D&C Monday no support - sorry long post/vent

Sorry to all but no where else to vent. Found out last Friday I was pregnant only to find out Monday that it was probably a blighted ovum. This was confirmed today so am scheduled for a curette on Monday. My hubby is so gorgeous but with this impending miscarriage he has benn of no support to me just keeps saying you're not going to be one of 'those people' (the ones that get depressed) are you, there will be more pregnancies. Well I'm sorry I wanted this pregnancy, I would happily have morning sickness for 9 months to keep this pregnancy. I am just so angry at this loss. I know I am not the only one who goes through this but it doesn't make my pain any easier. He doesn't even think it right to take the day off work on Monday to be there with me. Can't imagine anything more isolating to have your undeveloped baby taken and no one there when you wake up from the anaesthetic. So he can take me to ths hopsital but I would have to go 1 hr earlier so he can get to work on time, then possibly finish by 3pm to come and pick me up, fat lot of ood that's going to do. just need to get this off my chest or else I am going to blow up. Don;t get me wrong 99% of the time he is fantastic but the time now that I really need him, he can't be there, I don't think I should have to ask him to be there he should want to be there for me, after all it would have been his baby too.
Narelle

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it could be his way of dealing with it.

my DH was pretty good when we had our first miscarrage (first baby) but when we had our second miscarrage (third baby) he was useless i had an 11 month old to look afetr i was 12 weeks when i lost it so was in a fair bit of pain but he didnt even get out of bed.
he got out of bed to go to work he said he wouldnt be able to take the day off so i had to call my mum to come to the hospital with me and look after DS.

though men dont seem to feel the way we do. they dont realy connect where as we connect the moment we find out we are pregnant.

you will be fine in time and go on to have lovely babies.
i have 2 now and am expecting my third.

Narelle

If you can, please try and reach out to him to tell him how you are feeling and what you need. Sometimes blokes are hopeless especially in difficult situations. If he is a 99% good bloke, give him a chance. I know its frustrating, but I bet he has no idea what to say or do. And if he is worried about you getting depressed, tell him you are less likely to if you get support from him!!

I had 2 m/c in 2004, then fell pregnant and had my DD (now 1yo) and am 18 weeks pregnant again. I know that each and every pregnancy will have a special place in my heart. Know that you don't have to move on from the feelings you have about this baby, til you are ready. Its a terribly sad time, and such a lonely experience. You need someone to confide in, whether its your DH or a friend, family member, or someone else.

People will say stupid things cos they don't know how to react. I know that being told you'll have other babies in the future does not ease the pain of this loss. But in time, stories like mine and other mums who miscarried but have since had babies, will give you strength and hope - if and when - you are ready to try again.

But for now, just focus on you, and your DH. If he can't be there for you, lean on friends or family, and the girls here are great too smile

Take care, Claire

Narelle,
Im sorry to hear about your blighted ovum.
tell hubby that you will be one of those "DEPRESSED" ladies if his butt is not there to care for you b4 and after your op. Some men , most men just wernt born with any sensitivity,. I had a blighted ovum this year, and my husband suggested my mum go with me so he didnt have to miss any work, well one death stare , and he was there by my side , where he need to be.... I hope yours will be too... Dont be on your own.

Hi all
Thansk soooo much for all your advice.
My hubby did come with me, which really helped. I was very brave and actually feel a lot better now, at least no more morning sickness. Wish me luck for next time around. I hope everything works out for all of you, your advice has benn much appreciated
Thanks again
Narelle

glad to hear it all went well and your feeling good, and your DH came in with you.
good luck for next time.