Hi, its been 12mths since I found out my husband had an affair with 1 of staff members. I had just had our 3rd child & I was suffering from pnd. I had been suffering pnd pretty much since I had our 1st child in 2008 but had hid that I was cause of him & his family & that they don't believe in depression. My husband had alway been ur the mum u do all the house things I got to work to bring home the $$. He never understood that when u become a mum that u lose ur independence & pretty much ur whole identity. My sister kept asking me did I think he was having an affair & I would never believe he would he had been very distant was un interested in being at home. I was become more & more agro. The 1st wkend after I'd had our 3rd bub he went out with mates drinking & this continued for about the 1st 5wks. It was as if he was abandoning us he was acting completely out of character as he was never a huge drinker he had started smoking. I knew deep down something wasn't right but I didn't know what. He had come home from wrk one night & I went through his phone while he was in the toilet & found a txt message form her I questioned It & we ended up having a massive blow up & he thought things were going to be on track. I rung her the nxt day & she denied (like hubby did) that anything was has been happening & it was all her having the feelings etc & he had never reciprocated them towards her & sh e just kept saying that I know how lucky I was to have a husband like him(real lucky to have a husband that screws around behind ur back) later that morning I rung him & told him we needed to go to marriage counselling he refused & I just kept pressing & pressing till he finally admitted he had slept with her, I told him it was over. He stuck up for her & never sacked her & carried on for about a wk as if he had actually done nothing wrong. I ended up sacking her (even though it was not position to do so). After a wk we had been talking on the ph heaps trying to work out what had gone wrong. We went away for 4nights as a family to see if we could sort things out. It was our 11the wedding anniversary while we were away. He was in the shower & his ph went off she had sent him a txt saying hey how's thighs what's happening ur killing me here. I rung her back & went off @ her then went off at him. I thought the contact had stopped. I asked him to do 3 things for me to help me try & work through all of this 1. cut all contact 2. change his phone number 3. come to marriage counselling, he did none of these straight away he finally changed his mobile number about 4mths down the track after he got abusive txt messages & phone calls at 2am from her & her drunk friends & her partner (yes she was in a long relationship with 2kids also) the contact did stop after she had returned her uniforms. he still has not come to counselling. Hubby had been depressed he wasn't happy in his shop we had been trying to sell that business & sell our house at the same time & working huge 80+hr weeks. He would never admit he was depressed. I still don't know to this day 100% why he did what he did. He refused to come to marriage counselling with me to sort out our issues. I had been going to see a psychologist for pnd for about 2mths prior to finding out about the affair. He knew I had been suffering but wouldn't & couldn't understand. We have stayed together & things had been going along well we finally sold the business & our house, brought our dream home have a new business & things have been great till about the beginning of January I had this reoccurring dream he walked in the door from work & told me he was leaving me & since then I have been back to the dr have been out on a low dose of anti depressants & am struggling emotionally & mentally. We have been talking a lot about out future as in we are buying a caravan so we can do more family things etc. so my question is is there any of you mummies or daddies out there that can say they have come out the other side of finding out ur partner had an affair & are 100% happy. I know I love him & I know I always will but I don't know if I can ever get over the fact he has done this to me & our little family. I don't have any friends either so I feel so isolated & depressed all the time. I can't sleep I'm not eating. Also have any of u tried hypnotherapy to help get those subconscious thoughts out??
Nup. Couldn't forgive him. Left his sorry arse when I found proof 2months after I'd had my 3rd baby. It was and is hard, but I am not going to be treated like shit! I just busted my whoohaa to give him baby no 3, and he fucks someone else. Eff off! Good luck, but I hope he treats u better soon.