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Struggling Lock Rss

hey there,
im struggling right now. im a young parent of 2 that got diagnosed with PND 3 months after my first child, things got better after about 6-7 months (got put onto meds and they helped heaps) and i fell in love with him (finally) my partner and i then decided to have another and got pregnant the first try, things have been going well with him until just over a month ago, i started struggling with loving my children, with my feelings towards them and trying to stay there for them.

my youngest is now 4 months and i currently feel like i want to run away, i want to leave them and think that they are better with their father. i know in my head that the way i am feeling is not right and not true! i know deep down that i love my kids but i just feel like i HATE them (sorry for the capitals but i just really dislike my kids right now).

i have told a few people and am trying to deal with the situation, i have gone to the docs to change my meds and im trying to go to a councilor, i have plunket checking up on me every couple of days, but i am really struggling!!

please can anyone give me some help in trying to finds ways of dealing with this or have/are going through the same thing?
I haven't been through this myself, but I couldn't read and not reply.
hopefully one of the other ladies on here may have some advice.
do you have friends and family to support u?
Could u try getting out of the house each day (if u aren't) just for some fresh air.
is the a playgroup nearby? Plunket run our local one, I find it really helps, ds can play and I get a chance for a cup of smile
I hope you are not feeling too awful today

Firstly, don't give up girl. Things get better. I was in your boat this time last year only I didn't hate my baby, (I don't think you do either but PND is very bewildering and you can find yourself thinking very bizarre things) I did hate myself though and couldn't see any way I was ever going to feel better again. My partner had to work most of the time so I was left alone with dd all day with no family and my friends all drifted away. The psychologists tried to help but it was difficult to find one who was actually helping the situation and not just trying to cover my symptoms with medications. I went from a pretty social person to not wanting to leave the house at all and wondering if my dd was better off without me. It was only the fear of what would happen to her if I wasn't here that kept me here I think. The doctor put me on the contraceptive pill Levlon after I had finished breastfeeding, I'd recommenced you avoid this pill as it turned me into a crazy woman (and I have heard other ladies say they were affected badly by it as well) You have to remember that no matter how bad you feel, those feelings aren't real. It's the chemicals and hormones in your brain that are out of whack and once they level out again you can enjoy being a mum. You need to fight for yourself though, even though you don't feel strong enough to. I had to force myself to go for a long walk everyday, exercise and eat right. Sunshine and fresh air can do wonders for you, even if you can't feel the effects at the time. Go online and research everything. Understanding what is going on is your best defence and again, you can and WILL get better. PM if you ever want to talk, surround yourself with people who can make you laugh and accept any help that is offered as you are doing it for your family as much as yourself. Hope you feel better soon. X

Oh gosh gbh, I got diagnosed with pnd after my 3rd bub was born but through my psychologist I found that I'd actually been suffering since my first bub who is almost 6yrs old. I'd just been hiding the fact I'd been depressed & isolated. I've been having the same feelings as you lately that my kids would be better off with out me & that I don't want to be here but the fear of not knowing what would happen to my kids is what getting rid of some of my crazy thoughts. its horrible I have gone almost 16mths with out needing any antidepressants but I've now started them about 4wks ago & I'm still struggling. I also have to contend with the fact my husband had an affair on me when our 3rd bub was only about 6wks old. I have the merina in & I swear its making me go crazy I'd love to have it removed but I don't want any mor babies & dh refuses to get the snip & can't use condoms.
If seeing a psychologist is expensive try smile
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