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Friends 12 week old passed away unsure what to do Lock Rss

One of my bestys has a son who was 12 weeks old and passed away suddenly. I had talked to her on yhe phone the night beforeand she had really turned her life round i am so proud that she finally settled down and things were going her way. I am 35 weeks and live in welly and she lives in paeroa the funeral is wednesday i cant get up to her but also dont want to be insensitive because i am pregnant still and i dont want her to feel like im rubbing salt in to the wound. At the same time not being there is insensitive because shes my friend.

I want to do something for herbut i dont know wat to do. At the moment i text her in the morning and at night letting her know shes on my mind and im thinking of her. Any suggestions on things i could do for her
Firstly sorry to hear about that, it's a really hard thing to hear and I can't imagine how hard it must be for her.

Personally what I would do, espec if it was one of my besties would I would write her a card just saying deep down what you wanna say and that you'll be there for her when she needs you to be. Coz right now there'll be lots of people but soon she'll need someone to turn to.

I personally think it will hard for her seeing you pregnant or with bub but I don't think she will think you're rubbing salt in the wound purposefully.

Take care xoxo

One of my bestys has a son who was 12 weeks old and passed away suddenly. I had talked to her on yhe phone the night beforeand she had really turned her life round i am so proud that she finally settled down and things were going her way. I am 35 weeks and live in welly and she lives in paeroa the funeral is wednesday i cant get up to her but also dont want to be insensitive because i am pregnant still and i dont want her to feel like im rubbing salt in to the wound. At the same time not being there is insensitive because shes my friend.

I want to do something for herbut i dont know wat to do. At the moment i text her in the morning and at night letting her know shes on my mind and im thinking of her. Any suggestions on things i could do for her


What a tragedy, how heartbreaking.

I dont think your being pregnant would rub salt into her wounds, if it is at all possible I'd attend the funeral. If you cant then send her flowers and a sympathy card - acknowledgement of her loss is important, even though it seems such a small gesture.

I'm not sure texting is a great thing, I realise you want to let her know you are thinking of her but at this point she's probably in shock and her world is spinning. I'd call and speak to her in person and let her know if you cannot make the funeral and offer condolences etc and then when you are able go see her and then as time goes by stay in touch - by phone, not text - to me that's just a bit impersonal for the situation.

All the best, no words can really say what a devastating thing this is or how sorry I am to hear of your friends loss, just so so sad.
I'm so sorry for your friends loss, I can't imagine what she's going through right now. If attending the funeral is impossible then I would send flowers and a card letting her know that your thinking of her and always there when ever she needs. Maybe you could offer to visit her when you get the chance or have her stay with you. It's hard to say without knowing her in regards to how she would be feeling towards you being pregnant. People deal with it in such different ways.



first of all, im sorry for your friends loss, we lost our 10 week old in feb to cot death and i can say, my two best friends were at my boys funeral and they were pregnant, i just needed them.

she will be in shock, numb for most of it and will def need you when every one goes, every one is there at the begining and then it becomes quiet..... that is when it is hard.... that is when she will need you XXX

hugs as you go through this XXXX
My suggestion would be speaking with her and ask how she would feel. Would she prefer you there or not. tell her either way your there but its her choice as to whether you be there physically and then say that you want it from her honestly and you will not be offended.

first of all, im sorry for your friends loss, we lost our 10 week old in feb to cot death and i can say, my two best friends were at my boys funeral and they were pregnant, i just needed them.

she will be in shock, numb for most of it and will def need you when every one goes, every one is there at the begining and then it becomes quiet..... that is when it is hard.... that is when she will need you XXX

hugs as you go through this XXXX


I agree with fairygirl, I lost my 5 week old to cotdeath 4 and a half years ago and at his funeral were babies,that was the hardest to see.i struggled going out because all I saw were pregnant women and babies. when the funeral is over it does go quiet,people go back to their own worlds while us parents who have lost babies,the world stops spinning for a while at least.Last year i attended a funeral of a baby that died,i was pregnant at the time,i felt awkward at first,i gave her a big hug and never talked about my expecting baby,just expressed my condolonces.I dont see a big problem with texts, but i would send flowers, a sympathy card and a good phone convo does wonders if you cant attend the funeral
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