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  5. PLEASE HELP- im in so much pain feeding :-(

PLEASE HELP- im in so much pain feeding :-( Rss

I have a 4week old & im about to throw in the towel breast feeding. I have gone from one extreme to another- had mastastis then not enough milk, Ive had blisters (still do) & cracked nipples & then got breast feeding thrush (which Id never even heard of) OMG the pain- feels like im being stabbed deep inside my boob/back each feed,now also got shooting pains in my elbow/arm. I have had cream from my midwife for a week & STILL in agony & not gone. My son has got drops even though hes not showing symptoms just to be safe- I googled & am doing everything I possibly can. Taking probiotics, washing my hands a million times a day, changing breast pads every single feed (which is alot) washing my nipples before & after feed with water & vinegar solution. I am now missing a chunk of nipple & I just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel... I REALLY want to breast feed my son any advice would just be so so appreciated, i feel like a failure, my husband keeps telling me im doing amazing & formula is fine but i just cant help but feel like people will judge me if I give up & that im not doing whats best for my son.... Thanks in advance xxxxx
You poor thing! Sounds very very painful! Is it possible to see a lactation consultant/receive some treatment? I haven't been there myself, but have heard of others receiving laser treatment and it made a WORLD of difference. If your nipples are really raw, you could also use a nipple shield to allow them to heal or express for a while & give by bottle (up to you).

Going to formula is also fine. Don't let other people's opinions affect what you decide is best for your son AND for you. As much as it's important to take care of your son, you also need to care for yourself smile I'm glad your husband is very supportive - no mum is a failure for not breastfeeding; every lady and every child is different, and you need to find what is really the best for you both.

Hope you can get some help & healing xx
Thanks smile Have tried nipple shields (still using them on one side as nipple is super flat there) & have also been expressing & bottle feeding when its really bad- eg today when he has been feeding for around 8hours so far!!!! arhhhhh. I also have a 2year old & its really hard being in so much pain im in tears every feed :-/ x
I feel for you! It can be really hard work.

I can't help with the mastitis as I didn't have that and don't know anything about it...

But....

Have you tried lansinoh? I found that really helpful for sore nipples, even expressing a little breast milk and rubbing it on your nipples and letting them 'air' can help. (Gosh, don't you love how dignified motherhood is?!)

Nipple shields helped me tremendously just to let myself heal, and then I would use them just to get the feed going and then take them off as they can affect your supply.

You could just express a little to be comfortable on the really sore nipple and feed out of the other side until its healed. It usually takes 24 hours to heal up.

I would speak to a lactation consultant if you can, maybe they could help with your attachment?

Try a different position? My boy would only feed 'football' hold for the first few weeks.

Nothing wrong with formula, and its nice your husband is being supportive smile

I BF 2 babies and found the first 6 weeks I wanted to give up and so hard. For me it seemed to just click at 6 weeks and then was easy.

Your doing a great job smile
You really shouldn't be in that much pain every time you feed :/ I think for me that would be reason enough to turn to bottle feeding - it's horrible if you can't enjoy your little one because of feeding issues. Did you get breastfeeding support/lactation consultant info from the hospital? Even if there's a hotline you can ring, because I think you really need to get some professional help xx
Oh and is mastitis still a problem?
That is why I gave up. You are not a fsilure you have done so well to get as far as you did! People think because we can have babies we can breastfeed but that is not slways the case. You need to do whats right fir you and no one shoukd judge you this a time you should be enjoying your baby. There is nothing wrong with formula plenty of babies have it and plenty of them are big and healthy you have given your baby a great start and you should be proud of thst!!!
I got to the point that I was dreading the next feed with my little one and my goodness, I felt so guilty at my lack of success that I was close to a breakdown. In the end I used a breast pump for many months and gave my baby my EBM via a bottle. That way he still got the benefits of the milk. As the months went by, my supply reduced so I had to top up with formula. It took me a while to come to terms with due to my guilty feelings.

FYI - Pumping has it's drawbacks as well. There will be no "sleep when baby sleeps" because you'll have to pump, wash and sterilise your pumping and feeding equipment many times each day. Including in the middle of the night.

My advice to you is to do what is best for you and your baby. If that is to preserver, choose to pump or choose to formula feed, then do what you need to. Only you can decide that. If others choose to judge, just remove yourself from their presence. You don't need them. They don't know you. They don't matter. It was FAR better for both my little one and I when I switched to pumping. Having a highly strung, perpetually sobbing mother on the verge of a breakdown wasn't good for either of us.

The best advice I received was from my paediatrician who said he'd seem thousands of children in his years as a doctor and he could never, EVER, tell the difference between a child who was breastfed and one who was bottle fed. He demanded me not to feel guilty. Not even for a second. If I could re-do it again, I'd choose the same path and the endless pumping but this time without the guilt.

Good luck with everything. Take care and don't forget to look after yourself as well as you little bundle x
Thanks everyone, Its really emotionally draining! I exclusively pumped with my now 2year old-8x a day for 6months (he was prem & sick was never strong enough to breastfeed) I know I cant do this again as I now have 2kids to look after & it takes sooooo much time & it really took its toll on my sanity. I think im being so hard on myself as I did put in so much effort for my first son for so long its like I owe it to my other son to do the same? I would honestly prefer to be back in labour- thats how much pain im in.Im sore as I type this just having my top on. I guess I just thought that Id be fine to breastfeed as my second baby was born so much bigger & healthy.... I know im being too hard on myself- but I think thats what we all do as Mums. My midwife is coming around this arvo so will have a big talk to her, am also going to ask about a tongue tie as it feels like hes 'chewing' & not sucking if that makes sense? aarrhhhh xx
Mamalovexoxoxox wrote:
Am also going to ask about a tongue tie as it feels like hes 'chewing' & not sucking if that makes sense? aarrhhhh xx

Good on you! Def ask about that! I hope you get it sorted soon.

smile
Hi Mamalove

My little girl is 3 weeks and I gave up breast feeding, it was painful for me as well and I didn't enjoy it at all. Thought it was something that would just naturally come to mums. I am a first time mum and after seeing the midwives about my nipples and googling so much I found myself feeling very despondent. I spoke to my GP and ended up crying to everyone that mentioned breastfeeding. Baby latched on incorrectly in hospital and damaged my nipples every feed was painful. I feel for you as this was a challenge for me. I had to just relax about the situation and made up my mind. I use formula and even though I still make myself upset about not being strong enough to breastfeed I know baby is getting her feeds in and I bond with her bottle feeding.

All I can say is stick to what you truly want to do and don't stress over it if you go to formula.
Hi Mamalove, I know where you're coming from a bit. My son wouldn't feed from me - refused to attach and when he sucked on the shield, it wasn't strong enough to properly feed. So I, too, fed him by expressed milk for 7 months. Expecting #2 now, and if it's the same story then I know I can't do it all over again having another child running around & needing attention. Just remember that formula is not failure; what's most important is that you're in the best shape to meet both your children's needs smile x
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