Feeling sad/angry/disappointed/heartbroken or whatever else you're feeling is normal. No matter how early your pregnancy was, if you feel the need to grieve for your baby, then do it. It can be very helpful.
With my first MC, I was 11 weeks, but bub had only grown to a 6 and a half week size. It took me a long time to get over it, and some days I still don't feel like I am over it, almost a year later.
As far as trying again goes, don't let yourself feel any pressure about when to try again. When you and your partner are both ready, then go for it. You two are the only ones who will know when the time is right.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for about the cyst.
Sending you hugs.


quote name='baby12' date='24 February 2012 - 06:37 PM' Hi, I know exactly how your feeling! Before i had my beautiful second child i had a miscarriage. I had know idea what was happening! But i knew it wasnt good! Once i saw my docter he did blood test and said that my levels were a tiny bit up and went back a week later and they had gone back to normal sad. he said i need an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing left behind and that was hard to hear because that "nothing" was my baby!Anyway my doctor said i would have been around 8 to 10 weeks! And no it doesnt get easier but you just learn a different way to deal with it. i actually celebrate his/her birthday. i know it sucks and it hurts but you will meet them one day smile
Hugs sweetie xxx
I'm going threw my third right now sad
If your like me you go threw a stage of anger like why me then there is denial that there is a chance possibly my baby is ok then a tad of bitterness (the feeling I hate the most Im never the one to be bitter and hated feeling this)
Then I just was so sad but accepted that it happened and couldn't stop it no one could nothing could be done.

I'm still soo traumatized about putting my miscarriage into a jar for the pathology I'm still in shock but I know I had to do it for the generic testing.

All feelings you feel hun are normal don't try to fight them off they will fade eventually the pain may never leave I think I'm still cut up over the first 2.
But time will heal and ao will talking about it I talk to ladies on here who understand and it's very helpful instead of bottling it up.
You may come across some insensitive twats but ignore them they don't get it half the time.
We are always here sweetie a baby is a baby no matter the stage of development it's a baby loved and always will be xxx
thanks lovemylilbugs,
i have had alot of support in the last two weeks, especially from people i work with, cause that was where it started to happen, but i can relate to you putting it in a jar and sending the remains off for testing. we had the choice of doing that, but we chose not to, instead we have decided to find a place in our backyard and bury it, once we get a little rose or something. it is currently wrapped up in the pad, as it caame out and is in the freezer until we can do that. i dont really want to do that at the moment, . it feels like its been months since it happened not two weeks. the other issue that keeps going thruogh my head is that I am just about to turn 40 and i dont want what could have been to have been my last chance for another baby, if that makes sense, but at the same time Im worried that it could happen again.
thank you to everyone else for their kind words so far, it means alot cause i dont really have alot of friends around me who i can talk to.
Hi baby12,

I am so sorry ot hear of your loss. Miscarriage is such a heart-breaking, lonely, confusing and horrible thing.

The way you are feeling if absolutely OK. There is no right/wrong way to feel.

Don't expect too much, too soon. It has only been two weeks and everyone goes through different stages of grief for different periods of time.

For me, my m/c was the worst time of my life so far. I went through stages where I would do OK, then something would happen and I would fall back to the start and be a mess again. As time goes on, the things that set you off will become easier to handle. But you have to allow yourself to feel the range of feelings you will.

A few things that helped me was listening to a song that just happened to be playing a week or so after my m/c. It just summed up what I was feeling and I would play it every day, or when I was feeling a bit down. I bought a nice candle stick holder and a candle and at special times, like Christmas, or my baby's due date, I would light it.

As for trying again, you will know when you are ready for that again. You will be scared/apprehensive, it is only normal. But just try and focus on a good outcome and the positives as much as you can.


Make sure you look after yourself. I wish you all the best.
Sorry double post!
Sorry again!

thanks lovemylilbugs,
i have had alot of support in the last two weeks, especially from people i work with, cause that was where it started to happen, but i can relate to you putting it in a jar and sending the remains off for testing. we had the choice of doing that, but we chose not to, instead we have decided to find a place in our backyard and bury it, once we get a little rose or something. it is currently wrapped up in the pad, as it caame out and is in the freezer until we can do that. i dont really want to do that at the moment, . it feels like its been months since it happened not two weeks. the other issue that keeps going thruogh my head is that I am just about to turn 40 and i dont want what could have been to have been my last chance for another baby, if that makes sense, but at the same time Im worried that it could happen again.
thank you to everyone else for their kind words so far, it means alot cause i dont really have alot of friends around me who i can talk to.

Im very glad you have support hun,
Apart of me didn't want to let go of my baby and in a way disrespect my child by putting it in a jar to be later poked and prodded at in a way I felt so awful putting it "threw more pain" and when I write that it's impossible for that happen but I still felt like I had to protect him or her!!
It's taken a couple of days to realize I did it so his or hers future brother or sister will have a chance.
I admire what you did sweetie its easy to of flushed the toilet button and deny it all happened but you will put your angel to rest and it may help and give you a type of closure xxx
If your worried about future ones tell your doctor he might just give you tests for hormonal imbalances or even see a naturopath. We are now going threw all types of help a member on here del has a wonderful vitamin combo that has helped women on here.
It's hard to think positive but sweetie we will get our sticky bubbas
..

Hi baby12,

I am so sorry ot hear of your loss. Miscarriage is such a heart-breaking, lonely, confusing and horrible thing.

The way you are feeling if absolutely OK. There is no right/wrong way to feel.

Don't expect too much, too soon. It has only been two weeks and everyone goes through different stages of grief for different periods of time.

For me, my m/c was the worst time of my life so far. I went through stages where I would do OK, then something would happen and I would fall back to the start and be a mess again. As time goes on, the things that set you off will become easier to handle. But you have to allow yourself to feel the range of feelings you will.

A few things that helped me was listening to a song that just happened to be playing a week or so after my m/c. It just summed up what I was feeling and I would play it every day, or when I was feeling a bit down. I bought a nice candle stick holder and a candle and at special times, like Christmas, or my baby's due date, I would light it.

As for trying again, you will know when you are ready for that again. You will be scared/apprehensive, it is only normal. But just try and focus on a good outcome and the positives as much as you can.


Make sure you look after yourself. I wish you all the best.

Hey loz
I thought you might like to know that October 15th is miscarriage and still birth remembrance day (not recognized by our own government sadly though)
You light a candle at 7.00pm for your angel and keep it burning for a hour so around the world a candle will continuesly burn for our angel babies I really wished they supported it here you can go online and purchase pink and blue ribbons as well I only knew of this after my 1st miscarriage.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this sad

I had 3 miscarriages between my DD and DS and can totally relate to how you are feeling. For me, it helps to think that those 3 little ones were actually the same little soul trying to make its way into our family, and that little soul is now our DS.

After the 3rd loss it also really helped me to write a letter to my lost babies. I burnt it and scattered the ashes into the wind. Not long after we conceived DS. I also bought a star charm for each loss, and it helps me to have a physical reminder that they were real, even though it was for a very short time.

I hope you find peace and I wish you the very best xxx
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