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why so different? Lock Rss

When pregnant with twins we lost one at 15wks, the surviving twin had a natural birth and is very healthy. The hospital told us that the demised twin would be disposed of with medical waste. Not long ago my sister lost a singleton at the same stage, 15wks. They were told they had to register him, and he had a burial. Both were things we had asked about and we were told that we were allowed to do…. Just wondering if anyone knows why the twin was treated differently to the single and if we should look into it.

When pregnant with twins we lost one at 15wks, the surviving twin had a natural birth and is very healthy. The hospital told us that the demised twin would be disposed of with medical waste. Not long ago my sister lost a singleton at the same stage, 15wks. They were told they had to register him, and he had a burial. Both were things we had asked about and we were told that we were allowed to do…. Just wondering if anyone knows why the twin was treated differently to the single and if we should look into it.


Hi

As far as I'm aware its only once baby is 20 weeks + that they register the birth and you can if you wish have a funeral, you do have to arrange cremation/burial.

I think perhaps she might have requested to have a burial and possibly they allowed this but I dont think its a legal requirement.

http://www.sandsvic.org.au/page/NeedHelpNow/ - scroll right down the page to find info.
Sorry for your loss sad
I don't really have the answer, but like the previous post says, as far as I'm aware before 20wks is classed as a miscarriage (therefore not registed), and 20wks+ is classed as a stillborn- where the child is registed.
Although in saying that, I have read sooooo many posts on huggies from women saying they miscarried at 8, 12, 15 etc wks and named their babies and buried them....???
Does your sister live in a different state or country?? Maybe its different depending where you live??
I cant believe you were not given the option of burying your baby. I miscarried a baby boy at 18 and a half weeks and i was asked what i wanted to do with him. I opted to have him cremated and kept his ashes. I was told i couldnt register his birth because he wasnt 20 weeks but he was still my baby, i delivered him and held him there was no way i was going to dispose of him...hated the way they asked. You should have had the same option. I even had to fill out paperwork to have him released to the funeral home. Not sure why you guys were treated differently but i would be looking into.

I cant believe you were not given the option of burying your baby. I miscarried a baby boy at 18 and a half weeks and i was asked what i wanted to do with him. I opted to have him cremated and kept his ashes. I was told i couldnt register his birth because he wasnt 20 weeks but he was still my baby, i delivered him and held him there was no way i was going to dispose of him...hated the way they asked. You should have had the same option. I even had to fill out paperwork to have him released to the funeral home. Not sure why you guys were treated differently but i would be looking into.



Firstly I must say how sorry I am for your loss sad secondly, I agree here with pp
We lost twins, one in dec 08 at 11w then sadly the other in feb 09 at 19w5d. I naturally delivered him and both dh and I got to hold him & spend time with him before they took him away. We had an option to have an autopsy done but I flat out refused, I didn't want my son to go through anything more, no matter what.
We were told we'd be able to register the birth & get a death certificate only to then have someone come back and tell us no sorry you weren't 20 weeks! Like I wasn't going through enough pain and to then be made to feel like my pregnancy didn't exist sad
We chose to have our son cremated and his ashes brought home where he belongs with mummy and daddy
I too believe you should of had the same option, your baby or any baby born before 20w should not be disposed of. I would be lookIng into it too. I hope you get answers smile



Hi hun

That is shocking that the hopital did not let you keep the reamins of your lost twin, or at least take home your placenta for cremation etc. In N.Z you can only register a birth if bubs is over a certain weight or over 20 weeks. I sadly lost my twin boy Harrison at just under 20 weeks we went on to deliver his identical twin brother Joshua by c section. We had a plan in place with both the midwife and the hospital, we were able to take in a small basket and we spent time with both the boys together and were able to photograph Harrison etc, we had him cremated.
You must feel so robbed hun and rightly so, If I was you I would be talking to someone high up in the hospital and laying a complaint. We did also have plans that if Harrison was to small to cremate or too badly demised that we would go out and buy a special outfit and bury it and plant a tree above. If I was you I would try talking to someone about ways to get some closure, and grieve as you must be feeling very cheated. If you need to talk feel free to P.M me. I have felt the loss you feel and the feeling of physically carrying around life and death at the same time, My heart goes out to you for your loss.
Just wondering if you were able to get photos and spend time with the baby. I am not sure how big your little bubby would have been at 15 weeks but i was able to hold my baby and take pictures, i was also given an entire album of photos, foot and handprints and hospital bands all with his name done up like a scrap book i also spent the entire night with him before he was taken away. I think it was very insensitive of the hospital if you didnt get to do any of those things.
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