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having trouble getting over a miscarriage Lock Rss

hi, im 24 and have 2 beautiful children, recently had a miscarriage sad which led to D&C, am struggling to talk about it and finding it hard to get off my mind. is there any one who has gone through this or something similar, feel like some times im losing the plot.
please help
Hi Manda, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm 30 and have a gorgeous DD 19 months.

I miscarried my 2nd bub on Father's Day (should have been 10 weeks but bubs only measured 7). Under my doctor's advice I have been letting things happen naturally. Today is 2 weeks since the miscarriage and I am going for a scan to check out whether nature has done it's job- if not I will be going for a D&C today.

I am also finding it so much harder than I thought I would. I feel as though people probably think I should be getting over it and I still just feel so very sad. I've tried to talk about it to people as i feel that's probably the best way to work through things and the more people I talk to the more people I find have been in the same boat as me which is comforting to know!

You are not losing the plot! This experience is truly one of the most difficult I have ever been through. It's different to losing a friend or a relative- a part of us has died and along with it, a dream of holding another precious person in our arms.

I would be glad to chat with you here or PM me (if the damn thing is working now!?) anytime.

Take care sweetie
x
Hi Manda,

I am so sorry for your loss.

First of all you are not loosing the plot! You need to deal with your loss in whichever way is best for you and no-one can tell you how you should/shouldn't be feeling and reacting, including yourself.

This is a very difficult time for you, I know. I too lost my baby and had a D&C last week. I would have been 20 week pregnant now. At my ultrasound last week, I was told that my baby had stopped growing and had passed away. I don't know when, I don't know why and I don't know how.

I understand your pain. Having this happen and your feelings of anger, furstration and confusion as to why this happened, how this happend and why it happened to you.

One thing that is helping me deal with my loss is trying to put it into a positive light. Our 'peanut', just like your little one was just too good for the world and was destined for much bugger and better things. I also believe that although we don't know the cause of our baby's passing, I did everything I could to give it a comfortable and cozy life inside my whomb. It was loved from day 1 and will be loved forever. If in the comfort cozy confines of my whomb, our little baby could not survive, then this nasty, cruel world is no place for my little angel and I am greatful that it hasn't had to suffer in it.

I am looking forward to the future with excitement and anticipation. I am up for the challenge of doing it again and having my baby. It will be hard when it does happen, to relax and feel at ease with a future pregnancy, but I know with the support of my husband, we will get there.

I am also planning on seeing a councellor, just to make sure that I have worked through my grief and that we are emotionally ready to try again, when we have decided the time is right. Maybe this is something worth considering. Your GP, or OB should be able to put you onto someone that can help in this situation.

I wish you all the very best and pass on my deepest sympathies for your loss and I am happy to talk more if you want/need to.

Laura.
I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. Its is horrible that this happens to us all.
Laura you are so positive considering you are only 1 week out from your miscarriage. I really wish I could think the way you do, but at 7 weeks out I am so bitter an angry its just so unfair that this happens to us.
I get so angry when I hear other women say to me that they are pregnant and it was an accident and really don't want it.

I too constantly think about my little bub that hasn't made it. I cry myself to sleep at night, but I have to wait for hubby to get to sleep before I can let it out cause he doesn't understand that I feel this way 7 weeks on. I guess a man could never really understand what it is like to carry life inside of you.

Mine was also a missed m/c. My bub had died 5 weeks earlier and I never knew a thing. I feel like such a fool, like I should have known.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Manda, I really hope it gets easier for you.
Hugs xx

Hey i'm 26 and have a 2.5yr old DD and misscarried twice after her. The first was at 10wks, the 2nd at 5/6wks. I found the first m/c really hard, I had a D&C as a didn't think I could cope with passing my baby naturally. Mine was a missed m/c too, so had no idea that I had lost my baby until I went in for a routine check up and ultrasound.

I cried when I walked into the hospital for the D&C and cried as they were putting me under and then cired again when they woke me up in recovery saying everthing was done. Ithink i then cried myslelf to sleep for a few weeks.

It is really heart breaking and don't feel like your loosing the plot. It is a lot to deal with and everyone deals with differently. It was weeks before I could talk about it and not cry.

For me the best thing was to start trying again so I was eagerly waiting for my cycle to start again. But everyone is different and you may want to wait, that is fine too. I concieved and miscarried and then concieved again very quickly (1st m/c was october, 2nd Dec and preg in jan) and am now having my baby on wednesday.

I still think about my babies and have a little angel pendent to remember them. Give yourself time it happens to a lot more people than you think and you will find when you can talk about it that a lot of family and friends will have been there too.

Big hugs xx

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Hi

I feel your pain. I'm 31 and have an 18 month old, but we lost 2 lots of twins and also the twin to my daughter.

The first was incredibly hard but we just kept on chugging and tried again. I hope this doesn't sound horrible, but my thought has always been that it is probably best in the long run because there would have had to be something seriously wrong with them to have lost them and it wouldn't have been fair on them to have a life filled with serious illness. It helped us to carry on anyway knowing they were in a better place.

The first miscarrage happened naturally, they gave me the drugs to take and the second the drugs didn't work so had to have a dnc. I think that was the hardest part.

I hope it gets easier for you and just know that people are thinking of you.

ooo
Wendy
hi every one,
thank you all so much for your support, and beautiful kind words.
deepest sympathy to all for their loss.

i guess this will be something i will never forget it will always be apart of me, it has been a few months now and still feels like it was yesterday sad i have my bad days and just like to sit and have a cry but i am thinking of going to talk to my gp about going to see if i can talk to some one about my loss, i think it only made it that little bit harder that i lost my aunty and my nan and my precious little angel all so close together.

me and my husband are going through a very rough patch atm and im unsure what to do sad

once again thank you all so much xxxxx
Hi sorry for your loss, but i can relate to this, i have 3 kiddies already, and misscarried at the start of the yr and even to this day i have a hard time letting it go, and DH i dont think understands how affecting it casn be on a women.... we re all here to talk and listen....
Hello hun, I am so sorry you had to go through that.

I have been there myself in April last year. I had some early bleeding bit after an ultrasound they found a heartbeat and said my beautiful baby and I were fine. He was our little miricle baby, he was conceived on valentines day and due on my fathers birthday, he was so special to us.

Then when I was nearly 11 weeks things took a turn for the worse. The day I started bleeding I seen the doctor and he said I was fine and "I was just a bleeder as it is very common" we had already planned our camping trip and he said I was fine to go.

I had bleeding the whole time but not alot, then it stoppped for the night and I couldnt have been more relieved. Only that in the morning I got terrible camps, was like a period from hell. My partner rushed me to the nearest hospital which was 20 minutes away while it was getting worse. We were both so scared that neither of us could say anything. As soon as I got to the hospital and onto the bed I lost our son.

I had alot of problems and was passing clots the size of footballs for hours till 6 hours later they sent me to a large hospital for a D&C. The doctor there was a lovely woman that couldnt have been more helpful, I will forever be greatful to her for her kidness at that time.

We found out that we had a little boy, which made me happy cause I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant it was a boy. We named him Ezekiel which means Strength. I think it was very important for us to give our son a name, I could never refer to him as "it" but every person is different with how they cope.

I just found never to listen to people that dont know. I had a friend tell me "that it wasnt a real baby anyway" and all I could do was walk away cause I was so mad. I've also been called morbid by having a charm of an angel on my braclet as a reminder of him. Im also planning on having a tattoo of an angel on my back cause I know he is always watching over me.

Loosing a child is the hardest thing a mother will ever have to do. I must say I dont like telling my story to much but I do think it is important for people to know. Because I remember when I was scared and didnt know what to expect, people just told me "to go with it and you will know" that wasnt helpful and the time and made me more scared. No mother should feel that way.

I am so sorry for the loss of your little angel, but celebrate them anyway you want to. Dont let other people tell you how you should react to this, if you want to keep you baby and memories to yourself do it, if you want to get a tattoo of them name on your forhead do it! If you dont want to give them a name and just let them be do that too. Whatever you are comfortable with, you are their mum and it is your choice what you would like to do.

It does get easier with time but you will never forget your little angel. I wish you all the best of luck
xxx
hey Manda, i am very sorry for your loss. i understand it too. I made triplets all by myself last year, then lost them early on. then in feb this year another miscarriage. 2 D&C later i am happily pregnant and feel all is finally well. It is very hard to say its ok when its clearly not. Only those who have felt the loss have any idea. i feel for you. My grace was i have a beautiful boy who is seven now. Will you try again? I hope you do. I am glad i did. My losses were from an undiagnosed liver and pancreas disease which i underwent tow ops for and am now in remission for. Thsi time it will be so different. It is ok to cry. I did. It is not ok to not talk to your family. They need to know how you are feeling so they can console you. Mine did and i got through ok. I hate it when they say it wasnt a real baby. My triplets were only 2 months but very real to me. My feb baby was 9 weeks and i saw its heart beating. A week later it was gone. Hang in there.

Stay well. gerry xxx

gerrynsw6mntholdbaby

Hello I am Pamela and I am 29. I have 2 wonderful boys wo are 7 and 5 and I had a miscarrage on the 12-12-11. I been a mess I feel like running away from it all the only thing holding me together is my kids without their cuddles I could not cope. My hubby and I wanted to fall pregnant 3 years ago and the the day come and at 20 weeks I deliverd my baby. I try not to cry around both my hubby and kids and cry myself to sleep of a night time.

The thing that makes me upset is why my first to children was easy pregnancies I mean they was both healthy and besides getting fat you didn't know I was pregnant.

My hubby tells me he never wants to go through that again all I want is a baby and of that means going through this again so be it.

I don't know what a d&c is as I deliverd my baby which was still in the sack and they told me all had came out like a normal delivery. I need someone to talk to as well as I only have my mum who's been through this so of you need someone I more then happy to be their with you.

Lots of hugs and love your way

TTC a baby girl
https://www.facebook.com/Homemade.by.pamela

im sorry to hear such sad stories sad but in a way i am so thankful i am not the only person who has lost a little angel that they had hoped for, feel free to message me or email me if any of you would like to talk ( not sure if my e-mail address shows up)?

im so nervous atm i have fallen pregnant, and am so worried and stressed that i could have to go through losing another part of me, currently 11 weeks , and go for my first scan next week, roughly the same time i lost my last little one. got fingers and toes crossed
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