I think you need to prepare yourself for a birth at home or in the car so you aren't freaked out by it. You might not want one, but given your history and where you live - its a possibility.
As the other poster said, you can have your cervix checked, but it just isn't reliable at all. Even if its your ob or midwife, the more often you stick something up your vagina, the more you increase your risk of infection which is obviously the last thing you want to do when pregnant. Even if it is the gloved hand of a professional....
Its the sort of thing that makes you feel more in control, but doesn't actually make sense given how unreliable it is. Obviously if they check it and happen to be 8 cm, well you can do something about it. But it is really common for women to be dilating in the weeks before especially with subsequent pregnancies.
I totally understand why you would have just done what they said the first time in regards to breaking your waters. I wasn't having a go. I just thought they might have given you a reason. However this time I am confused as to why would you have your waters broken at all? usually it is to get things moving if they aren't. If you are 9cm why would you need them to be broken? Your body obviously works beautifully, maybe you could just let it do its thing?
If you definitely don't want to prepare for an accidental homebirth and you don't want to be induced and you know checking the cervix isn't much to go by, then it sounds like you either need to find a midwife/dr/ambulance near your place who can get to you asap in an emergency, or you stay somewhere closer to the hospital.
If you rely on checking the cervix, what happens when they check it in the morning and you are 2cm. Will you go home, book yourself into hospital? I will just say that a lot of women are 2cm dilated and can be for weeks. Or they can dilate pretty fast and have a baby that night. Thats what I mean by it being unreliable.