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  5. i knew i was setting myself up to be hurt

i knew i was setting myself up to be hurt Lock Rss

I have the right mind set because I KNOW that I have to stay away from him and I KNOW that I should just get over him but its really not that easy. its two weeks this morning since we last slept together and I do miss him. I don't really crave him anymore I'm just sad. The good thing is I don't have his number so I havn't been able to txt him and say anything, I don't want to sound desperate, at least he doesn't know and I still walk out of it with my dignity (as far as he's concerned because he doesnt know what I'm going through) One of my guy friends(well actually an ex) stayed last night because we went out with some other mates aswell and I didn't even want to touch him I stayed as far awayin the bed as possible lol all i could think about was dickhead. It sucks. I'm going to stop going out at all in the weekends and just stay home with Diago. I need to give myself time and I'm sick of feeling like shit even when I'm out and supposed to be having a good time I'm still thinking about him. I am so over males I am well and truly not going to look for one. Oh and my friend who broke up with her bf of one year has already got a new man (yup it has only been a week) Shes one of those chicks that cant not have a man, quite sad really but thats her.

anyway off that subject...lol... um i dont know what im going to do after im finsihed my schooling yet im thinking maybe animal care and go onto become a vet nurse or something like that im not too sure yet though. I've also thought about toursim. well i hope you have a good day xox

heya
yeh i agree. everything is always easier said than done. but at least you know that you don't need him and your going to stay away from him.

good thing you have your studies and your little boy to focus your energy and emotions on instead.
yep men i tell ya....its hard to keep faith that their is a good one out there when you alawys get played for a fool. and even when you change the style of guy your attracted to...they still turn out shit. lol. maybe one day ill come accross a good catch.
do you go out a lot on the weekends ? who minds your lil one ?
i hardly ever go out. sux. but i find i don't really want to much anymore anyway. would rather bbq's and just the pub every now and again with a bunch of mates. when i get a minute to myself sometimes i rather get take away and dvd and veg out in peace n quiet lol.
me had a good day. my tooth is hurting...gettin wisdom teeth out next week...that is gunna suk ! other than that just been studying and busy with the lil man. took him swimming today. was lots of fun.
anywaysss hope all is well ur way.

Danni, WA,

hey
im feeling alot better today I feel stronger and I know i can stay away from him now. yeah im just going to stay only friends with the guys i know it makes it alot less complicated and no risk of getting hurt. I have been going out a bit lately when me and **** were sleeping together i was staying over there a fair bit and mum would watch diago but that wouldnt be until he was asleep, thats not the sort of mother i want to be though, I always said wouldnt do that and I feel bad about it now. I would rather focus on getting my study finished now. I do correspondence and its hard to get time to study. Diago goes to daycare for one morning and one afternoon a week but I'm trying to get more mornings. ideally id like him to go every morning that way I'll be able to get all the study done i need to and go to the gym aswell. and he loves it at daycare, I want to get my qualifications cos i really wana make a good life for my little boy and i hate living off the government. aw Diago loves swimming but it was raining yesterday so we went to chipmunks instead its like a big indoor play area its got a huge slide i took Diago down it and he just cracked up laughing its so cute and he loves the ball pit too, buries himself so we cant even see him and hes just laughing about it lol. things are definitly looking up I'm hardly thinking about **** at all anymore, hes not worth it.
I hope your teeth arent hurting as bad anymore!! well have a good day xx
heya
thats great that he is slowly getting out of your mind. it makes it easier when you have things to occupy your mind...and what could do that more than a lil boy and your studies. lol.
im in the same boat. im doing my uni externally so i can do it from home. my son isn't in daycare anymore tho so it makes it really hard to find the time to study....im just taking a quick study break now...its after midnight. ill stay up til 2 studying and then i race to bed and try get sum shut eye before the sun comes up and i start all over again lol.
my teeth were aching sooo bad last night i couldn't sleep. i got up and waited an hour til it was time i could take some more pain killers. tho didn't work. not so bad tonight thank goodness. oh well.
ahh im so half sleepy i probably not making much sence. sorry if its all over the place tonight.
yeh when i was seeing this guy a few years back and staying at his house and going out on the weekend i started feeling heaps guilty. i think everything in moderation is good. its hard tho, finding the right balance of being a single parent and still trying to go out and party with your friends. i don't go out much tho. the hangover isn't worth it lol.
anywazz i think im starting to babble so i best go and get some more study done sad
hope your making progress with your studies too...it'll be worth it at the end like you say smile
chat again soon.

Danni, WA,

Its such a sad situation to be in.You want the feeling of being loved and yet the guy you chose only loves you for a booty call. Chin up, i hope you realise this guy is so not worth the tears and headache that he's causing you.Hugs to you and your little DS. Its better to find out now than get a relationship up and running only to find out what a scum bag he is and have him hurt your DS too. Hugs your way
diago's mummy
where you at ? haven't heard from you in a lil while. everything ok ?

Danni, WA,

heya sorry my comps a bit screwed so i havnt been bothered coming on. But anyway im good havnt seen or heard from **** since i deleted his number but that suits me apparently his ex has moved back up anyway. Diago is such an awesome little guy hes getting more interesting by the day it was so cute the other night i was baby sitting my mums friends kids and her youngest son is 2mnths younger than Diago and Diago kept on chasing him around with his bottle and putting it in his mouth, diago didnt even try putting the bottle in his own mouth which was good cos hes been off the bottle for a few mnths now. I've been getting a bit of study done lately, which is good. had a quiet weekend. Oh and im getting a tattoo on friday on the inside of my left wrist of Diagos name i cant wait. hows things with you? chat soon smile
hey
its so good to hear that you are going well.
aww diago looks like a very cute little monkey. i don't know how you have the energy to babysit other children too....my lil boy never setted when i used to have my friend over n her son.at night time they would be so cheeky. and we were too exhausted to keep at it.
a tat aye. ive been forever saying im going to get a little one that symbolises my boy. just not to sure what to get.
i got my wisdom teeth out today in hospital. my mouth and tongue is stilll numb and trying to swallow is hard. lukily its not as painful as what i thought it would might, its more uncomfortable than anything.
i started my study but stopped since i was gettn these teeth out etc....once recovered n rested up i will have to get back into it.
anywazzzzz i hope all is good your side.

Danni, WA,

heya

he is cute but he can be a little monster lol. He is IMPOSSIBLE to take to the shops now days. i had to go buy a new jug this morning cos mine crapped out and he was running around the store like a mad man lol. wouldnt sit still in his pram for 2mins and when i said to him at the end do you wanna hop bak in your pram he just goes "noooo". Then i went to the clothes store and he was just trying to get all the clothes down, I ended up buying a new dress i probably shouldnt because I ended up dipping into my savings but it looked so nice on and it ws reduced lol i had to buy it even though i have no idea were i am going to wear it lol im so hopeless smile It is pretty exhausting looking after other kids aswell but they're pretty good and i just put them to bed at 8pm and they're all really good sleepers, theres a 5yr old, 4yr old and 17mnths old. they're good kids and they're mum is just amazing, her partner and the childrens father died in a tragic car accident just over a year ago, the youngest was only 10wks at the time and his dad had been looking after him full time while the mum worked. i dont know how she copes, must be exhausting, she works full time as a nurse. Diago and Cael are good mates hehe smile ouch that must have hurt getting your wisdom teeth out, i dont even have mine yet. i hope you're feeling better soon smile


hey
that mother sounds like a very strong lady !! my heart goes out to her loosing her partner and the children's father. sounds like she is doing an amazing job.
haha my lil one is impossible to go shopping with as well. tho lately he hasn't been too bad. he usually runs a muck and hides in the clothes racks. sometimes if im luky he will sit in the trolley for 10minutes.
yeh my wisdom teeth were all messed up so i got them taken out. not too painful but i was really freaked out about getting put to sleep.
well im feeling guilty for not doing any study so im going to try stay up and do a little bit now.
oh i brought this wikid dress about 3months ago...i still have the tag on it ! i don't know where ill wear it either but its looks heaps nice on so i had to get it lol smile

Danni, WA,

heya, sorry its took so long to reply but our comp is completly screwed now so i cant use it at all. atm im at my nanas using her computer. hows things been with you? I'm ok, i seen dickhead the other day. ok this might be confusing but my friend got back with her ex and we went round there drinking last thursday, dickhead wasnt there, he was probably staying with his ex but anyway i ended up crashing on the couch and he came in at like 6 in the morning cos he starts work early and he flicked the lights on and off and i was just like what the fuck? and he goes is that you lucy? i was like yeah, he goes "oh hey" and then pretty much bye lol it was a very quick convo and then i was busting to go toilet but didnt wana get up while he was still there cos i was only wearing a really skimpy nighty cos me and my friend were at a lingerie party the night before and anyway i thought he had gone but turns out he was still in the driveway sitting in his car and the door was wide open so he definitly saw me i felt rather embarrassed. I miss our little meetings but oh well. I hate studying its so hard to get motivated because im doing biology and i cannot stand it!! I've just started legal studies which is HEAPS better because i actually enjoy it and find it interesting unlike science and stuff, i prefer english etc to science and maths. me and diago went to the beach this morning which he just loved. he's only just started saying words he says "ta, mama, nana, bubba, boo, no" He's such an awesome little guy i love him so much. I got my tattoo last week it looks cool but its a bit scabby and it gets heaps itchy which can be annoying because i cant scratch it! well i hope to hear from you soon and i'll reply as soon as i can smile
hey
thats cool. i havent been on here much lately either. i have soo much study to do i don't know how im going to get through it and meet the due dates. my lil boy is playing up big time. he won't sleep at night without me and sometimes can't get him to bed before 1030...wich is a huge improvement cuz a few weeks back it was closer to 2 in the morning. im getting him his own bed this weekend in the shape of a fire truck he is soo excited ! i just hope he goes to sleep in it because i won't be able to go to bed until he does. and its hard enough once he is finallly in bed i go and do my study but its soo late i can't focus. ANDDD lol all the other gals at uni are saying they have already done the first assignment ! umm i haven't even read the flippn book yet !!!! so its all greaaattt my way hahah.
i can't believe he was like hi and bye style with you ! pffft. what a dik. at least in ya sexy nightie you would've shown him what he's missing lol. good stuff. ouch did your tat hurt ? i so wanna get one bt think ill wait til winter cuz its so hot here at moment.
the beach is so much fun for the lil ones aye. ive started taking my boy down the pool in the arvo to "try" and make him tired for bed...failed but was still fun.
sorry for such long and rambling post but thought id have a yarn now before i hit the books again...okay i am trying to delay lol. i know what you mean about study tho ! i hate it. and im doing cultural mathematics and crap at the moment for uni to do my teaching...argghh not enjoying a second so far. hope you having better progress with study than me...least it will all be the worth it in the end aye.
hope you and your lil man are good ! take it easy and chat soon.
danni
ps..that sux about your computer ? do you know when you'll be fixing it.

Danni, WA,

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