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i knew i was setting myself up to be hurt Lock Rss

heya
aw no that sucks that your little man is playing up..Diago is a mission to get to sleep aswell. He has never been a "good sleeper" but i guess you dont get to chose do ya! Does your ds have a day sleep still? I prefer it when Diago doesn't have a sleep during the day because then he'll crash out at about 6 or 7pm where as if he does have a sleep during the day, even just a small one he won't go to sleep till about 9 or 10pm. Yeah I thought the same about the sexy nighty, showed him what he was missing haha. god i just hate him so much now ay, just the fact that he used me and that it meant nothing to him, honestly grr just the thought of him now makes me angry lol. So I guess I'm getting over him at least I'm not really sad anymore and not thinking about the "what ifs" Being single is ok for now I guess although I sometimes get lonely I'm hoping one day I may meet someone who I will settle down with but not holding my breath that it's guna happen. My studying is all over the show lol, I've dropped out of biology I just can't do it anymore I don't have the motivation, I'm enjoying legal studies that stuff really interests me which is good at least I'm enjoying some of it, just don't know what I'm going to go onto after this year. I wanted to do some phsycology but my school doesn't offer a course in that which kinda sucks. It's so hard when you've got a little one to distract you cos all your energy and focus goes into looking after them and entertaining them by the end of the day its just like argh i just wanna sleep lol. The tat didnt hurt to much, its healing up now which is good. It's getting really cold over here now, I'm getting a tad stressed because Diago is on a matress on the floor where we are at the moment and there's not enough room for a single bed so we sorta have to move out before it gets really cold because he can't be sleeping on the matress in the winter. only problem is i spent all my savings on my car so now I have no money for bond and stuff for a flat!!! i hope your study gets easier for you I keep telling myself it'll be worth it in the end but it can get sooo hard especially when you're not enjoying the work. anyway I hope to hear from you soon, i dont know when our comp will be getting fixed because im the only one who really uses it and i cant affor to fix it right now. how did your little boy go with his new bed? did he sleep in it? i hope so for your sake smile
heya
the first night in his new bed was a disaster !! i got 45 minutes sleep that night !! i put him to bed at 7...eventually asleep by 830..then woke up at 10 and i couldn't get him back to sleep til 430 in the morning !! then he woke up at 7. i was like a zombie ! lol. the 2nd night was much better he slept thru the wholeee night ! for the first time in over a year i didn't have to bust my guts to get him to sleep ! it was amazing. i had a lil help tho lol...three doctor's and a child health nurse recommended i finally try phenergon. wich i have always been against using any type of medicine to get a child to sleep...i always thought that was redicilous...but after a year of struggling and doing it on my own i have been so exhausted and run down i decided to give it a go. and it worked ! so im going to use it for a few nights to break his sleep pattern and form a new one. i felt really bad using it ( even tho it's not that bigger thing) but i have already noticed his behaviour has improved since he has been getting a good sleep.
he sometimes has a day sleep, depending if he slept well the night before, what time he wakes in the morning, what we been doing in the morning and if im tired lol. but usually we will just have a rest where i put some relaxie music on and we lay down and snuggle for a hour...i usually nod off lol. i used to find when he was younger tho that if he didn't have a day sleep he got over tired and was even more impossible to get to sleep at night.
so where you living now ? yeh winter will be a hard when with the little man on the floor. man if only we had a money tree !!!!! lol. id be so happy to BUY my own house. id be happy with a little house as long as it was a nice place to call home forever. isn't there any agencies that can help you bond ? i know over here i got help from centrelink and the housing of community works or somethinggg where they lent me the money for my bond once and i paid them back 15buks a fortnight. was great ! and there are other places that can give you interest free loans to buy all your white goods n furntiture etc.
thats awesome that your not getting upset over that guy anymore aye ! moving on. its funny how you usually go through a phase of emotions when things don't work out...you get sad and hurt and cry and then you move on to the angry stage/don't care stage/ dislike him hehe i like that stage lol its better than crying over a guy that isn't worth it.
study study study. hrmmm not a lot to say about that one. over it. lol. tho i have finally started to understand it a little bit now. slowlllly getting there. would help if i really wanted to do the course..but i don't particularly want to. oh well. thats life.
ohhhh i went out the other weekend ! i got so stupidly drunk. it seems to always happen ! i think because i hardly ever get to go out so when i do i go overboard and try make it an awesome night because i know i won't get the chance again for a while. so yeh i had a great night tho i don't remember much. the photo's my friends took tho says it all. lol i was up on a bar at one stage dancing. hang my head in shame lol. shocking ! you been out lately ?

Danni, WA,

lol wow thats a long post ! beat that hahaha.

Danni, WA,

heya, sorry i havnt written in so long, i came on here about a week ago and wrote out a real long post to you then i went to submit it and it said there was a error and my whole post was deleted!!! and i couldnt be bothered re-writing it sorry! that is great that your getting your little man into a good sleep routine, how's that going now?? still well i hope for the sake of your sanity lol it can really get you down when your child isn't sleeping well and you just get to the point of exhaustion. I have the sorest back, me and Diago have been sick this past week and last night he was sleeping in bed with me and he insisted on being snuggled up to me all night and if i tried to move him he would just cry well I am paying the price today! every time i even just bend down it hurts soo bad! We're living in the downstairs flat from my mum, its a pretty difficult situation we're in cos my best friend and her partner are trying for a baby, well they live down south at the moment, 6hrs from where i am, but if she falls pregnant she wants to move back up here and we all get a house together(me, Diago, her and her partner) which will be awesome cos shes like an aunty to Diago, she was at his birth smile so i dont wana get a small 2bdrm place and then she falls pregnant if you know what I mean! I'm buying Diago a spongebob toddler bed its really cute. My nana just came into the room and goes here you go heres $50 towards it lol shes cool like that she always gives us grandkids money and says "dont tell your grandad" lol they're pretty wealthy but my grandads a bit of a tight a ss haha. at least you're slowly gettin there with your study i havnt really been gettin alot done lately, I've gotta babysit an 18mnth old and a 4yr old tomorrow from 6.30am till 3.30pm its that same ladies kids who i was telling you about. Diagos meant to be going to daycare tomorrow morning but i duno if i'll send him it depends what hes like in the morning he didnt go this morning cos he just wasnt well enough, so i had to take him with me to do the groceries geez that was a mission in itself lol. I havnt been gettin out much lately been too tired and now with this cold I'm just so run down. I'm glad you had a good night out, even mums deserve a good night out every once in awhile ay! Well i went to a party a few weeks back was pretty crazy though the cops turned up and boy did i pay for it the next day i was sooo sick and Diago decided to wake up at 5.30am so it was a loooong day to say the least! hope to hear from you soon i'll be back on tomorrow night
hey how are you ?
a spongebob bed !!!! how wikid will that be ! i haven't seen those ones anywhere. he will love it !
tyler is sleeping soo much better now. he isnt so grumpy during the day and his behaviour has improved a lot. im getting more study done tho i was soo close to dropping out of uni yesterday, i was soo stressed out and felt (still sort of feel) way out of my depth on some of these subjects. and was worried i didn't want to keep going just to fail and then still have to pay thousands of dollars. but im going to give it a shot anyway. i hate to quit things once ive started them.
wow that would be a great idea to buy a house with your friend n partner. thats a pretty big commitment tho. but these days with the house prices its the only way. i was going to buy a house with my friend who is a single mum too and her son is 4 weeks younger then mine but i chose not to. she is great and all but i don't agree with all the choices she makes etc etc and thought hrmm better not.
aww u and ur lil man are sik !! u get run down aye. and yet you have to keep going and going. anyway wonder mum's get run down !! hopefully you will feel better soon. grocery shopping with children is a nightmare haha unless you have a bag full of little snacks (healthy ) and little things to keep them amused. the lady at the meat bit in the shops the other day gave tyler a piece of ham to have while he was in the trolley....was sooo great ! i got all my shopping done in peace...until he wanted more. smile
i haven't been to parties in years !!!! good old days haha. i just hate the hangovers ! my own fault i know, but i always go over board when i get the chance.
so whats new ?
has ur lil boy started doing any new things lately ?

well im off to do some more study sad so i shall again soon.

Danni, WA,

heya I'm alright still a bit sick. Aww your little boys name is Tyler thats one my friends sons name's hes' one week younger than Diago so we were pregnant together and they were both born on there due dates it was wierd but she did take castor oil so thats cheating lol. that is soo good that he is sleeping well and his behaviour has improved! When Diago was 13mnths old I got this book called "save our sleep" it was awesome and I got Diago into a really good routine where he would go to bed at 7pm every night with no fuss at all, I'd just give him a bottle, read him a story and put him in his cot and walk out of the room he wouldn't even cry he'd just fall asleep and sleep through the night in his cot it was great but then he started climbing out of the cot, hence all the problems we are having now. I hope he likes his new bed and sleeps through the night in it although I am not holding my breath. I hope you're feeling better about you're study, I just got some of my legal studies work back today that had been marked the teacher said I did really well which is good. I've sent away to this corresspondence college its like a correspondence university and I've requested an information pack on this legal secratery course, so I'll have a look what that seems like. Oh nah we won't be buying a house together just renting but still it'll make rent way cheaper and that. When Mikis(my best friend) baby is 2 her and her partner want to move out to a farm and raise the kid as a country kid lol. I thought that was a bit random when she told me smile yeah grocery shopping sure is a nightmare when you have a little one in tow lol Diago HATES sitting in the trolley, they used to have these car trolleys and you put $2 in and it played songs it had like the wiggles and stuff Diago LOVED it but they don't have it anymore, it was broken for awhile and now I guess they've just taken it away which sucks because that was the only way i could get my groceries done in peace and not in a mad rush! It was a stupid party really I'm just over that whole scene now. Reminded me of when I was about 15 lol. Diago has just started saying a few words he says mama, nana, shoe(shooey), no, ta, car, wow, uh-oh, hi, and thats about it he always tries to copy me though when I point something out to him like the neighbours cat i say "look Diago theres bob" and Diago says "bo" and he got the cheese out of the fridge the other day and I said "cheese' and he goes "chee" so he is getting there. I get pised of cos my dads always sayign stuff like "hes not talking very much" blah blah blah. what am i supposed to do I encourage his talking as much as possible! good luck with your study smile
heya
hey thats great you had him in such a good routine. tyler was like that too when he was younger but ive moved around a lot and so he has constantly been unsettled when that has happened and when he was younger he got sick all the time so it was near impossible.
haha i can relate to you about your dad. my parents constantly butted in and put their two bob's worth in, yet im the one with a diploma in children's developement, a qualified child care worker and have been a Director of a childcare centre. lol they crack me up.
ive met a new man !!!! well actually i haven't "met" him yet. he has been on my msn list for a couple of years and recently we started talking a lot again...everyday. he works up north a bit but can come down basically whenever he wants, we have a lot in common, he seems decent. he wants the same thing in life as me, he wants to settle down etc etc. but im freaking out a little bit and starting to 'run' a bit so ill see how i go and try build the courage to meet him.
grocery shopping sux lol. you should take a bag of little things for Diago to keep him amused. a bag of fruit or crackers etc. I always do my shopping in a rush because i never know at what moment Tyler is going to have a tanty and then its all overrrrr. lately he has been really good and if he is a good boy at the shops he gets to go on one of those car rides.
thats fantastic about the correspondance college/uni thing !! sounds like you know what you want to do. sometimes thats half the battle of working out what you actually want to do. uni is getting a lil better now, still not sure how i am going to pass one of my units, i really think i am going to have be luky and fluke it because i just can't grasp the concepts and its way out of my depth lol. lukily i won't need that much of detail in the workforce so if i can somehow fluke it then that will be fine with me !!
yeh im over the whole party scene. have been for a long time lol. love going to the pub with a bunch of mates. but not into the clubs etc etc. i also love to just relax at a bbq with my mates etc. that sort of thing. still have a few too many drinks of course lol.
yeh if you can rent with your friend that'd be good. its so expensive to rent or buy. it just sux. its getting more expensive too !!
well i am going to try have an early night tonight, do another few hours of study and get some sleep.
take care n chat again soon.

Danni, WA,

heya
yeah it was great that he was in a good routine but it sucks that hes not in one at all anymore. parents can be rather annoying and evry kid is different!! some people fail to realise that fact (Diagos dad) lol he expects Diago to be EXACTLY like his nephew whos now 3 1/2. He rang the other night, havn't heard from him since october. He goes "Sorry I didnt come visit Diago at christmas I was going to but I just thought I'd miss him more" Like WHAT!! excuses excuses lol. Oh thats great that you have met a man! well not "met" lol. I hope you do work up the courage to meet him and that he's as good as he sounds. I can understand you wanting to "run" sometimes things just seem to good to be true ya know what i mean? I have tonsilitis!! it bloody sux i havnt been in this much pain since i gave birth and thats saying somethin! I can hardly eat so I'm losing weight which is good lol probably just put it back on when i get better though haha. Diago now goes to daycare wenesday, thursday and friday mornings which is good means I can get into my studies a bit more! I know that I want to study law so yeah that is good at least I have more of an idea cos I've been unsure for aaaages. I hope ya do pass the unit your doing even if you do "fluke it" lol i hate it when you try so hard to understand something but it just doesn't get through!! thats what it was like when i was doing biology, sooo frustrating. I havn't been out drinking for awhile now cos I've been sick. hope things are good your way and Tylers still sleeping well for you ??
chat soon
aww tonsilitis !! i used to get that all the time. thankfully i havn't had it for a few years...touch wood ! yeh it takes the energy out of you thats for sure ! hope u get over it soon !
tyler has been sleepn ok but last night i couldn't get him to sleep til after 10..very frustrating.
i hate when ppl are so narrow minded to think that all children are the same and develop at the same rate...helloooo have they no common sence to understand that children will develop at their own INDIVIDUAL rate lol. im luky in that regard that tyler's dad is not around...he walked out on us a few days after tyler was born...messed with my head a bit considering he was all happy and held my hand during my emergency caesar and brought me the flowers n cards etc etc but anyhooo he is long gone until the day tyler wants to meet him, which of course i will support but not particularly looking forward to.
mm the new man....still haven't met him yet. he is coming down this weekend...easter weekend n i was planning on meeting him sometime then but the other night he did something stupid that he hasn't done in years (drugs) and it just pissed me off massive ways. he is sincerly sorry and he regrets doing it..regardless that i found out...and i believe that he is sorry etc etc but hrmm gives me an excuse to run doesn't it !! lol. so we will see how that all pans out. will be a shame if it ends before it really got started because we both feel we have something pretty special n long lasting going on. so i suppose i will just see what happes n decide after giving him a few weeks of the cold shoulder....such a nasty pasty i am..but would rather make a hugeee deal out of it so he doesn't do stupid shit like that again hahah. see i have learnt not to forgive so quickly otherwise these "men" think they can get away with anything hahahaha. well at least thats what i think.
mm study study...have u started the law thingy yet ? man i would find that an interesting subject but soo 'intense' n 'tenchical'. tho would always be good to know all that kinda stuff. it's wikid that u sound like u have a passion for it.
i haven't been out in awhile. not since my last time i went out and ended up dancing on the bar...so very stupidly drunk ! haha do not make a regular thing of doing that haha.
anyhoo i just finished my essay for one of my units....34 pages !! arghh over it. so ima relax n have a glass of wine tonight n do a little more study but am going to try go to bed before midnight...haven't been to bed before 230 in the morning since uni started. sux.
anyway enough rambling for me smile i am all hyped up because i finished the essay n my folks have tyler tonight..tho im staying home like a good little mummy and not going out.
how's ur little man going ?
hope you get well soooonnnnnn !!!! rest up and chat again soon kk.
ciaooooo

Danni, WA,

yup it does suck, just the pain of swallowing arghhh! But I'm pretty much better now, thank god. Stil on antibiotics for a few more days though so I can't drink which SUCKS cos I was supposed to be going to a party tonight, no not a stupid little party with 15yr olds lol its just like a bbq of my friends old flat mate the one that used to live there before the one I was sleeping with moved in argh so confusing lol. anyway I don't think I'll be going cos I'm not supposed to drink and anyway mums got work at 7am tomorrow so I'd have to be up early and I really cannot be bothered with a hangover on easter sunday! We coming up to my nanas for dinner tomorrow night and then on monday I have to go see my other grandad who lives like a 45min drive from us but I havn't seen him in months, hes a pretty grumpy old man lol but he likes Diago which is strange because he used to always grolw at us when we were kids, man I did NOT like him but he sent me $200 when Diago was born so maybe he's getting better with old age. ooh it sounds like you have something good with that guy I hope he is a keeper hehe. wow that is really awful that Tylers dad walked out a few days after you had Tyler!! Diagos Dad was txtn me when Diago was only a few weeeks old threatening to take me to court and go for full custody of Diago it really tore me up ay I was a mess cos i already had the baby blues i was crying alot at that stage! not what you need when you've got a newborn and your already sleep deprived and got mad hormones messing with your head! I'm just doing my school work atm trying to get my ncea level 2 then I'll decide what I want to do I guess! I'm still interested in doing law. congrats on finishing your unit! I don't know how you stay up so late! I get sooo tired! The latest I go to bed usually is about 10.30, 11! unless I'm out or something. Diagos new bed arrived the other day it is soo cool. He fell asleep in his highchair yesterday at 5.15 when he was eating dinner so I put him into bed, he woke up at 9pm and I had to sit next to his bed with him for 2hrs waiting for him to go back to sleep! he was just lying there with his eyes open but if I tried to go hop into my bed he would cry and sit up. sooo frustrating. He ended up finally falling asleep but then he hopped outa bed and came and hopped in with me later in the night anyway. so now I've pushed his bed right up next to mine and hopefully he'll sleep in it cos he'll know I'm right there. I reckon he would sleep better if he was in his own room cos he won't be able to look up and just see me over in my bed. I just want my friend to hurry up and get pregnant! so we can getta house and Diago will have his own room! Diagos good he's talking quite a bit now his new fave saying is "oh dear" lol. he also says baby, hello, bye and a few more but can't think right now! what sorta drugs was that guy doing if you don't mind me asking. I know a few people(guys) who smoke green and I'm mates with them but I'd never go any further, two of them like me but I wouldn't get invloved with someone who does it everyday, it's a shame really cos one of them is a pretty nice guy and the guy who I was sleeping with used to smoke quite a bit, still does probably but it never really bothered me. anywaaay I think thats all I have to say, hows things with you and your little man now? hope you have a good easter weekend ans I'll chat with you again soon
heya
yeh when tyler got his new bed the first few nights took ages. he just layed there with his eye wide open. sometimes he still does and it takes me hourss. when he was sleeping in my bed he would be out like a light, probably because i was right there. yep the late nights are starting to really catch up with me ! im cut it back to going to bed at 2 so i pack away all my study things n by the time i get into bed its just before 230 instead of being closer to 3. i used to be in bed by 11 at latest, now i have to stay up to get it all done, don't have a choice so i jsut keep going n going. tho today im reallly tired and could fall alseep very easily.
tyler's dad did the same thing bascially after he was born. is such a long story that still confused me, but he was there at the hospital n everything was great and then when i went home (had moved back to parents house) he wouldn't come over, i kept asking him to come over and see us n we could go through n sign the birth certificate etc n get that all sorted. but he never came around. then he turned the tables saying i wasn't letting him see his son. which was not true ! i wanted more then aything to do the little happy family thing. and my parents enoucraged him to come around too. then he went all weird and said he was going to take me to court for full custody ! so like you i was a complete mess for the first few months after tyler was born ! and i had post traumatic stress from the emergency caesar aswell. very emotional and hurtful. thankfully nothing came of it.
hows diago going in his new bed now ? is he crawling up into your bed ? lol.
grandparents are wikid ! tho i dont' have any sad my dad's side of family we don't talk to. and mum's side is all over in nsw's and my nana passed away 2 years ago and grandad died before i was born. our family is soo small, id so love to have the big family gatherings and bbq's and stuff.
that guy saw an old mate that he hadn't seen in yearrrsss and the mate convinced him to take a bit of speed. so he had a tinnyyy bit but as soon as he did he stopped cuz "he wants more from life than that crap". and he used to do that sort of stuff about 10years ago and would never go back to it. he is so angry at himself for doing it and so sincerly sorry that he upset me by doing it. he has said that he will show me he is not like that and he was so upset that he may have lost me over something so stupid etc etc. i do forgive him and i am talking to him again but ive told him i want to slow dowwnn and im not ready to meet him just yet now because of it. he respects that and says he will wait for as long as he has to. i don't so much have a problem with the fact that he did it altho it was really dumb ! it's more that he said he doesn't do it and then i ring him n he was off his head...so i think its more the lying part i don't like. plus i already have trust issues.i doubt he will do it again tho. i don't think he wants to either. but its also me associating with that, people can make their choices and do what they want, but we ar talking about a relatioship and my little boy is my top priority and i don't think thats the best sort of person to be with if he is going to do that crap..i have heaps of mates that do the green, some all the time and some others just every now n again. it doesn't bother me what so ever because they don't have a close relationship with my son and my son isn't going to get hurt by them. (hurt as in emotionally hurt if they build up an attachement to them n then they leave). so im really not to sure what to do. i know im not going to even introduce him to my son for agesssss because i don't want guys coming and going from his life..not to say that i have a lot on the go hahahah cuz i don't.but u know what i mean. at the end of the day i do honestly think it was just a stupid mistake. and we all slip up. still not to sure how i am supposed to think.
anyhooo i better go. tyler at nana's so im tryin to get a lil study done as i have assignemnt due tuesday...n i just realised i don't have a printer to print assignemnt out. i usually email to my dad at work n he prints it out for me. but its public holiday !! so i don't no what im going to doooo !!! i might have to borrow his work keys and go into his work. so sux.

Danni, WA,

hey
i know this wasn't directed at me, it was to diago's mummy, but just wondering have you even read the last say 50 posts on this topic ? i only ask because the whole situation is not the same as what it was in her first post and since then she has moved on.
another question in regard to contracting a STD...where did she once say that she was having unprotected sex? yes, she might of got her emotions involved when she already new it was simply a 'sex' thing going on,but who hasn't !
making herself out to be a victim ? again i don't see this. rather i believe diago's mummy was coming on here for advice and support and perhaps even a little bit of compassion, but she didn't play the victim role...hence why she stated that she knew it was just a casual thing from the beginning.



Danni, WA,

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